


I Love You As Steve

by 4captains



Series: Truth From The Start [1]
Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Bisexual Steve, Gay Bucky, M/M, agent bucky barnes, steve has ptsd and anxiety
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-14
Updated: 2019-09-21
Packaged: 2020-08-23 16:57:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 45,697
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20246215
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/4captains/pseuds/4captains
Summary: Steve Rogers woke up in 2012 to the face of a male agent with a poorly constructed prosthetic arm. When he attempts to lie to Steve about his situation (under orders) Steve calls him on it. Agent Bucky Barnes tells the truth, forming a bond of trust between the two men that can't be broken. An alternate universe where Bucky is there for Steve from the moment he wakes up.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I LOVE WRITING! I hope everyone really enjoys this!

Everyone knew the story of Captain America. The story of Steve Rogers, who became America's sweetheart super soldier during the Second World War. The man who’d punched nazis, saved so many people, and died stopping a nuke from killing them all. James “Bucky” Barnes had read about him in the history books like any kid did, and had read the comics, watched the cartoons, seen the movies... Captain America had been an amazing man and America was worse off for his plane crashing. 

So how fucking shocked and surprised do you think former Sergeant Barnes was when he got called up by S.H.I.E.L.D for a job? They'd asked him in and explained that they'd found the captain in the ice. They claimed he was alive, though not awake yet, and he would need someone to guide him through the new century.Bucky wasn’t sure he believed it, and when he got out that Captain America would be lied to, he was hesitant. Still, he felt it was his duty to be there for his country. S.H.I.E.L.D had given him this idiotic 1940’s military outfit and a dumb script. He was supposed to convince Steve Rogers that it was still ‘45, which was dumb. So now Bucky was sitting on a chair outside of the room, playing on his phone while waiting for Captain Rogers to wake up.

As soon as he got the alert that Steve had, Bucky slipped into the room with a clipboard, smiling his most winning and innocent smile...which was usually made more for when he stole the last cookie. "Captain Rogers."

Steven Grant Rogers had been alone most of his life. He'd had his mom, of course, but he hardly remembered his dad. He’d only had one friend who moved when he was 15, and hadn’t had anything in the way of partners. In fact, after his mom died, he'd had nobody. Nobody, that is, until he'd met the doctor and his crew. It had been a miracle; an extremely painful one, but a miracle just the same. His ailments were gone, he was 6 feet tall, built powerfully, and able to lift ridiculous amounts of weight. It certainly wasn't easy, doing what he did in the army...but he did it anyway.

Until his plane went down.

And he knew no more.

Now he woke slowly, registering the sounds of the radio. His hand came up to touch his head. The sheets were soft. Too soft, he'd never felt anything this soft. The bed was like laying on a marshmallow...and Steve didn't like it. He heard the voice and his eyes snapped open, fixed on the man in uniform in front of him. Distrust prickled. The uniform wasn't genuine, for one thing. For another, that game playing on the radio... "Where am I?" he asked calmly.

"New York." Which wasn't a lie, they really were in New York. "Your plane went down. You...probably already knew that” DAMNIT BARNES FOCUS. “They said y'might have memory loss issues, so, ya went down with ya plane. It took ages for'em to fish ya back up. How'ya feelin' Cap?" Bucky was trying his best not to be too starstruck, but it was hard because… this was Captain fucking America. All Bucky could thing was how fucking cool it was that they were even in the same room, and how awful it was that he was obligated to lie. But he kept that to himself.

"Let me rephrase that." said the Captain, who now sounded like he was giving an order "How long was I in the ice? Because that game?" he indicated the radio. "I was there for that. This bed certainly wasn't in the military, or out of it for that matter, when I went down." He swung his legs over the edge of the bed and made for the door. "So...how long was I in the ice?"

Bucky had two options here, play blue eyed and keep lying, or, he could jump off script and probably (definitely) get fired. Yikes, he'd had the job for like an hour. But this was Captain America, another soldier. 

So, Bucky sighs and pops down on the chair beside the bed, looking soft and relaxed, a lot more so than he had a moment ago. He even popped a foot up on the metal frame of the bed. "A'right, gettin' fired but hell. We're both soldiers. Y'were under for a long fuckin’ time. Like... sittin' comfy? If ya pass out an' get a concussion I ain't gonna be the one at fault, deal?" Bucky holds his hand out, brows up, as if waiting for agreement.

Steve folded his arms. "Pretty sure I physically can't pass out. How long are we talking?" He looked at the soldier, suspecting it was bad. Or worse than bad. Still, Steve had stopped by the door, waiting for the other shoe to drop.

"Seventy years... give or take. s'2012." Bucky said, looking at Steve with a little frown. "An' I ain't usually dressed this way, sorry 'bout that. He pulled the hat off, then the jacket. Bucky's left arm was a prosthetic. Not exactly a great one either. Mostly he left it off when he was at home. The reason it was so poor was because his insurance sucked. He still had a white button up on, but as unbuttoned it, you could see the t-shirt with a print on it saying “Free Licks." Probably not the best first impression, but a guy couldn't be perfect.

Steve paled so abruptly it was alarming. He didn't seem to know what to do with himself. "20...12?" he asked, his voice hollow. "But...that's..." The eloquence, the self-awareness, was gone. In bare feet, he turned and sprinted out the door. He passed people, many of whom tried to stop him, and burst outside. He stood on the streets of New York...and just stared.

Bucky groaned, getting up from his chair and darting after him. In difference to those who tried to stop him, and thus wasted time, Bucky was just running to catch up. He finally arrived outside, breathing heavily, and leaning over for a moment. "God y're fuckn' quick." He gasped out. But of course a moment later, there are cars pulling up and Bucky sighed quietly. "Good luck cap'n. Hope things turn out fine for ya... n'ya know... m'sorry." 

Because of course, Bucky got fired like ten minutes later. It's a bit of a blow, because that job could have been fucking cool. Helping out Captain America. Bucky wondered what kinda stiff stick up the ass the Captain would be guided around by now.

It took three days before Steve would talk. When he did, the first question he asked was "Where's the man who told me the truth?" He asked it in a subdued voice the first time, but when all he got in response was silence, he felt a sinking sensation similar to when he'd stepped out into the New York streets those days ago. He stood, and said firmly. "Where is the man who told me the truth? I want an answer."

The agent who’d replaced Bucky, dressed in black and white and appearing really boring, looked nervous. "Agent Barnes got fired for insubordination." He replied nervously. "But I can assure I am more than qualified if you have questions."

"No he didn't." said Steve firmly "He got fired for telling me the truth. Let me ask you something, agent. If I had spent my life lying to those who needed the truth, where do you think I would be? And if you personally realized you were standing between Captain America and the only person who ever intended to be honest with him...what would you do? Think carefully, before you go and get me the man who fired Agent Barnes, and Agent Barnes himself. If you don't, not only will I ensure that you're fired by leaving right this minute, I will also not cooperate with another damn thing this agency wants of me. Do I make myself perfectly clear?" His blue eyes were cold as ice chips. Suddenly, he was a soldier. He wasn't gentle. He wasn't sweet. He was Captain America, and someone was standing between him and his goal.

The poor agent practically fled the room to get Steve's will through. It took about two hours before there was a knock on the door, and a woman who introduced herself as Maria Hill requested him in a conference room to meet with Mr. Barnes again. 

Bucky had been called back after three days. He'd gone back to his old job, so he'd needed to ask his boss for some time off. The man wasn't too happy but had agreed. Now Bucky was sitting in the conference room in a greasy pair of jeans and a tee with a rainbow flag and the words “Gay Pride” on it. He looked confused and somewhat misplaced in a room with several neatly dressed higher agents. He smiled a little when the captain shows up. The agent directors had already said he was getting his job back (possibly) but Steve had requested him to be there, so he was.

Steve walked into the room, and didn't sit. He stood with his arms folded, and looked between every agent, and not immediately at Agent Barnes. "So. Initially, despite what I saw, I didn't believe I was out for 70 years. I believe it now." He looked coldly at one of the agents "70 years ago, honesty would be rewarded unless it were a matter of national intelligence. Last I checked, telling me that I'd been in ice for 70 years wasn't going to hurt anyone. Was the idea to ease me in? If so, you should've done your research more carefully. I was 9 years old when I went to the baseball game playing on that radio. That bed? Way too nice to be military issue, or the standard at all in my time. So here's my question: You made those foolhardy, ridiculous mistakes that tipped me off, and you punish the person who confirmed what I already suspected? Here's an idea...if you're going to fire anyone for anything, fire the people who set up the damn room wrong in the first place. Now. He gets his job back, or I walk out now and figure this out myself. You can't stop me, as you all know. I damn sure don't trust anyone outside of him, so you can take it or I leave. Your decision, and you have 30 seconds to make it."

It wasn't a hard one; they couldn't afford for Steve to just... walk out on them. "You must understand, Captain Rogers, that we did what we did..." But the look the agent was getting was enough to shush them at once. Maria was the only one looking unbothered by this. "Then we agree, Mr. Barnes gets his job back." She says. 

Bucky just kind of stares and then shakes his head a little, "I want a raise." He says cheerfully, not sure if it'd work or not, but worth a try. Which it really was, because they agree! 

Once the meeting is done, Bucky pops up and follows Steve outside, grinning at him. "So, thanks for m'job back Cap!" He says with a wide smile.

Steve didn't seem altogether amused in the room, but as soon as they were out he cracked a smile. "I owe you one, Agent Barnes" he responded "I'd rather have not been lied to, only to be told the truth at the 11th hour. It was my pleasure to help." He looked tired, but determined. Determined to do what he had to do here. He stopped halfway down the hall. "Your shirt" he began evenly. "How haven't you been arrested?"

In Steve's day, anything public like that...you wouldn't be long on the streets, if you didn't get killed first. It was terrifying to imagine wearing something like that.

"Seventy years grampa." Bucky says, patting Steve's shoulder, pushing away his whole star struck side to try to see the captain maybe as a potential friend? "Bein' gay aint against no rules.” Bucky follows Steve back towards his temporary room, Steve's new apartment would be done in a day or so. "I'm gay as a fuckin,' doorknob. Hope it ain’t gonna be an issue? If it will..." then Bucky would really like to know so he could quit. Just because you were Captain America didn't mean you were allowed to be homophobic. At least in Bucky's world.

Steve was stuck on two things. That he was allowed to be...who he was. And that Bucky was also Jewish. Initially, he was trying to figure out what to say; what if this were some kind of trap? Finally (it had only really been about ten seconds) he said "I've never dated before. But I don't think I'd be worried about their sex." He said this in a matter of fact, but somehow concerned tone. Like he wasn't sure how this was going to be handled. "I'm Jewish too, by the way."

"Bisexual." Bucky supplies, "in case ya wanted a label, or a flag. I'll show ya later." Bucky hums. He was probably info bombing, and he was trying to keep it to somewhat of a minimum. He wondered if they had gone through phones and shit yet with Steve. He knew that the Captain was Jewish. Steve's background wasn't really secret anymore. Hell, you could probably find out all of his old sicknesses if you wanted to. "Don't let my mama know you’re Jewish. She's gonna insist on invitin' ya to all the bog holidays. The Barnes clan is huge." He warns playfully. Not that anyone in his family knew what he was doing. No one in the world really knew about Steve yet.

Steve seemed lost in thought. As they entered his room, He sat down on the edge of the bed that was way too soft. He looked around, saw a hard-backed chair, and sat in it instead. "Since when is telling the truth a fireable offense? How long has that been....the war!" he said abruptly. "Did we win?"

"S'a fireable offence if ya got a script to go after. They're kinda picky here." Bucky said with a little shrug, popping down in another chair. "They didn' tell ya? Also, I did tell ya I’m Jewish." He pointed out with a little smile. "The Germans lost. America, the British, and the French kinda moved in on one side. Russia were the ones t’ hit Berlin first. Hitler blew his brains out, having ordered his guys t’ burn his body. Good riddance. Dunno much about what happened, as m’ not too great at school stuff."

"We won" muttered Steve. It was a lot to take in. "When I heard what was happening in Germany...when I saw..." He had never had time to process this stuff. He'd been moving, moving, moving constantly. Never a break, never a pause to rest or relax. He'd seen horrors and had to deal with it alone and move on. "Well. I'm glad it's over." he said in a calmer tone.

"Yeah, times are real different. There are still assholes though, but y'know, that'll always happen. I am here to guide ya through the modern times, if ya want one of those. Meanin', if ya have any questions y'can ask me an' I'll try'n answer 'em." Bucky explained to Steve with a smile.

Steve looked over at him; his blue eyes seemed a little dull. Like he was trying to figure out exactly what his place in life was, and couldn't find an answer. He didn't speak immediately; when he did, he said "What do people think of me? I vanished off the face of the earth in the middle of the war."

Bucky felt bad for the guy, couldn't be easy to be gone and come back to.. this. The technical advances had been huge just the during Bucky's growing up. "War hero. Y're in our history books." Bucky replied gently. They didn't have to go through the comics, movies, game adaptations. The fan merch? That was for another day. "My lil sis is doin’ a school project 'bout ya I think." He supplied with a little snort of amusement

"A war hero?" he asked hollowly. Funny enough, he seemed to be caught somewhere between being grateful and being miserable. "I didn't do much to deserve that." He stood up, and started to pace, albeit slowly. "Your sister is doing...a project on me?" He looked at Bucky with furrowed brow.

"Yeah, history project." Bucky noted the nervousness though and tapped his foot a little while trying to figure something out. "This place, makin' ya all antsy?" Because it sure as fuck was making Bucky antsy. Maybe because S.H.I.E.L.D. had like five bugs in it that he could actually spot.

"I feel trapped here" said Steve softly "How am I supposed to feel? They should've left me in the ice. New York is different...the rest of the world is the same. How many people died in the war? How many died from starvation or cold?" He ran his fingers in agitation through his hair. "I don't know what I'm supposed to be thinking. I just don't want to be in this room. This same room where I was supposed to be lied to, and tricked. I woke up knowing it."

Bucky nodded and got up from the chair, smiling at Steve. "A'right. Y're gonna get a new apartment in a day or two. Til then, I got a guest room. Warnin'ya though. I got a cat, black thing, missin' a leg, will chew your fingers if you don' give'er enough pets." 

Bucky's place was bug free. He knew for sure; he'd know instantly if anyone had been in his home. He could be extremely paranoid. But it was a comfortable two room apartment that was big enough for them both.

Steve looked up at him, his eyebrows going up. "You'd let me stay with you?" he asked, more curious than skeptical. This guy...he was different than what Steve was used to. "If you do, I'll personally meet your sister" he promised.

"Yeah, we're gonna work pretty close, might as well get to know each other right? What better way than sleepovers?" Bucky says playfully smiling widely at Steve. "We should keep low on my sis for a while though, y're gonna have to survive enough expressions the closest weeks y'know.”

Steve didn't have much stuff to gather. His shield was leaning against the wall, likely to make him feel more at home. He picked it up, and the clothes that they'd left for him, and packed it in the military duffel beside his bed. Once everything was together, he held his shield and threw the bag across his shoulder, following Bucky out. He stopped in the doorway, looking right at one of the bugs, and said "Hydra invented those things. Try and stop me, and we'll have a problem."

Bucky snorted in amusement; Steve had clearly seen the bugs. "We're gonna have to go through ya apartment too an' break'em all when ya get it. Mine is clear. I was in a special ops group, an’ know how to find bugs." That was where he had lost his left arm too. 

He heads down to the garage with Steve. Bucky's gray, somewhat crappy car really stood out between the black fancy ones, but Bucky liked it. It was reliable. The trunk required a little fiddling, but then pops open. Bucky hummed and motioned for Steve to put his things in. 

"So, could I ask something?" Bucky asks hopefully once they were in the car. Because he needed to just ask SOMETHING.

Steve nodded agreement. "Ask whatever you want" he responded "I owe you one...or five."

Bucky laughed a little, because yes, if they played twenty questions, Steve did owe him a few. "What’s ya favorite treat? Like, candy wise, or chips."

"Oh..." Steve laughed self-consciously. "I guess they probably don't make them anymore. They were called 'twinkies', and were pretty much the only sweets we had in the military."

Bucky honest to god cackled in amusement at that. What a goddamn fucking answer. "Stevie, I got some real good news for ya." Bucky says with a wide grin as they drive out of the garage.

Steve looked at him so fast there was a crick in his neck. "Are you kidding?" he asked, looking like a kid on Christmas. A smile spread across his face; the first proper one in over 70 years. "They still have Twinkies?"

Maybe this was something familiar he could rely on; one of the few things, he assumed. After all, it had been 70 years. Not much lasted for 70 years.

"Y'know what, I'll getcha some on the way there." Laughs Bucky as he easily navigates the busy streets. "Wait lemme, hey! Siri, google 40’s candy still buyable." Bucky calls out to his phone. It takes a moment, then she lists up candies that were still around.

Steve was absolutely overwhelmed. Some of it he’d only heard of, and been unable to afford. Others of it he knew so well he was shocked. “It’s all still around? And...what was that?” He asked, indicating the device.

"Yeah, along with a bunch of new stuff. I guess it's gonna be better we do groceries another day when y've given some time to think." Bucky says thoughtfully, he'd just dip in for a quickie for twinkies and breakfast stuff. Steve could easily wait in the car. "An’ that? Well, I know ya old timey people had your phones on the walls? Nowadays, we bring'em. That's my phone." Bucky said, smiling as he drove. He knew that the S.H.I.E.L.D. team had most likely not been through that stuff. "We'll get ya one too later on. I'm gonna need to give ya a crash course in social media first."

Steve was feeling a little lost, not to mention pretty shocked at the idea that phones could be carried around with you. “So...who was on the phone with you? I mean...who’s Siri?”

"Uh, she's a program, like... you tell the program and it does it for you, calling, Googling. Right... Google is a search program, like... an encyclopedia!" Happy to have somewhat of a comparison, Bucky takes another turn. "Y'can pick mine up if ya wanna. Wait." Bucky takes the phone and presses his thumb against the home button to unlock it. "Have a few games in there. Just don' throw it when it pisses you off... already did that so this one is a sort of new one. The crack is me droppin' it."

Steve had no idea what to do with the phone, but before he took it he asked "Is it delicate?" because just the other day he'd snapped a fork in half when he tried to eat. Or...70 years ago he had. He still didn't know his own strength.

"Yeah, s'an iPhone, they break if ya look at it the wrong way." Bucky laughed, pulling into a parking spot. "Gimme ten minutes, I'll be right back." Since Steve hadn’t taken the phone, he took it with.

Then Bucky dashed in, and he is gone for... maybe fifteen minutes. Oops. But he'd grabbed a ton of twinkies and some stuff for breakfast, along with more coffee for the machine.

The bag is tossed into the backseat of the car, but Bucky holds over a box filled with Twinkies . "Here ya go! Don'worry, got ya five more boxes back there." Bucky hums, driving the car towards the closest Starbucks because he was dying for coffee.

Steve stared at the box in his hands. The packaging was different, but when he opened it...the twinkies themselves looked exactly the same, but bigger. Steve looked over at Bucky and gratefully thanked him. "I can't believe these are still around" he managed.

"They're the crappiest junk y'can get." Bucky laughed a little, shaking his head in amusement "but they're cheap so, ya aint gonna have an issue eatin' as many as ya wanna. Hey, d'ya like coffee? Imma make a coffee stop."

"You can afford coffee?" he asked, blinking at Bucky. He hadn't yet realized that he'd have plenty of money too. He'd been paid well as Captain America, but hadn't had any chance to use it or process how much he had. "I'd love some, if that's alright?"

"Yeah, coffee aint expensive anymore. What used to be too expensive?" Asked Bucky, curious.

"Well..." Steve looked out the windshield. "We couldn't afford to turn on the heat in midwinter. For us, everything was expensive. Chocolate, coffee, hell...I couldn't afford my medication most of the time."

"Chocolate, coffee, heating, those ain't too bad now! Medication systems still suck in the states though unless ya have a great insurance. That’s why I got my crappy prosthetic." He explained waving the left hand a little. "It works though, don't worry I aint a liability. Besides, I'm right handed."

Steve looked at him with worry on his face. "Can I help in any way? Pretty sure I could convince SHIELD to provide you with a better one." It was starting to occur to him that he had a lot of power, which he didn't intend to abuse...for bad. But getting this guy whatever he wanted? That seemed good to him.

"Dunno. Maybe." Bucky replied with a little smile, then shakes his head a little. "Maybe later Cap'n, lets get ya settled first a'right? If they change it, s'gonna be a process an' I don' want ya to get agent bore again, y'know?"

An involuntary smile came over his face at the nickname. He liked that. Cap’n. 

They got their coffee, and Steve was appalled by the prices. It took some explaining about inflation for him to stop stammering his thanks, completely shocked. He still said 'thank you', polite as ever. The coffee was incredible; strong and flavorful, but he was curious about Bucky's drink. It looked like ice cream! "What...is that?" he wondered.

"Double caramel frappuccino." Bucky hums happily, taking another sip of his sugar bomb disguised as coffee. "With extra topping." He sighed happily, then held it over for Steve. "Have a taste! Ya like twinkies, y'might like this."

"Oh, I..." Steve wasn't really sure. He finally shrugged, accepted the drink, and took a sip. WOW that was sweet, and very tasty. But he was pretty sure he wouldn't drink more than a few sips. "It's good" he passed it back "but I think I'll stick with coffee. Thank you though." He really did seem to appreciate all of this work that Bucky was putting in. "Agent Barnes, you said people are allowed to be gay now, right?"

"Bucky's fine. S'what most people call me anyway, and I ain't really an agent... well, I was only made agent cause y'happened to sprout y'know." Bucky preferred to just be called Bucky, he had gotten used to it a long long time ago. As they spoke, Bucky sat his drink aside and started to drive again. "But yeah. S'not the majority of course, n'most people are fine with it. Not all, some countries are real bad." Bucky nods a little as he talks, glancing over to Steve. "Look, y're hot an' all that, but no worries, I ain't gonna try anythin with ya. I only hit on people I already gotten to know or when I'm at the bar. So y'aint having to worry 'bout that, if ya did."

Steve was startled out of his thoughts. "I'm not worried about that....Bucky" He had almost called him Agent Barnes again. "If anything, being...er...hit on would be flattering. A little scary" he winced "I'm not used to this being acceptable. I was asking because..." He looked out the window, not immediately sure how to phrase this.

"Oh! Then sorry, sometimes guys get uncomfortable 'bout me when they know I'm gay." He explains to Steve. Then he pays full attention to Steve to let him get his question out. "Yeah?" He encourages.

"Well...because I couldn't tell anyone when I was...young. If I had, they'd have locked me up in a sanitarium. Which would be worse than prison." He huffed softly. "It sounds like it would still be a disappointment to people if they knew."

Bucky nodded to show he was listening to Steve, then shook his head a little. "You would amaze a lot of people. But before y'do anything cap, we're gonna have to’ go through social media skills. Also, people dunno y're back yet."

"How are people going to handle it?" he asked, looking at Bucky as though expecting he'd have some perfect answer "I vanished, after all."

"Dunno." Not very professional, but truthful and Steve seemed to be the kind of guy who valued the truth. "I mean, y're a modern day legend, y'know? People are gonna be skeptical, thinkin' maybe this is some kinda scam?"

"I don't know that I'd blame them." said Steve "I'm still having a hard time believing I'm 90 years old. Last I checked, I was in my 20's." Abruptly, he looked a little lost. Brooding. He stared out the window as he considered the fact that anyone he'd known was gone. He was...alone, in the realest sense. He’d always been pretty alone, but nobody he was familiar with was here. All he had was this guy sitting next to him, being incredibly kind. This...stranger who Steve trusted more than anyone. Wasn't that a little sad? Trusting someone he'd known for less than a day total. He didn't know what he was supposed to do with himself. He was allowed to be with men. He was alive in a time he wasn't familiar with. The war was over. What was he needed for, if anything?

Bucky smiles a little at that, because he was pretty damn sure Steve was real. "I think y'kinda just paused. Y'can safely still say y're in ya twenties." Offered Bucky. He drove them into a garage under a building and into his spot before getting out. He grabbed the grocery bag from the back. 

Steve took a deep, slow breath. Here goes the rest of his life.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve spends his first night in Bucky's apartment. He receives a gift from an unexpected crush. He gets some good food for the first time in 70 years.

Once Steve has his stuff from the trunk and the box of twinkies in hand, Bucky lead him to the elevator and got them to the top floor. The apartment complex isn't the newest or fanciest, but it's a nice place. The space Bucky showed Steve into is a little messy, but a decent size. It was two bedroom, one bath, a small kitchen, and cozy little living room with a nice TV. 

"Bedroom over there is a guest room. Err, lemme just check the bathroom first so there ain't any tampons or shit layin' about." Bucky knew that grossed some guys out, even when unused, and he didn't want Steve to feel uncomfortable.

"What's a tampon?" asked Steve curiously, not knowing how awkward of a question that was. Tampons had been released in 1929. At the time reproductive health wasn't talked about, even if his mom could've afforded them, so Steve had no idea. 

"Uh, like a pad, but it kind of goes up... you know, I don't really know the specifics, it's for periods, stops the blood." Bucky explains, scratching the back of his neck. Then he slips off and puts them away in the cabinet. 

Steve looked around the apartment, amazed Bucky had something of this size. "I hope you don't take this the wrong way but...are you rich?" He called after Bucky in a voice just loud enough to be heard. He couldn't imagine anyone having a place like this. He was glossing over what he had just been told about tampons, and pretending he didn't hear it, because it sounded painful and he didn't like the idea of a woman being in pain. Yes yes, Steve still had a few sexist tendencies, all of which were held in good faith.

Bucky chuckled lightly as he came back and shook his head. "Nah, Gramps, but the Great Depression's over. I make a decent wage in the garage, well... now being your guide I suppose."

"Gramps?" he actually smiled. "I guess that's appropriate now. So...most people have places like this?" he asked, curious.

"Sometimes smaller, or bigger... there are all kinds of apartments. My folks live in a house with my siblings. I moved out to give ‘em more space. Living on my own ain't too bad either." Bucky put stuff into the fridge for tomorrow's breakfast. "Hey, what ya favorite eatin' out food? I figure we'll order in this time. Feelin’ lazy."

Steve paled "You don't need to do that!" he protested. The cost of ordering in would've been a month's wages, and he couldn't grasp the idea that that wasn't the case anymore. He took a deep breath and said "I'm sure we can make food here...right? I'm alright at cooking, I think."

"Stevie, orderin' in ain’t too bad. Also," Bucky pulled out a card' "SHIELD gave us a card for buying food. Meanin' none of us are payin' anyway." It was only to be used for food, because apparently the Captain needed a lot of food. "So, really. What ya favorite food?"

"Um..." Steve actually had to take a second to collect himself. This was bizarre. Since when was ordering in cheap? "I...like Thai food?" he said, almost like a question. "I've only had it two times, but I remember it being really good." He liked spicy foods, personally.

Bucky nods approving. He also liked Thai food! He grabbed a menu from the kitchen counter and handed it over to Steve "Pick whatever ya want. They have a sushi part too... did you guys even have sushi back in ancient days?"

"Er, not that we can afford. Honestly, I don't remember the last time I ordered..." He stared blankly at the prices, completely speechless. "How...do people afford this?" he asked hollowly.

"Inflation." Bucky reminded Steve with a laugh. "People make more money, stuff gets more expensive. Ignore the price list, I know three dishes I want and I am gonna get'em all." He says with a huge grin. He knew Steve ate a lot and didn't want the blond to decide for one thing and then be hungry three seconds later. Maybe ordering three things might prompt Steve to get more too!

Steve was still uneasy about the money, but he knew he'd have to learn to deal with it if he was going to live in this era. He told Bucky what he wanted (he stuck with two dishes) and tried to do mental math about how much this would run them.

Bucky ordered their food (adding a third plate of spring rolls for Steve) and then motions for Steve to sit down on the couch if he wanted. "I am supposed to show ya a whole list'o things, but to be honest, I think today could be a pretty chill kinda day because I've already propped ya up with a ton of information."

Steve sat down. Everything seemed to surprise him, from the prices to the softness of the couch. His eyes skimmed the room, and he seemed to be deciding all the questions he wanted to ask. He sat there longer than he needed to, but he was deep in thought. Finally, he came up with what he’d been wanting to say. "I'm sorry you got in trouble in the first place. For telling me, I mean."

"Oh, s'no problem. I had only been hired like a day." Bucky says with a cheeky little smile. "M'sorry they tried to fuck ya over in the first place. Can't be easy to... wake up to all this."

"It's not" admitted Steve "Part of me wishes they'd left me in the ice. The last thing I remember is impacting the water, but...well." He shook his head. "I'm here, and that's the bottom line. And you've changed what my life would be, much for the better." He smiled gratefully at the other. And then... "You have a nice smile," he commented. He couldn't remember the last time he saw anyone smile like that.

Bucky smiled, then honest to god blushes like a five-year-old. But Captain America had just fucking told him he had a nice smile! "I.. ah, thank you." He blabbered a little. "You do to, uh, have a nice smile and eyes. I mean you have eyes... that are nice.. uh, I'll go over there now before I say anything more stupid."

Steve actually went cherry red. It was just...different. He'd had women fawn over him before because of what he was; he'd heard them say every compliment in the book. But a man saying he had a nice smile? Nice eyes? That was DEFINITELY different. "Do you want any water?" he asked, standing up. He needed to move, and anyway, he didn't want Bucky to feel obligated to walk away.

"Ah, sure! And that's the food, I'll get the food. Could ya get the forks and knives? We can eat in front'o the TV." Bucky says when the door buzzes and Bucky quickly dashes off to get the food and pay the guy with a nice tip, seeing how many stairs and how much food it was. 

"Y've got to taste the sushi though." Bucky says, having managed to get his blush under control finally. "Not for everyone, but I fuckin' love it. My mama says it's vile to eat raw fish, but apparently my nana loves it. Hey! Can I ask ya somethin." Bucky asks as he comes back.

"Raw fish" muttered Steve, who was thinking how gross that sounded but decided to taste it anyway. He came back balancing two glasses of full water in one hand, and holding silverware in the other. He set it deftly out on the table; it was easy enough, his hands were pretty big. "Ask away" he said, clearly enough for Bucky to hear. Damn, the food smelled good.

Bucky unpacked all the food boxes and begun opening them up so they could see what was in them. It all smelled extremely good and Bucky just sighed happily about it. 

"So, back in ya old timey days at the dark ages. Did ya go to School with a certain Harold Barnes? Like, y'probably didn' know him too much, but he claim ya had math together an' were best friends. We don' really believe him because he's old and last week he was sure a pink cat was stealin' his cheese..."

Steve stopped dead, and slowly sat down. He seemed to be lost in memories, and looked down at his hands. "Um...Harold Barnes and I were best friends when we were kids" he admitted. "I used to be sick 24/7, and one day I sort of...dropped into a coma. Apparently he visited me every day, but when I woke up...I guess it had been a few weeks...he'd been forced to move with his family. We were 15." He shook his head and looked over at Bucky. "He's still alive?" he asked hollowly.

"Yeah, he's old, but y'know, he and nana live on their own, an’ still take walks every day... unless it's rainin'. We could visit them some day if ya wanna. Don' be offended if he calls ya the wrong name though, he thinks a lot." Bucky's family were in perfect health. His grandparents were both spry as a spring twig, even if his grandfather came up with weird things. He had apparently been a little odd all his life. Bucky got his ADHD from Harold.

Steve didn't seem able to process properly. He just sat in silence, staring blankly at the food. He didn't cry; he didn't even move. He was trying to figure out what to do with his hands, what to think. He'd never heard from Harold again; there hadn't been a way. Sending mail was expensive, and Harold's family had used all their savings to find a better life outside of New York. Steve didn't even know where he was.

Bucky gently put his hand at Steve's leg when he suddenly seemed 500 miles away. "Hey... Steve? Y'still with me pal?" He asked gently, trying not to spook him.

Steve's fingers automatically slid over Bucky's hand and laced with his. He didn't seem aware of what he was doing, because no, he wasn't with Bucky. He was far away, remembering playing with Harold so many decades ago. It took him a few minutes to snap out of it, and when he did he looked over at Bucky. There were still no tears in his eyes; Captain America didn't cry. But he looked gratefully at Bucky. "I'd like to see him at some point." he said clearly.

"Hey, welcome back there." Bucky says with a smile, having held onto Steve's hand for as long as he'd needed. He'd be patient, one soldier to another, because he’d figured Steve would have episodes like that. All you could do was give him time. "I'm sure he'd like that." Bucky said with a smile. He chuckled lightly and released Steve’s hand, pushing at Steve's arm playfully. Holy fucking hell those biceps. "Food! Lets see if ya like future food."

Steve hadn’t realized they were holding hands and blinked in surprise, clearing his throat. "Sure thing" He said. Really, the food smelled amazing. He took a tentative bite, and immediately relaxed. It was SO GOOD, and he hadn’t eaten in the past three days. He hadn't wanted to; he was so damn focused on everything else. He looked over at Bucky and nodded approvingly.

Bucky grinned widely and dug into his own food, eagerly starting with the sushi. "Okay, you have to taste this. Wait, do a California roll, they're the best." Bucky says, passing a roll over to Steve's box and grinning widely. “Watch it though, wasabi is spicy as shit, but s'delicious as fuck."

Steve would've protested the language in public, or in front of others. Now, however, he popped the roll into his mouth, definitely curious. It was AMAZING, but Bucky was right...very spicy. Still, he loved it, and he nodded approvingly. "This is great!" he commented, a hand held politely over his mouth.

"Yes! Cappy loves the sushi!" Bucky cheers as if he'd won some kind of victory. Truth be told, Bucky was just a cheerful person when he was with friends and people that he liked. Steve might not be a friend yet, but Bucky hoped maybe they would be because they got along pretty great. "When I was a kid, I couldn' stand sushi." Bucky admitted with a laugh and a shake of his head. "Not until I was like sixteen."

"What changed at sixteen?" he asked, now enjoying his pad thai. He seemed to be very polite; careful not to make a mess, covering his mouth with his hand when he spoke, and generally paying a lot of attention to the other.

Bucky was not so polite, he just enjoyed his food in a kind of ‘Joey from FRIENDS’ manner. Steve would just have to live. 

"I dunno! My sister ordered sushi an’ I tasted an' liked it." He replied cheerfully "But then again, I pretty much ate anythin’... and all the time. Might even compete with you an’ I ain't much of a super soldier." He teases playfully.

"Not so sure. Hardly eating in three days, plus a few decades before that, works up an appetite" He winked, and grinned at the other. It was his first real, proper sign of humor with Bucky.

Bucky snorted amused and shook his head. "So ya do have a sense of humor, started to worry there for a moment." He teased, and then happily stuffs another sushi roll in his mouth. "So, not eatin' a lot back at the S.H.I.E.L.D base, huh? Won't blame ya y'kno, the food there looked kinda crappy." Bucky loved food, meaning good food, not hospital crap or military rations.

"It wasn't so much the food; I'm adjusted to military food, and nothing in my day was as good as this anyway. But in my defense, I had just woken up realizing I'd been down for 70 years. It tends to rob you of your interest in food."

"True enough. Can't say I relate, but I can say I didn' feel much like eatin’ either after I woke up one arm less." It had taken Bucky a really long time to actually get back to himself after that.  
"But my prosthetic ain't half bad. Losin' so much time must be worse." Once, when Bucky had parked in the handicap spot and a woman had yelled at him to leave it for people who were really handicapped, Bucky had thrown his arm at her and told her to fuck off.

Steve hummed. "It's funny, I don't really feel older...just less experienced. Like I should know what's happening around me, knowing it's been 70 years, but I have no idea. Everything's a mystery here. I have no idea what I'm going to-"

There was a sharp knock at the door, and immediately Steve was up.

Bucky put his food down with a little sigh, then heads over to the door, checking the peephole before actually pulling the door open.

It was a SHIELD agent, Phil Coulson. "Agent Barnes, I need a word with Captain Rogers."  
Steve stood with his arms folded. He wasn't going to say anything. He was fine to talk to this guy, but he wasn't going to invite someone else into Bucky's home.

Bucky recognized Phil and easily pushed the door open to let the guy in. "Cap, y've got a friend who wanna play." Bucky says with a little grin, winking at Steve before heading into the kitchen to give them... well, almost privacy.

Steve crossed his arms as he looked at the agent. "What can I do for you?" he asked, trying not to be too annoyed that his evening had been interrupted.  
Phil knew by now that Bucky would've swept for bugs, so he could speak freely. "How're you feeling?" he asked, almost gently.

Steve hesitated. "It's overwhelming" he said finally. "There's a lot to get used to."

"Well" said Phil. "I brought you something" He took a duffel bag off his shoulder and said "Agent Barnes! I've got a bag here, feel free to sweep for bugs." There weren't any. This came directly from Coulson. "I hope this helps, but I need to be going before they figure out I'm gone."  
And with that, the agent left.

"Will do!" Bucky called back, poking his head out and smiling at Steve. "Y'might wanna thank him. He was actually one of the nice ones who agreed with me that y'should know at once." Bucky was pretty sure that all the mistakes in the room had been deliberate mistakes made by Phil. He wasn't a bad guy, or at least Bucky only got good vibes from him.

Steve sighed "I will, next time I see him, depending on if there's any plants in this bag."

Bucky snorted “Doubt there will be. Phil’s got some kinda celebrity crush on ya. Do ya want me to swipe it? I am pretty damn good at it. Part of my thing in the army." He explained to Steve. Which is how he knew there weren't any bugs in his apartment.

"I'd appreciate it" he responded. "I'm not so...he has a crush on me?" he suddenly processed and looked surprised. He stared at Bucky in confusion. "That agent...has a crush on me?" His ears were reddening in combined embarrassment and confusion.

"Celebrity crush, yeah. He got a card collection an' everything." Bucky crouched down and searched the bag. In the end, there aren't any, and Bucky simply hands the bag over to Steve with a smile. "I think ya owe Phil a thanks." He declared playfully.

Steve was looking kind of...blankly at Bucky. He snapped out of it and accepted the bag, sitting on the couch and looking inside. "There're cards?" he asked "Like...baseball cards?" He pulled out a large box, and opened it. A pair of brand new red Converse All-Stars were inside. "Woah..."

"Yeah, Captain America tradin’ cards, my parents used to collect them, all the kids did for a while when movies and comics were popular. There are still some movies, a few games, but they ain't too popular anymore." Maybe that would change now. Bucky wasn’t really paying attention to the gift; he was back to eating.

Steve seemed to have trouble focusing as he turned the shoes over in his hands. "You're right" he said "I do owe him a thank you. A big one. I never told anybody I wanted these shoes...not even Harold. It must've been a guess. These were hugely expensive when I was a kid; this incredible basketball player, Chuck Taylor, made them famous, These were his signature shoes."

Bucky leaned closer, looking at the shoes and whistling a little. They definitely weren’t knock-offs "Still expensive, trust me, Phil wanna be ya buddy." Bucky said with a little grin. "Wait, ya always wanted Converse? That's fuckin' adorable Stevie."

"Everyone my age wanted Converse" He laughed. They really were beautiful shoes. "I owe him a few thank you's for these." Then he registered that he'd just been called adorable, and went bright red. He had no idea how to respond to praise from other men. When Steve was a kid, it was pretty much all he wanted; to be noticed, for someone to pay attention to him. Yeah, women were pretty, and when the serum hit he got plenty of attention. But he had no experience with men doing more than admiring him as Captain America. He'd never been called 'adorable' or anything from a guy; it was unheard of. How did he respond? His mind was blank.

Bucky laughs, because honestly, that was still accurate, everyone kind of wanted to own a pair of converse these days too. Bucky had two pairs, one black pair and one navy blue pair.  
But Steve seem to suffer some kind of inner turmoil, Bucky isn't sure why, but it's possible it is because of the adorable comment and now Steve's brain was drawing blanks. "A'right Gramps, if ya don't snap outta it, I am gonna eat ya spring rolls and not let ya enjoy'em." Bucky teases playfully.

Steve actually took a minute to pull out of his own head, and when he did he actually blushed. He was confused. Confused by all the things he was feeling, by every moment that passed where this man wasn't repulsed by praising him. It just...wasn't a thing. And Steve had spent his life ashamed of his identity, even if he would fight like hell for anyone else. Now he had to adjust to it being allowed. To being beside someone who was similar to him. "Er...sorry" he mumbled, taking a bite of a spring roll for something to do.

Bucky smiled, and they spend the rest of the evening just hanging out, light chatting, watching some movies, stuff like that. Bucky even got Steve hooked on watching FRIENDS with him. 

That night Steve sat in silence in the guest room, avoiding the bed. In the end, he dragged the blanket and pillow to the floor to sleep. He closed his eyes. It was much better than how soft everything was. Finally, he got a few hours of sleep.

Unfortunately, he woke up screaming.

He heard a thud and the sound of running footsteps, and a pounding on his door. “CAP! Cap, you okay?! I’m comin’ in” The door was opened forcefully and there was Bucky in the doorway. “Oh shit” he whispered “You okay?”

Steve became aware that he probably looked like death. “Just a nightmare” He mumbled. 

“A’right. Want me to stay for a while?” Bucky was still in the doorway, looking at him with compassion all over his face.

Steve nodded, and Bucky came in and sat beside him. He ran his hand up and down Steve’s back, and they sat there for a while. Steve didn’t cry. He refused. He did lean into Bucky, and murmured over and over "Thank you, Bucky. Thank you..."


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Bucky are recruited for their first mission together. They both have a little bit of a run-in with Tony Stark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew! This has been a TON of fun! Hoping to crank out some longer chapters on most of my fics today! Much love to all of you!

The following few days are pretty chill. Bucky spent them just slowly easing Steve into... well, nowadays. Steve often slept on the floor, or sometimes the couch. He found comfort in...discomfort. He woke up screaming almost every night. It got to the point that Bucky knew just about the time and was waiting outside the door with a glass of water and an extra blanket. Steve appreciated this, but they never talked, and they never mentioned it the next morning. Last night had been such a night. Now, they were at the gym, with Bucky trying to keep up with Steve, when Fury showed up. 

“What can I do for you?” asked Steve, who wasn’t even sweating. He’d NEEDED this workout, he NEEDED to get this energy and tension out.

“Captain America is needed” responded Fury, trumping Steve's desire for some stress relief. “We’ll brief you on the way.”

Bucky didn’t approve for even a second. People didn't see, or rather, chose not to see...but Bucky was convinced that Steve suffered some pretty severe depression, anxiety, and PTSD. At least when they were alone, Steve seemed to be able to... somewhat relax and sometimes even smile genuinely. At night it was another story, of course, but Bucky was there for him regardless.

Steve, however, never turned down a mission, even at his own expense. But here was the problem: He trusted these people VERY little, and wanted details of the mission before he accepted it.

"What's going on? And who are we up against?" he asked, arms folded. He would take it, but he wanted to be sure he wasn't fighting for the wrong reasons. He still wasn't convinced S.H.I.E.L.D. was the way to go, despite their claims. That's what happened when you were woken up with lies.

The file was dropped on one of the benches and Bucky frowned a little, picking it up. He thumbed through it, feeling a dawning sense of dread. He wasn't stopped, so he assumed he was allowed; either that, or Fury knew Bucky followed Steve pretty much anywhere. "Y're jokin... right?" Bucky asked, seeing the Tesseract. He knew that story, only because he had been allowed to read Steve's file. He hands the bundle of papers over to Steve. 

"Time and place is in there. Agent Barnes, I suggest you skip this one." Fury said, before leaving them alone.

Steve’s shoulders stiffened as he too read the file. He flipped through it, skimming the perfect typing, lingering on the pictures. "They took it out of the ocean" he said hollowly. "Well. Good to know the human race maintained a sense of stupidity while I was gone. That's...some sure footing for me." he tossed the file aside, and turned to Bucky. "Can we trust them not to do something stupid with the Tessaract?" he asked him.

Because honestly, there was one person he trusted right now, and that was Bucky Barnes. Who else could he trust? They'd all played a hand in lying to him EXCEPT Bucky. And now they had let a vastly powerful weapon go missing. It was infuriating.

"No." Bucky replied with a shrug, because he didn't trust big secret organizations. "But... they'll probably do less damage with it than this Loki guy. I mean, he seems a lot more doom'n gloom." If they had to choose, S.H.I.E.L.D. was probably the better of two devils. "We could grab it, then toss it back into the ocean." Bucky suggests with a little shrug.

"They'd just scoop it out again" said Steve. "And frankly, the fact that they let it go in the first place tells me how well they'd take care of it" He looked at Bucky. "I'm not asking you to come." he said firmly.

"But ya ain't tellin me I can't either. I've got ya six cap'n." Sure, his left arm was a bad prosthetic, but he knew how to handle a rifle and how to manage in a fight. He'd have Steve's back, even if he had to leave the heavy lifting to Steve.

When they were back with Fury, Steve spoke. "I need my uniform back" he stipulated "And he gets whatever he needs too. But this isn't the kind of thing two people go into alone. I'll need a team, and I want to talk to every one of them before we go anywhere. The last thing I need is someone who isn't him with a rifle" He indicated Bucky.

"You will meet your team on our way there. Agent Coulson will make sure you get to the right place, along with your teammates dossiers." Says Fury, because they were on a tight schedule, they couldn't really have a big team meeting before.

Steve sighed "Fine. If Coulson's in charge, I can work with that." He turned to his friend. "Ready, Buck?" he asked, not hesitating in the nickname. What was the point in balking? Bucky was the person he was most comfortable with.

"Yep! Provided they’ve got a rifle f’r me there." Which Fury assured him there was. 

Phil picks them up in a quinjet so fucking modern that even Bucky was a little lost and amazed. It was so strange to be picked up on top of a gym by a fucking jet. As they sat inside, Bucky just grins while Phil is stared at Steve. Steve was looking through the files on the other members, unaware of the looks he was getting. If anyone ever wanted a definition of puppy eyes, this could be a good case.

Steve was flipping through the files, and paused on one. Setting the others side, he looked closer. "Is this Howard Stark's son?" he asked in amazement. He held it up to Coulson; catching his eye, he went red at the look and repeated his question.

"Tony Stark, yes." Says Phil, fumbling a little over his words. Bucky could understand it though; he'd been a bit starstruck about Steve when they first met too. Well, he was still sometimes was struck with awe, but it was more due to how soft and kind Steve was than being Captain America.

Steve looked down at the file. "They look exactly the same." He commented. Married to Pepper Potts for two years, daughter on the way. Jesus, that was just another reason to fight harder.  
Steve got to the next file. He saw immediately that it was Bucky's, and refused to read it. He put it down, face down, on top of Tony's file and moved on to the next one.

Bucky smiles a little and moves over to sit beside Steve "Y'can check it out if ya wanna Cap." Bucky had seen Steve's, so Bucky wasn't going to tell him no even if he had wanted to. "It's gonna tell ya I was in a special ops squad, that I did a lot o'dirty fightin’. But also that I'm the best sniper in the army...oh an' that I am an honorary discharge due to losin' a limb at my last mission."

Steve looked at Bucky and shook his head. "I'm not reading your file. I don't know them." he indicated the other files, and then looked at Bucky earnestly. "I know you as well as I need to. I'm not reading it." He looked fondly at Bucky, just for a moment, before returning to a file on Natasha Romanoff. "She's almost as old as I am," he commented in confusion.

That...meant a whole lot and now Bucky was blushing. Damn, there was just something about Steve and making him blush. "Thanks." Bucky mumbles while trying not to die of all the emotions he was feeling. Then he registered the question, but Coulson beat him to the answer.

"Agent Romanoff, yes. She has a serum, somewhat like yours." Coulson replied with a nod. "She was part of the Russian Black Widow project."

"I wish I could say I know what that is" he responded to Coulson, "But...thank you. It's good information that she's experienced." Russia. They must still be allies. Steve's hand rested naturally on Bucky's knee as he flipped through the files. Partially to remind himself that someone he knew was here. Partially to ensure that Bucky was safe in this damn plane. "What about this one?" he asked, "Sam Wilson, it says he was a pilot."

"Oh, I know him!" Bucky exclaimed, to the surprise of both Steve and Phil it seemed. "And he's not really a pilot... of a plane. He has these wings. I met him a few times!" Sam had been someone his squad had worked with and they had gotten friends...ish. Bucky and Sam couldn't stop messing with each other, but more in the brotherly kind of way.

"Wings?" asked Steve, not bothering to disguise his surprise. "He has...actual wings?" He was absolutely amazed. Had advancements been made that far? It was so weird to think of. "I take it he's trustworthy?" Steve was realizing that he could look through these files all he wanted, but he wasn't going to get a look at their character until it was too late. 

"I mean, metal wings, not angel kind of feather wings." It was like a suit kind of deal, but they were still neat. "He probably has pineapple on his pizzas, but yeah, yeah, seem like a good guy." Bucky says with a little nod. It wasn't as if they had majorly bonded or anything like that, but Sam seemed like a nice guy. 

Steve smiled appreciatively at Bucky, before looking directly at Coulson and asking "Opinions on the team that was picked out? Did you do this, or have a say in it?"

"I had a say in it. The team was put together by Fury with the help of Agent Romanoff. We have been assembling this team for quite a while."

"I trust it more for your sake than Fury's." He really didn't think much of Fury. The guy was in charge of a group that had tried to pull the wool over his eyes. He stood and moved to the front to look out. He'd not been on an active plane in 70 years. He let out a slow breath, and tried not to get too lost in memories.

Bucky watched Steve as he headed to the front of the plane. They couldn't be far now considering how long they’d been flying. "Are we there soon?" He asked Phil, letting Steve deal with his own emotions for now.

Phil was watching Steve with some concern. It hadn't occurred to him that the last time Steve remembered being on the plane, he'd crashed. "Not far at all" he responded, "We're meeting with the team at a small compound, away from the city for everyone's sake."

Bucky nodded, then got up and walked over to Steve. He had pulled Steve out of a few of these before. Even after Steve's apartment had gotten done, Steve had stayed at Bucky's. Bucky liked the company, and Steve seemed to as well.

"Hey, Stevie, ya with us buddy?" Asks Bucky calmly, gently bumping his shoulder against Steve's to just... show he was there, standing close.

Steve didn't immediately look at him. He was considering what it'd be like to crash now and wake up in 70 more years without his friend. He put his hand very slightly out, as though asking Bucky to hold it. He was afraid, in the back of his head, that Phil would say something. That despite Bucky's reassurance, there would be consequences. He didn't speak.

Bucky took Steve's hand, lacing their fingers to show he really was there. Luckily Steve was on his right side or he wouldn't have been able to properly do that. "M'here buddy." 

Phil doesn't judge, though his inner fanboy is practically screaming in his head over being allowed to see this. It was something that can't be described as anything other than a very intimate moment between the two. He was wondering just how close they’d gotten.

At some point, Steve seemed to wake up from a daze, and squeezed Bucky's hand slightly before letting it go and returning to the files. The squeeze was a thank you; a 'hello, I'm back' and a sign that he was okay. He sat down and picked up Natasha Romanoff's file again. Since she'd helped assemble the team, he wanted to know more.

Bucky had just given a little nod to let Steve know he had understood. They didn't really need words; gestures were more than enough. Hell, Bucky sure as fuck didn't want to talk when he spaced like that, but it was always nice knowing that someone was having your back anyway.  
Bucky was admittedly a bit concerned about the mission though; it really was a heroing kinda deal, and the team was pretty much a bunch of superhumans. But Bucky had absolutely no power at all. He was really just hoping to keep Steve's back and not to be in the way too much.

Steve wasn't thinking about that; he had concerns for all of the team, though Bucky most, and it wasn't because of his lack of powers. It was because Bucky meant the most to him. When the plane started to go down was when he clammed up for good. He did as was sensible and clipped himself in, and sat stiff as a board while he waited for it to touch down. As soon as the aircraft was still, he unbuckled, picked up his shield, and waited. Waited for both Coulson and Bucky to get off first, because in reality, his team came first. Every single time.

Bucky grabbed his rifle and soon followed Coulson out. He'd been given his old outfit, black cargo pants with knee protection, his black leather jacket that had all the space for weapons, ghe sleeve reattached and the whole thing cleaned up.

He kept track of Steve, making sure the blonde kept up, and then looked around curiously at the base. It seemed neat enough, and Bucky wondered where exactly they were.

Steve followed Coulson inside. Immediately he felt eyes on him, which he did his best to ignore. He could tell everyone but the man he recognized as a Stark were looking to him, and that they had all just stopped talking. He didn't look at anyone in particular as he said "Steve Rogers. Anyone calls me Captain America, they can expect that I'll only begrudgingly have their back. Is everyone here?"

Natasha Romanoff, Sam Wilson, Tony Stark, Bruce Banner, and a few others sat watching. Tony spoke up. "How about Capscicle?" he asked with a sense of entitled curiosity.

"Depends on how well you do your job, and how quickly we get the Tesseract back" he responded, feeling a curling frustration in his gut. He could already tell he was going to have trouble with Stark.

Sam looked as surprised as Bucky had sounded earlier to see him and Bucky just gave up a little shrug at the questioning look. Really, Steve had taken a knife to a gunfight by bringing Bucky. Still, the soldier knew a well placed knife could do a real damage if allowed. Either way, Bucky pops down on a chair beside Steve and leaned back, mostly planning on just listening and observing.  
"You are the best suited for the Avengers project." Said Fury, coming out from a dark corner and promptly Bucky to curse loudly.

"Gee, do ya really just get paid to lurk in dark corners an' come out when most dramatical or somethin'?" Grumbles Bucky as he sends a look at Fury.

Steve too had flinched; you had to be paying attention to see it, but he had. He was in his uniform, holding his shield, and still felt totally unprepared for someone to just come out like that.  
"I'd appreciate it if we stopped the mysteries, the lies, and the dancing around the subject. Tell us exactly what we're doing, and I want all of them to know exactly what we're going after. You can tell them nicely, or I'll give them the truth. The dirtier, real version. Your call Director."

And so, the whole presentation on the Tesseract began, energy to electricity and so on. Bucky was lost pretty much at once. He didn't know shit about this and when they brought up gamma radiation, he just kind of stopped listening. He just needed a target, someone he could shoot at and keep off Steve's back. 

What he did hear was that big burly long-haired blonde guy was brother to the guy with the cube, though adopted, and as Bucky understood it, they were some kind of gods. He really was over his head.

They were all chatting when Tony suddenly was on his left, checking out his arm, Bucky having to stop the initial urge to punch the guy.

Steve turned to watch. Catching the expression on Bucky's face, he said firmly "Stark. A word?"

Natasha could tell these two were going to have trouble and watched curiously. Clint had his hand on her leg, drumming his fingers. Like Bucky, he just wanted someone to arrow. He asked a question to Fury that Steve wasn't paying much attention to.

"You know, I think that was three words actually." Says Tony, glancing up from the quite frankly, terrible prosthetic. He could make something ten times as good if he was given the chance.

"I get the impression you're not great with body language. Let me spell this out for you: Don't touch his arm. Listen to the briefing. This isn't show-and-tell, we have a massive breach on our hands and if you're as involved as Howard, you know how dangerous this thing is."

"You know, that prosthetic sucks, bet it's even painful. I bet I could make a much better one." Said Tony in reply to that, making Nat sigh across the table. 

"Stark, priorities. Look at his arm after the mission. We stop Loki before he turns the world to ash." Black Widow was getting annoyed at Tony.

"Thank you" said Steve appreciatively to Natasha, before returning to the briefing. He looked at Bucky now and then; checking on him, making sure he was okay. He hated the look of discomfort he'd caught on his friend's face.

Bucky really only needed targets, and while he would be eager for a better prosthetic, that wasn’t the point right now. Also, he needed Stark to not touch him when he wasn’t expecting it.

Soon enough they have a target and a location: Loki Laufeyson in Germany. Bucky could handle that. In fact, he was eager to be back on missions again.

Steve hated it. Hated the idea of getting back in a plane. Especially with people he didn't know, and two he actually cared about. But as they trooped on board, Steve didn't argue or even hesitate. It wasn't in his nature, especially not in front of people. He stood as the plane took off; wouldn't sit, wouldn't buckle in. Just stood and looked blankly at the wall. Eventually, he spoke. "Hydra." he said, half a question, half a statement.

"Taken down. Mrs. Carter founded S.H.I.E.L.D. to topple the last of it." Said Natasha, being the only one to actually know details about these things. "They have a sister organization, Red Room. Mostly wiped out."

"Thank you, Agent Romanoff." he replied politely. Peggy Carter. He knew her fairly well, more tangentially than anything. They had been friends in a way, but were so far from one another physically that there was no sense of a bond. He'd liked her; she was kind. And tough. But other than that? Nothing.

Steve eventually went over to Bucky and sat beside him. "Promise me something." It was an order and a request, somehow at the same time. "If you're at risk, you go. No matter what, you get out of there. I need you to do that for me." He looked over at his friend.

Tony was listening, curious, gathering information.

Bucky looked at Steve, then smiled a little and put his hand on Steve's knee gently. "Don' worry 'bout me cap'n. I ain't gonna do something foolish. I'll leave that to you people." Honestly, he was pretty sure he would be the best team player if he laid on the roof with his scope in case things went dirty. He didn't need Steve to worry about him getting hurt and therefore be sloppy with his own safety.

Steve lay a hand on Bucky's knee, just for a moment. He smiled, and stood again. The smile dropped as soon as he turned to face the plane, and stepped toward the cockpit to have a word with Clint Barton.

Tony took Steve's spot beside Bucky. "Sooooo..." He smirked at the sniper.

"I have a confirmed kill at six hundred meters which should be practically impossible. Y'really sure y'wanna continue?" Bucky asked, looking at Tony sharply. He and Steve were friends, soldiers who understood each other, nothing more, even if it might seem that way to someone like Tony.

Tony held up his hands and said "Just...keep in mind that whatever he has in his head, it's gonna stay locked in there. According to my old man, he talks about as much as a deaf mute and when he does, he says what's on his mind." Tony stood up. "He also grew up when being gay was punishable by prison time, so I wouldn't-"

"Would you really like to finish that sentence?" Steve could hear every word from across the plane, as could most of the superhumans. Steve decided he didn't like Tony. Not even a little.

"Seem to talk plenty enough to me. Maybe no one bothered to be his friend before." Is the only thing Bucky replied to that. 

Bucky knew Steve wasn't the easiest person. After all, he’d grown up in a different time! But Bucky was actually making progress with Steve. They were friends and Steve told him things when it suited him.

Tony held up his hands and said "No offense, just talkin' here." He got up and went to check one of the monitors.

The rest of the flight passed in silence except for some questions about the mission. When they arrived, Steve was last off again. To Tony, it looked like he didn't want to step into the line of fire. Everyone else was solidly aware that it was Steve's instinct to make sure they all got off the plane safely.

Bucky pulled his hair up in a tight bun to keep it out of his face. He waited for Steve once he was on the ground and smiled softly when the captain joined them. "Y'aright there pal?" Bucky asks quietly, just between the two of them.

"I'm just fine, Buck." he responded with a nod. He eyed Tony with some unknown expression on his face, before they all set off together. Once they were near enough, Steve started setting up the team. He sent Bucky and Clint to opposite sides of where the target was, on high vantage points. Natasha, Steve asked to walk with him. He sent Tony (who amazingly didn't argue) and Sam to fly high, and prepare to dive at Steve's call. Coulson and Bruce were to stay on the transport unless asked for.

Bucky simply nodded at his orders, checked his earpiece a last time, then dashed off quickly to get onto place with his rifle. 

Steve watched him go with fear in his heart, and new right then for certain that he would die for James Buchanan Barnes.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The mission goes in a strange direction, followed by a terrible one. Loki is revealed to be a POW. Everyone realizes something important about Steve.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A pretty long chapter this time guys, so buckle in! Thank you all so much for kudos and comments!

The mission wasn’t what you’d call ‘easy’. Loki put up a hell of a fight, and they all had an issue protecting civilians. Steve, however, noticed something odd about Loki’s eyes, and the way his expression seemed forever locked into a sneer...and not a natural one. “Don’t shoot” he ordered as he fought. “Something’s wrong!” He hit Loki hard in the side of the head, and the icey blue eyes flickered briefly to green. That was...basically that. For now. Loki was taken into custody by his brother, and before they knew it, they're packed in the transport to get back to the base. Bucky couldn't take his eyes off of Loki. There was something...different. Steve was right. This wasn’t your run of the mill bad guy.

Outwardly, Steve didn't seem too worried about anyone but Loki. In reality, he stayed constantly aware of his team. Now and then he would move among them; laying a hand on Natasha's arm, giving Clint a look, nodding to Tony, lingering near Bruce, and speaking quietly to Bucky. Coulson actually got the longest amount of time with Steve, funnily enough. Steve knew how vulnerable the agent was. 

“Thank you” said Steve quietly. He was sitting beside Coulson, elbows propped on his knees as he looked down at his folded hands.

“For what?” asked Coulson in confusion.

“For messing up that room. Giving me those shoes. Making sure Bucky was there with me.” He smiled a little. “I know that was you. I know you chose him. I know you screwed up the room so I would know the truth sooner. I heard you put your career on the line to tell the director to be honest with me, and when he wasn’t, you worked hard to do it yourself.” He cleared his throat “I’m also sorry. I yelled at the team, and in the process to make a point, I told them to fire you. I’m so sorry, and I’m so glad they didn’t.”

Coulson was sitting there, pretty much in shock. He didn’t immediately respond. “I wanted those shoes when I was a kid. I...couldn’t get them. My family had nothing. My mom was alone. My dad...was a bastard. He left us for some pretty housewife because my mom had the figure all moms get when they carry two kids. We were alone, and I worked from the time I was 13. When I got a job at the academy doing filing, the station chief saw something in me. He told me I wasn’t perfect, but I was a good man.” He looked over at Steve. “It was the first time someone had said something like that to me. My mom tried but she couldn’t quite…” He shook his head. “I know this is hard for you. I can’t imagine what it’d be like to wake up feeling...so alone. But I knew James Barnes was a good man. And I knew you two would find that in each other. I also couldn’t let them push you so far by lying to you. Not even for a minute. As for telling them to fire me…” He patted Steve’s knee. “There is no way you could have known. Don’t beat yourself up more than you already have. You deserve better than that.”

Steve looked over at him now. “You are a good man, Phil. You really are.”

He stood, and said flatly to everyone "That was too easy."

Nobody spoke, but the agreement was clear among all of them. Nobody felt this was normal; a guy with that much power should’ve been a problem from the start. More people would, logically speaking, have been hurt. Steve went back to sit beside Bucky. “Are you alright?” he asked softly.

“M’fine, Stevie. You?” Bucky looked with surprising tenderness at his friend. He tilted his head “s’okay to not be.”

“I’ll live” said Steve clearly. “I’m glad you’re safe. I’m glad you weren’t in the thick of it. I can’t lose you, Bucky. I just can’t.” He put his hand on Bucky’s lower back, just to be able to touch him. To be able to be close. There wasn’t much more to say, not when they had so many people so close to them. He ended up sitting beside Bucky the rest of the flight. Steve was tired. He barely slept, and ate just enough to get by. He always felt a little bit lost...unless he was beside Bucky. Bucky was his compass, his guiding light. He was everything to Steve, especially now. There was faith there that couldn’t be broken, and Steve knew that Bucky would never challenge that. He trusted Bucky with his life.

It wasn't until they were back at the compound and Loki was behind a glass barrier that, for Bucky, it clicked. He recognized this behavior...that look and those mannerisms. "Can I speak to 'im? I uh... have a feelin’." Bucky said clearly, looking at Steve with some concern. "An’... stay away from the blue thing, got a feelin’ about that too."

Steve looked at his friend for a long moment. He knew he needed to give Bucky a chance at this. He lay a hand on his friend's shoulder. "If you need anything, call, and I'll be in right away." Steve left with a lot of trepidation. He didn’t trust Loki, and part of him wondered if saving him had been the right move.

Bucky had nodded and waited until he and Loki were alone. He leaned against the railing and said clearly "Either y're stupid, or ya wanted to get caught. M'guessin' the latter. What I can't make out is why. Either s'your plan, or, y'actually wanted to be stopped. Care to tell me which?" 

Loki's eyes were a piercing, icy blue; lighter and colder than Steve's. "That depends on what this cage was initially for." he lightly pressed his fingers against the glass, humming softly. "I have a feeling it was not built for me."

"It wasn't and y'already know that. Look sugar, I know a POW when I see one, if ya need help, I have a feelin’ these people might be the best place to start at." Bucky taps his com, to get Steve's attention. "Keep Banner in a neutral place. Away from the blue shit. I'll keep in touch." He turned back to Loki "Ya brother said he'd thought ya died."

Loki's lip curled, but the blue flickered in his eyes; for a second, green was visible. He didn't say anything for a moment, and then... "With good reason. My 'father' let me fall. He had no interest in me; from the start I was a pawn."

Steve listened in silence to what was happening, having sent Banner and a surprisingly compliant Tony to a safe spot.

"Godda be rough." Bucky said, not even trying to discredit the guy. Truth or not, this was what he felt like and that would be valid enough. "So, ya fell, someone got their hands at ya didn' they? Someone pretty fuckin' scary I'd guess." Bucky didn't know for sure, but he did know fear when he saw it.

Loki twitched slightly, feeling a sense of panic rising in his chest. Not that he let it show. "And why does that matter a whit to you?" he asked coldly.

"Because as I see it, doll, y're doin' someone else's dirty work an' that dirty work will destroy this world. I happen to enjoy livin' here with a guy I like. Whatever has ya panties in a twist...we got a bigger chance with y'r help rather than without it. But if y'wanna play impossible, I'll let ya know this much, the others ain't so forgive'n forget. I just think everyone deserves a chance."

‘A guy Bucky...liked? Could that be me?’ Steve was wondering this as he listened, trying to make himself focus on the more important aspects of this situation.

"And why should I believe that you will not simply use me for your will, and then abandon me at the nearest opportunity, when my use to you is up?" Loki asked. He was weighing the pros and cons, the chances of him getting out of here should he not agree. The blue was flickering in his eyes, being overwhelmed by green.

"Honestly? There ain't no guarantees. Y'kinda put y'self in this situation. Best I can give is the word of a guy who has seen some shit in his life." Because what else could he do? He couldn't promise Loki's freedom, "Helpin' us, it’s kinda a good step on the path of redemption. There's somethin' gonna happen, ain’t there? Tell me. Help us out, an’ we'll help you out."

Loki watched him coldly, allowing the silence to stretch between them for a long while before he said "The Chitari are coming. A species from another world, another place, are coming to invade this planet." The blue in his eyes was almost completely gone.

Bucky cursed and sigheed, rubbing the back of his neck. "Lemme guess, y're supposed to flag the way? If ya don't they'll appear anywhere at random?" 

"If I don't, then they will not appear at random, but they will center in on one of your highest areas of activity, thereby doing the most damage possible."

Steve was listening, trying to wrap his head around this. Aliens? Actual...aliens?

Bucky pinched his nose and nodded. "Okay. So we choose the spot before they surprise us. You help us fight, we help you out. Do we have a deal?" He asked moving over to the panel with the buttons.

Loki would be a fool not to take this deal. Whether he held up his end remained to be seen, but he nodded. "We do" he responded.

Steve spoke into his ear piece. "Let him out, Buck" he said quietly. "He's the best hope we have."

Bucky easily pressed the right button, opening the door and looking at Loki with a little nod. "Welcome aboard, I guess. We're all in over our fuckin' heads here." Bucky spoke with genuine playfulness again. "So... aliens. Any suggestions on how to take'em down?" He asks, already walking back towards the conference room.

Within five minutes of letting Loki out, any planning didn’t matter. They didn’t have time to position the beacon in a less populated area. They didn’t have time to set up.They didn’t have time for...anything. They got in their uniforms, and got going. The portal was above Stark Tower...of course. The aliens were pouring down like rain, and frankly Steve was having trouble believing it. It was clearly real though; he kept knocking down aliens, and more took their place. Bucky had found a good spot on a building and was shooting the assholes down when they crept up on the other Avengers from behind. Other times, he shot one in the rare event that they found a civilian out in the open.

Only problem? In the middle of this mess, one of the big worm things had crashed into the building Bucky was on. Getting down had involved a lot of falling , sliding, bruising and his radio breaking down entirely. He was totally lost and unable to communicate. Bucky had no idea what was going on in the actual fight, but he had plenty to do anyway. He was fighting off aliens on the ground, hoping Steve and the others would be able to stop this shit and soon. He also hoped Steve didn't think he died...the idiot would probably get reckless.

And yes, the moment Steve had realized that the Chitari beast had crashed into Bucky's building, he'd started to panic. What if something had happened to him? What if Bucky was...  
"BUCK!" he shouted into the comms, as he fought with renewed fervor. "BUCK! Answer me, are you okay?! BUCKY PLEASE, I’M BEGGING YOU!" Steve’s voice was anguished, and the entire team could hear it. Everyone realized at once. Steve was in love him. Steve Rogers was in love with Bucky Barnes. And Bucky Barnes may very well be dead. Steve slammed his shield into the face of an alien, knocking it back, and then went sprinting toward the wreckage where Bucky had been. He was taking out aliens with every step, not minding his own safety. He was just about to be struck from behind when Loki stepped in. 

The trickster had split into different pieces, distracting aliens while his actual self had the safety of the others in mind. He was currently tracking Steve, knocking down any alien that tried to go after him. Steve didn’t notice. He didn’t notice anything. He circled the wreckage, knocking away any alien that dared get in his path until he saw the ground of aliens around… “BUCK!” Relief, followed by horror. God damnit, Bucky was in danger. He was just about to intervene when he saw Bucky snatch a gun from one of the Chitari.

"Huh! Fancy." He hummed as he blasted the group away, resulting in their incineration. His prosthetic was nowhere to be seen. It had fractured in his fall, so he had thrown it away. At this point, it only slowed him down. When he saw Steve, Bucky grinned. "Not bad for a one armed bandit." He called with a cheeky little grin. "Ain't ya supposed to be up helpin' shut that thing down?" He asked, waving up towards what was left of Stark tower with his right hand and the alien gun. Gee, that place needed a big time renovation now. Steve took a half second to be relieved that Bucky was okay, and horrified that his arm was gone. "I had a different priority" he responded "The others have it." And the truth was, he really would go to Bucky. Every single time.

Bucky just snorted in amusement and climbed over a wrecked container, winking at Captain America. "M'fine Stevie. Don’ worry, my arm's fine. Well... it broke, but the fine part with plastic an' shit that they're made of? I can throw it away. Gonna cost a fortune to get a new but I'm fine." Bucky is already heading back towards the fray. He is a soldier after all, and now he has a badass weapon to use. "C'me on Stevie!"

It wouldn’t cost a fortune because Steve would handle it. If they didn’t give Bucky a free goddamn arm for his part in this fight, Steve would personally take matters into his own hands. He ran alongside the soldier as they jumped back into the fray. Back to back, they fought hard, but it seemed like the aliens would never stop coming. Steve caught a few bad hits, but held his own well. He saw the destruction of the city, thought of all the innocent people who were dead or injured...and this only fueled his anger. His frustration. He had to make sure these people were safe!

They had it. They were good. They were going to be fine...right? But Tony...there was a nuke, and up Tony went and for a while Bucky could just stare because Tony was just... gone. Steve’s heart was rocketing in his chest. “Stark…?” he said, his voice barely more than a whisper into the comms.

"C'me on Stark y'fuckin' pain in the ass." Bucky mumbled quietly. The silence. It was horrible, there was now sound. Natasha was praying in Russian. Steve was whispering Tony’s name. Thoughts were going through his head. He’d spent just a few hours total in Tony’s presence, resenting him, hating him for something that was STEVE’S problem, something he should never be angry or embarrassed about. And he had been. He’d lost so much time mad at Tony, and he needed to apologize, needed to tell Tony that HE WAS A GOOD MAN.

It took too long, but the next moment Tony was back... but in free fall. Thor made ready to go for him, but Hulk was faster and Bucky, again, could do nothing more than just stare. "Tell Sam we’re gonna need him. He was a paramedic." Bucky spoke sharply, having a feeling they'd need the help.

Steve spoke into the comm, his voice hollow with shock and fear. He gripped Bucky's hand and together they sprinted for the spot where Tony lay...not breathing. "Stark...STARK! Tony!" shouted Steve, shaking him. He ripped the mask off of Tony's helmet and leaned down, listening for breath. He couldn't get the suit off to perform CPR, how the hell could he help?! “Tony, I’m sorry. Tony! TONY!”

"Steve!" Bucky gently forced Steve away from Tony, and Steve fought...just for a moment. “Stevie, he ain’t breathing. He’s g-SHIT!” Bucky jumped half a foot when the Hulk screamed. Probably for the reason they all wanted to scream. But...holy fucking shit, it saved the day!

Tony jerked and gasped, choking for air as he clawed at the ground. The suit fell away, as though prompted by his thoughts. And Tony clutched his head. "What...the hell..." He muttered in a hoarse voice.

Steve's shoulders slumped in relief, and he said in a shaky voice "That was the dumbest, bravest thing I have ever seen anyone do."

"The dumb shit is that y're dumb'nuff not to have any way outta that fuckin' thing." Bucky grumbled as he indicated the suit. "How ya think we'd be able to give ya some fuckin' CPR? I ain't gonna go smoochin ya y'know." But he's just fucking relieved that Tony survived. Holy fucking shit, who wouldn't be? Did they lose anyone? He didn't think so, though admittedly he was a little outta the loop with his comms dead.

Tony groaned "You're welcome" he huffed, pretending to be annoyed. "Not like I saved everyone's life or anything."

Steve leaned down and helped the genius up, looking him in the eye. "You did a good thing" he said firmly.

"Of course I did. Now who want shawarma? Have you guys ever had it? I saw a little place down the street, we should have some!" The genius is clearly pumped up on adrenaline and shock. Bucky felt kinda bad for him. He'd probably need some serious psychiatric help later. 

"I could eat." He replied, about to wave but making a face when he realized the prosthetic is gone, and waved with the other hand instead. "Shawarma is like... kebab. Sorta, but better."

Steve appreciated the explanation. Now that he was sure that the person who had been in immediate danger was safe, he turned to his friend. Tipping the other man's chin up, he had a look at him. He felt Bucky's pulse, checked him over for damage. "We're going to find a way to get you a better arm this time" he promised.

"Well, SHIELD does have me on a different insurance; might pay for a better one." He replied cheerfully. Now, Bucky was fine, he was just tired and bruised. The falling and tumbling had really done a number on him and he'd wake up really damn sore. 

"If you let me have a look, I can make one." Says Tony, who was still looking himself over, as if for missing parts. "JARVIS, call Pepper. She didn't pick up and I'm getting worried. But Robocop, you want a new arm, I'll fix you up."

Bucky snorted “One thing at a time, Stark.”

Steve was still checking Bucky over, not convinced that he was okay. Not convinced that he was safe. It drove him absolutely up the wall, the idea of losing him. He checked his friend's pulse again. "Bucky...how do you feel?" he asked tentatively. "We should get you checked over by a doctor; we can’t risk anything."

"Steve, doll, m'a soldier who lost his arm at one point an' still lived." Bucky said calmly, putting his hand over Steve's. He'd let Steve fuss all he wanted up until now. He really was fine, bruised and tired, but fine. "Promise ya, m'perfectly good, a'right? No few cuts'n bruises but that ain't too bad. Are you fine?" He asks, having tried to look Steve over as well, but the red, white, and blue all seemed to be the right colors.

Steve wasn’t fine. He was sure he was going to have more nightmares than ever. But he lied. “I’m alright, Bucky. We should get everyone some food.” He decided. “We could all use it.” He didn’t want to talk about himself. Not at all.

Bucky noticed the way Steve avoided it, but also figured it might actually be one of those things where he didn't want to talk about it in front of others. Bucky would ask him again later. "A'right." 

Bucky walked close to Steve as they all head out, gently bumping their shoulders. The others would meet them at the food place. Bucky would have taken Steve's hand, but he knew cameras was undoubtedly going to come out any minute and that would make some major headlines. "Thanks for comin' to look for me Stevie."

“I wasn’t going to leave you on your own.” He said firmly. “Buck...I was afraid I’d lost you. I can’t lose you.” He looked over at the other soldier, and as they walked together, he made a request. “Can I ask you a personal question?”

"Course, anythin' ya wanna, cap'n." Bucky didn't mind when Steve asked him stuff, whether normal or weird. Steve understandably had a lot of questions and Bucky was glad to answer as best he could.

“Why haven’t you settled down yet?” Steve had danced around this question before. “You’re allowed to be with a man, and I’m sure you have options. Why not get married and...and be with someone you love?”

"Y'godda find that someone first y'know." Bucky poked playfully. "I dunno, guess I never found my prince charmin' that's right for me." It wasn't that he hadn't had dates or even boyfriends, but he just hadn't found the right one to settle with.

"I doubt I'll ever have that." admitted Steve, after a long silence. They had stopped now, amidst a mess of alien bodies and destroyed cars. "I don't think it's part of my..." He waved a hand, searching for a word that wasn't as spiritual as 'destiny' or 'fate', neither of which he believed in.

Bucky didn't help him find a word to finish that. Instead he pushed his shoulder playfully with a wide smile. "There's someone for everyone Stevie, y'just haven't found the right one yet. Don' worry, y'will." Bucky was a firm believer in that there was a special someone for everyone out there. A soulmate, if you will. Steve just hadn't found his yet. "Don' worry 'bout it Stevie, a'right?"

Steve smiled, though it was sad. He knew who he wanted. "Thank you for saying that, Bucky." They kept walking.

The meal they ate at one of the few standing buildings in the area was mostly quiet. They were all hungry, and lost in thought about what had happened. Lost in thought about how many had died. About Steve’s screaming. It had been...traumatic, honestly. Of all of them, Steve spoke the least.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky and Steve return to the apartment, eat pizza, and play 20 questions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew! Lots of long chapters, and lots of fun! Thank you for all the kind comments and kudos! I'm replying to comments from hereon out!

That evening, they returned to Bucky's apartment in relative silence. Steve didn't really want to do a debriefing, but he knew they'd have to tomorrow anyway. Besides...he needed to chew S.H.I.E.L.D. out for the quality of the arm they'd given Bucky. He continued to be worried about the one-armed soldier as they entered the apartment. He wanted to shower, but figured it was only right to let Bucky do it first. Bucky, who had risked everything and almost paid the price. Bucky, who had Steve’s back. Bucky, who Steve…no. He couldn’t go there.

Bucky was, indeed, wiped out. He thought a lot about Steve on the drive back, and they didn’t really talk. They were both in the mood for silence until they arranged their thoughts. Once they were inside, Bucky ordered them a couple of pizzas for later. He thanked Steve for allowing him to shower first, and headed back to do so. Stripping off, he stepped under the hot water and let it soothe his muscles. His arm. The scarring there was awful, but it was just something he’d learned to deal with. He was quick about the shower, and came out in a hurry when there was the call of pizza on the door. 

The hurry meant his hair was wrapped in a towel on his head, he only wore sweatpants, and he still had his toothbrush in his mouth. He expertly gets the pizzas and balances them on one hand, closing the door with an easy kick and grinning at Steve on the couch. "Care to help?" He gargled around his toothbrush. Steve hadn't seen him topless before, and certainly not the ugly scarring around what was left of his arm, which wasn't much to be entirely honest. Bucky still got self conscious at times, but mostly in public. He wasn’t self-conscious around his friend. He couldn’t be.

Steve tried not to stare; he really did. The staring was only partially in worry about what Bucky must have felt when he lost the arm. The more selfish and...ashamed part of Steve was admiring Bucky's body. He snapped out of it when Bucky addressed him, and jumped up to take the pizzas. He took them over to the counter and set them down. "I'm just going to...u-um..." He cleared his throat and pointed in the direction of the shower. He couldn’t talk, couldn’t think. He was processing toned muscle and a gorgeous frame; the kind his wet dreams were made of.

Bucky had noticed and suddenly smiled cheekily. Steve had just...yup, look at that blush! "Y'checked me out." Bucky says, leaning lazily against the counter. He acted a bit more slutty than he normally would. He couldn't help it! Steve Rogers, the shyest little secret gay guy, had just checked him out and it was great! Not to mention the fact that Steve could probably bench press a car. God, if Bucky had a chance, he would be all over Steve! But that wasn’t an option; Steve would have to initiate.

"N-No!" protested Steve. The last thing he needed was to make Bucky uncomfortable, and Steve Rogers couldn't read the body language of people he cared about to save his life. He jumped off the couch and backed away, saying "I just...um...I just was..." Think Rogers, what were you doing!? An excuse, come up with an excuse! But he couldn’t. His mind was blank, it was full of Bucky’s body, his muscles and his beautiful eyes...

"Mhmm. Can I check ya out back? Or is it a strict no checkin' anyone out situation?" Bucky was a cheeky little tease, but it's soon clear to anyone he's far from upset over it. Instead he winked at Steve, before heading into his own bedroom, walking as slutty as he could possibly managed before he was out of sight.

Steve tried to process what had just happened, but his brain wasn't working properly. He headed into the bathroom and closed the door, checking the lock three times. He needed to think about this. His first thought was ‘If I do this, I'm going to get him locked up’ before he remembered that nothing bad would happen to either of them. Neither of them would be locked up. His second thought was that this had to be some sort of dream. It had to be a desperate dream that Bucky was flirting with him. And his third thought, as he scrub the sweat and grit from his body, was...what if it goes wrong, and I ruin our friendship? But his mind was reeling. He’d never had sex before or even KISSED anyone, but he was imagining what it would be like to have Bucky kiss him, to have their bodies pressed together and...STOP IT ROGERS.

While Steve showers, Bucky got dressed, finished his routine with his brushing and turned on a Disney movie. Disney wasn't triggery; Bucky needed that today. He finally opened a pizza box and sat on the couch with it in his lap. Steve ate a lot, sure, but Bucky could eat a whole lot too. He'd always loved food.

Steve stayed in the shower longer than he strictly needed to. He considered going straight to bed. It was tempting but...he couldn't start avoiding Bucky now. He put on a t-shirt (why were all his t-shirts so tight?) and a pair of sweats, and headed out into the living room. He stood there, almost anxiously, before sitting on the couch with about a foot between them.

Bucky snorts in amusement as he looked at Steve. "A'right Stevie, y'want me to forget everythin’, I will. Have some pizza an' be normal please?" Bucky was desperate for things to go back to the way they were, despite his nonchalant attitude. He nodded over to the pizza boxes. "I won't say ya checked me out again, pinky promise."

Steve looked over at him for just a second, meeting his eye, before looking away again. "Bucky, it's just that..." He scrubbed his hands over his face. "You were right. I've never felt this way about...about anyone before, and I don't want to make you uncomfortable, I don't want anyone to feel like you got where you are because we were together, I don't want you to get hurt...."

"Stevie, dollface. How 'bout this. Anythin' we say an' do in here is private. Just between us, til y're comfortable with people elsewhere knowin' anything. Listen, ain't gonna say we're together or even datin' but sugar, stuff like that? You checkin' me out, me checkin' you out? Baby steps. In here, tha's fine and no one will know a thing. Deal?"

Steve nodded his agreement; he never really looked enthusiastic, as a rule, but his tiny smile gave away that he was pleased with this arrangement. He was looking forward to this already.

Bucky figured Steve wasn't ready for more, but this was a good first step. Steve could be free to do and say things that were taboo for him. The world wouldn't need to know; no one needed to say anything. Only Steve and Bucky would know, and Bucky wasn't one to kiss and tell.   
Besides, it made things a lot less stressful and pressured and a lot more relaxed overall. It would be good for Steve, and Bucky was perfectly content with it too. "So, pizza? And I'm introducin' ya to Ice age."

"Pizza" he agreed, seeming a lot happier now. He looked to Bucky and said "Before we...change subjects, as tempting as that is...I want you to know that it's nothing to do with being ashamed of you. You...know that, right?"

"Don' ya worry sugar." Bucky replied with a little laugh. "I get it Stevie, y're literally from a time where it was illegal. Let's do what we've done with all else: baby steps." 

Bucky isn't offended. He was really just excited that Steve was showing interest at all. "So... to change subjects now. Steve, are y'okay?" His voice has softened up. "Today was rough. On everyone."

Steve avoided his eye. He was...a pretty closed off person, and that hadn't changed since he woke up less than a week ago. "I'll live." he responded frankly. There wasn't much else to say.

"If y'wanna talk about it, I'm free whenever." Not prodding, he was simply saying he was there and would listen, but on Steve's own terms. There was a ping on his phone and Bucky looked down and snorted a little. "Care to join me t’ get measured for a new arm t'morrow?"

Steve was about to politely decline the offer when the subject was changed, much to his relief. "I'd love to go with you" He responded. And then he went to something related to both topics. "When the building...fell." He looked at Bucky with worry. "I was afraid for more than your arm. I thought I’d lost you." He distantly heard his own screaming, felt the ruins crunching under his feet as he ran.

"I'm a tough cookie Stevie, don' worry 'bout me a'right?" Bucky says softly, gently pushing at Steve’s arm and smiling. "I was in a special ops group. We did a lodda dangerous shit, so this ain't my first fallin' building."

Steve shook his head "I'm always going to worry about you. You're stuck with that now." He smiled a little sadly, and his hand lightly rested on Bucky's knee. It was a big step. Unfamiliar territory. Somewhere beneath the fear, Steve really liked it.

Bucky beams at Steve and shuffled to close the distance between them. "A'right, y'gonna lemme worry 'bout ya too? Y'do realize it's a two way street?"

"I...yeah. I suppose that's...okay." Steve smiled. "It'll be nice to have someone worry about me over more than the public's opinion." And really, in the past that was the concern of most people. That the public would freak out if he died or was hurt.

"I'm more interested in knowin' ya aint hurt or sad or shit." Bucky responded in a soft tone, looking fondly at Steve. Bucky wanted to know Steve didn't get taken down by those damn aliens, that he slept good, that he ate like he should and all that. The same way Steve fussed about him.

Steve's fingers flexed very gently on Bucky's knee. "Thanks Buck." he said softly. "They're...going to want to debrief us more tomorrow. I should probably get some sleep." He hadn’t touched his pizza.

“After ya eat” responded Bucky. Let the worrying commence!

Steve rolled his eyes, but took his hand away and picked up a piece of pizza. With just a bite, he discovered how hungry he was, but continued to eat politely. He ate almost an entire pizza, and could’ve had more but for how tired he was. “I really do need sleep now…”

“Bright an early sunshine. I'll be up a while longer." Bucky was grinning as he said it. Truth was, he wanted to stay awake until Steve had fallen asleep because he was worried he'd have bad nightmares. He didn’t want Steve seeing that.

"You should sleep too" protested Steve, standing up. "We all need it, even when it feels like we don't. Do what you'd tell me to do."

"I'll eat more pizza first Stevie. M'still a growing boy." He winked, and watched Steve go to his room. Bucky waited for a while after he finished his pizza before he too headed to bed. It took him a bit to actually fall asleep, and as he'd suspected, he had bad dreams. Not bad enough to wake him up screaming, but bad enough that he woke up several times.

Steve, on the other hand, lay awake most of the night. It was around 4 am that he went to sit outside of Bucky's room, just to be near to him. He heard stirring inside. Familiar stirring. Freezing, he considered what to do. Should he talk to Bucky about it tomorrow, or should he...  
Before he knew what he was doing, he'd knocked. "Buck?"

"Yeah?" Bucky calls, not really getting up from bed because really, he was tired, he just... couldn't sleep. For one, bad dreams, and for two, his entire body felt like a big damn bruise and he couldn't get comfortable. "Whazzup? Door's unlocked."

Steve thought quickly about what to say and came up with something that was both true and would keep Bucky from feeling self-conscious. He opened the door slowly. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you up. I just...can't sleep. The bed is still..." He huffed. "It's too soft."  
"I've still been sleeping on the floor, and it’s just not working tonight."

Bucky snorted amused and patted the bed beside him. He had picked this mattress because it was harder, but still good for your back and comfortable. You didn't sink down like a fluff of cloud. "Join me on what my sisters call ‘the bed from hell.’ " cheered Bucky.

Steve moved over, acting more confident than he felt. Luckily the bed was big enough for the two soldiers, so as Steve slid in, they could be comfortable as long as they didn't mind getting close. "This is so much better" admitted Steve. And it was. For more reasons than one. He looked over at Bucky, his blue eyes soft and worried. He didn't want to screw this up.

Bucky hummed in agreement, finally opening his eyes, smiling playfully at Steve. "Wanna play a game to pass time an' tire us out? I'd suggest strip poker, but I already only have sweatpants." 

It's a playful tease, Bucky joking around. He wouldn't actually make Steve play strip poker. Poor guy. But maybe twenty questions or something could be fun.

Steve blushed, his pink skin clashing magnificently with his blonde hair. "A game? Sure. Strip poker? Not so much." he laughed faintly.

"How 'bout twenty questions instead." Bucky suggested with a little hum. "I start because I picked game though. What's ya favorite color if y'have to pick just the one?"

"If I had to pick just one?" He looked over at Bucky. "Honestly...pink. But like, a soft pink. It reminds me of sunsets, which I could see if I went to the right spot in the city."

"Honestly thought y'were gonna say blue." Bucky chuckled, but without judgement. He really thought it would be, seeing how Steve’s uniform was very blue. But it made sense it would be something artsy. "A'right! Your turn to ask me one."

"Hmmm..." Steve debated between a serious one and something casual, and went with... "Who was the first boy you had a crush on?" He looked curiously at his...friend...and wondered if that had been appropriate.

Bucky has to think about that for a second. It had been quite some time ago, so it was hard keeping track of who had been his first real crush. "I mean, there were celebrity crushes, but I think my real first crush was probably a guy named Danny in fifth grade.I was a late bloomer on crushing on people; had to figure m'self out first." He hadn't become anything with the guy, but he'd absolutely had a crush. "If ya just got to pick one favorite thing 'bout the future, what would ya pick?"

"You." said Steve, not even needing to think about it. He paled as he realized how quickly he'd answered, and how strong of a statement that must seem to the person it was directed at. Despite his blush, he continued, "I'm not making fun of you. I mean it. You're my favorite thing about the future."

Bucky gives up a little laugh and pushes at Steve's shoulder. He's blushing, but he hopes the dark of the room will hide it. Steve, however, had all those super abilities so Bucky wouldn't hold his breath. "Y're makin' me blush doll!" Bucky grumbled playfully. But clearly, he didn't mind it at all. He was touched, actually

Steve noticed the blush, and felt a little sense of relief that he was being received well. "Um...my question..." He was suddenly blanking, and tried to come up with something. Something he wanted to know. "How would you feel about me kissing you?" he asked tentatively.

Bucky chuckled softly at that, because that was... a very teenage question to ask. But then again, Steve hadn't really gotten to do the teenage thing so maybe it was about time. "I won't be able to answer that unless ya give it a try cap." Bucky hums sweetly. "Do you want to kiss me?"

Steve was suddenly VERY nervous. Terrified, actually. He moved so that he was on his side, propped up on his elbow, looking at Bucky. Just...looking, taking in the sight of him. It was kind of heartbreaking to Bucky, seeing a Steve looking so conflicted with his own perfectly normal identity. But Steve wanted to be here, he wanted to kiss Bucky, even if he'd never kissed anyone in his life. He leaned forward, balking for a second, before taking the plunge.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve kisses Bucky, and it starts to go in a direction that he's clearly not ready for. Bucky, noticing, immediately calls it off and knows they'll have to have a talk about consent for Steve's sake.

Bucky waited patiently and let Steve take whatever time he needed for this. When it does happen...holy shit it's so worth the wait! As it turned out, Steve was a natural. Not perfect, but he did very well, and didn't seem all that eager to break away. In Steve's head, this was the best thing he'd ever experienced….ever, including those first lungfuls of air after the serum. Bucky’s lips were soft and exactly what Steve had imagined, and when he felt Bucky’s hands in his hair...God, he couldn’t help the soft whimper that came from him.

Bucky’s own eyes had just fallen shut, enjoying the softness and comfort of this remarkable man. He wasn’t kissing Captain America right now. He was kissing Steve Rogers, a shy guy who’d never done this before. Bucky was so damn happy in that moment. FINALLY he was kissing Steve. It was almost 5 am, and they were kissing in Bucky’s bed. Bucky was sure his heart would pound right out of his chest, and wondered if Steve could hear it beating. He suspected that with the serum, the soldier could!

When the kiss finally broke (more out of Steve's concern for Bucky being able to breathe than anything else) Steve rested his forehead against Bucky’s "Sorry if that was..." He blew a frustrated breath. He really had no idea if that had been any good for Bucky. For Steve? Oh it had been INCREDIBLE. But…

Bucky grinned, then pushed Steve onto his back and straddled his hips, leaning in for another kiss before Steve could finish his sentence. "Shut up, sugar." Bucky mumbled against Steve's lips. He had his hand on Steve’s shoulder, keeping him down as they kissed. Bucky was DYING to make Steve happy, to make him feel GOOD.

Steve was shocked by this sudden change, but did the opposite of argue. He responded to the order willingly, even eagerly, kissing back. His strong hands slid up to Bucky's shoulder blades, and he groaned into the kiss at the feel of taught muscle there. He was very aware of Bucky's missing arm, but more in a 'I don't want to hurt or offend him' way than anything else. What he was most cognizant of was how sweet Bucky was being, the way his body felt so close to Steve's. A high pitched noise came from the back of Steve's throat, startling even him. He could FEEL himself taking interest, his hormones raging and his body responding in ways it never had before. His hips rolled slightly sheerly on instinct, surprising a gasp from Bucky. Steve liked that; that shocked sound from this amazing man who was ON him, hips rolling and eyes closed.

Bucky recovered quickly. Steve was clearly still learning about himself and about this. "Y'sure ya haven't gone 'round kissin' boys before? Y're a damn good kisser." He hummed, his hand stroking a little over Steve's strong chest. Jesus what a chest! When his hand caught Steve’s nipples, he heard the whimper of pleasure and Bucky leaned down on instinct to bite the soldier’s shoulder.

"I'm sure" Steve managed, his mind reeling from the bite and from the catch on his nipple, feeling more breathless than he'd felt since he was sick. But that had been bad. This was...so so good. "B-Bucky..." He tried to pull Bucky down (as gently as humanly possible) for another kiss. He needed more kisses, more contact. He needed it so badly that it was almost painful. “Please…”

Bucky complied with that and happily leaned in for more kisses, more touches. "Stevie?" He manages between a few kisses. "Stevie sugar, uh, we gonna keep this up, somethin's gonna get real interested by this an' as much as that'd be nice, I wan’ ya to be sure…”

Steve huffed and whispered “I want...I want…” But his cheeks were going pink as he looked away. Immediately, Bucky stopped. 

“Stevie…” he whispered “Lookit me. Please?”

Steve looked at him, his pupils blown but his expression tight. He listened as Bucky spoke.

“Y’ain’t ready. I know y’ain’t, I can see it on ya. So we stop tonight, a’right? We stop, and maybe do some more smoochin’ another time...an’ when you’re sure, ya tell me. Okay?”

Steve’s body was screaming for it in every way, but Bucky was right. He just...wasn’t there. Not tonight anyway. “I’m sorry” he managed. He was kicking himself. Bucky was being so gentle and sweet...why couldn’t Steve get over himself? He felt guilty.

Bucky could see that. He got off of Steve and dotted little kisses all over his face. “Doll, sugar, sweetheart. S’okay. It wouldn’ be fun if ya weren’t sure. Jus’ cause your body wants somethin’ doesn’t mean ya head is ready. In fact, I’m tellin’ ya now...if ya ain’t ready, I don’ wanna do it. I wouldn’ like it.” And Bucky was sure that at some point, he'd need to walk Steve through consent!

Steve nodded. Then he pulled Bucky close to cuddle him properly. “Thank you” he whispered hoarsely, feeling himself slowly winding down. “Thank you, Bucky.”

That was something Bucky really liked and he happily cuddled up to Steve, kissing his cheek in the process. "So, I'm definitely gonna play twenny questions with ya again sometime if that's what it gets me." Bucky commented with a cheeky little grin. But his body was starting to really get exhausted, and with Steve there, he felt like he would absolutely be able to drift off to sleep again.

Steve nodded, closing his eyes himself. "I can guarantee that if it feels like that every time I'm...game." Had he just made a pun? Yes. Yes he had. "Get some rest, Buck. We'll...talk tomorrow." He knew they needed to talk about what had just happened, but they were both pretty tired.

Bucky snorted amused at the pun. Terrible, but he fucking loved it, it was hilarious. But Bucky really did need sleep and soon enough, he was deep asleep.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky teaches Steve about consent.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyo! It occurs to me that I should warn everyone that this is a semi-heavy topic, and Steve's pretty lost and thinks about a stereotype. Also...Steve's internal thoughts use a lot of binary language, so I'm sorry to my nonbinary siblings! Different time, Western raised, but we'll get the hang of it!

The next morning, Bucky groaned as he woke up. He'd drooled all over Steve's chest and he was still sore. He whined a little and wiped Steve's chest off with the blanket before pushing himself up. "Oh fuck." He mumbled. He was fucking STIFF, and not in the fun way. Oh right. He’d put a stop to that last night when Steve looked like a deer in the headlights. Jesus Christ, Steve probably had no idea about consent. It wasn’t a new concept at all, but it only recently spread as a more common activist standpoint. Since Steve hadn’t been awake when it was first really being discussed, there was no way he knew the parameters. “Stevie?” he mumbled.

Steve was awake almost immediately, sitting upright quickly. His breath came in sharp gasps as he searched for the source of the noise. He wasn't used to waking up beside anyone, but when he saw a second later that it was Bucky, he relaxed. And then he registered how stiff the other was. He noticed that Bucky looked lost in thought and wondered what about. "Bucky?" He adjusted in bed to look at him. "You okay?"

"M'good." Bucky hummed, patting Steve's chest. He'd aimed for his arm but missed. Oh well, it was a nice chest. "Lies, m'stiff. Gonna take a hot shower to get started again." He flopped back onto his back on the bed, just groaning very loudly and saying "Shhh, Imma be a drama queen all I wanna."

Steve laughed and shifted Bucky so that Steve was behind him. He started to carefully massage Bucky’s shoulders, taking his time and working out knots. He hummed under his breath, an old song he’d heard walking by a shop once...until he heard the door open in the main room. "What the hell..." He glanced around for his shield, and realized he'd left it in the other room. Standing, he stepped toward the door. He was going to protect Bucky no matter what. Walking out into the hall, he froze as he caught sight of who was there. 

"Hill?! What the hell are you doing here?!"

Bucky managed to push himself out of bed with a little curse, because god, he was in so much pain. Steve’s message had helped, but not enough to help completely. He padded out after Steve and stared at the woman in his living room. "Okay that's it, m'gonna change the fuckin' locks." Bucky grumbled, then stiffly makes his way to the kitchen. He needed coffee and like five painkillers.

But Steve, who looked stern and serious, was internally panicking. Everyone would know. He took deep breaths. It wasn't a bad thing. Who cared if everyone knew? He wouldn't go to prison, and God help anyone who tried to hurt Bucky. But...but...Oh. Hill was talking to him. "Say again." he ordered.

"I came to discuss the after mission briefing and a meeting with a psychotherapist for emotional-"

"No." said Steve sharply. "I'm not insane, I don't need a psychotherapist. You can leave now." He was pissed for more reasons than one; for the suggestion, but also because Bucky was in pain and Steve was trying to fix it!

Bucky himself came back and smiled softly at Steve, guessing what was going through his head. "Stevie." he spoke calmly. "She’s suggestin’ it because we fought aliens an’ had a team member nearly die on us." 

Bucky handed Steve a cup of coffee to hold and then looks at Maria. "Need t’ make a requisition on a new bed. That somethin' I go through you to do? We're sharin' mine right now. S'the only one in the house that's not soft as a fuckin' cloud." While it wasn't against the law to be gay, he knew Steve was still struggling. It wasn't odd for a soldier wanting a hard bed. "He's been sleepin' on the couch, but it's just too fuckin' small. Not the nicest after missions."

Maria wasn't buying it. That was obvious. At the same time that she saw through them, she didn't look at all judgemental. "I'll get you to a new bed as soon as possible. Captain Rogers." She shook her head "It’s a new century. Nobody of merit is going to judge you. And therapy has nothing to do with that these days." Not a whole truth, but it didn't happen to adults. And he didn't need that added stress yet.

Steve folded his arms and said, "I'll think about it. And Agent Hill..."

"My lips are sealed." she said gently and reassuringly. “Captain Rogers...you’re not the only one on this team. In fact, I think you’ll find we outnumber heterosexual people.” And then, just like that, she was gone.

Bucky was about to head in for a shower, but first said "Stevie, we're gonna have to... talk, bout the kissin' if ya wanna do that again. But Imma shower, so either ya sit on the toilet, or wait until I'm done."

"I'll wait" decided Steve. He also wasn't there yet, being so close to Bucky while he was naked. He went to add some creamer to his coffee, and took a sip, listening to the shower run. Hill was gay? That was...new information. His first reaction was sympathy. His second was the realization that there was very little that needed to be sympathized with.

Bucky was gone for quite a while. He really needed to heat the kinks out of his body. It worked though, he was a lot less stiff by the time he came back out. While in the shower, he’d thought about how to talk to Steve about this. He concluded that a direct conversation would be best. He'd dressed into a pair of jeans and a tee. 

"A'right, I'm gonna just start okay? I like kissing ya. Y're a good kisser an' I like ya. But y're the one settin' the pace a'right?"

Steve was surprised by the suddenness of how they jumped into this conversation, but he guessed that this was better than wading in slowly. "I...I like kissing you too." he said cautiously. "But I don't think I'm ready for more than kissing and...I don't know when that's going to change." He huffed "If I'm honest, if you asked me to...I would. I know that's not a good thing, but it's the reality right now."

“Stevie…” Bucky had been right. Steve had no idea. “Y’know what consent is?” He held out his hand. “S’like this. Can I touch ya cheek?”

Confused, Steve nodded. He instinctively leaned into the touch. Bucky dropped his hand and asked “Can I feel over ya heart?” He kept a careful look at Steve’s expression.

The soldier, still more confused, nodded. He let Bucky rest his hand there. And then Bucky said something completely unexpected.

“Can I suck ya dick?”

Steve froze and went white as a sheet. He didn’t know what to say, even if he COULD make himself speak. He just stood there mutely, and Bucky looked him in the eye and said “Tell me what ya feel, Stevie. Tell me the first thing that came to your head.”

“N-No.” It was the first thing. And he looked away in shame. DAMNIT. Why did he have to be this way? Steve was pretty sure men were supposed to want sex 24/7, and that wasn’t what he was showing right now.

“Good!” said Bucky, his tone bright and praising. “Good, tha’s consent. You tell me what ya feel, yes or no or slow down, every time. Doen’ matter if it’s holdin’ hands or kissin’ or more. Ya tell me the truth. And if we’re in the middle o’ somethin’, ya tell me t’stop. Got it?”

Steve nodded, and his shoulders slumped. He opened his mouth, but Bucky knew already.

“And ya don’t apologize for sayin’ no.” said Bucky. “Nothin’ to be sorry for. Someone ignores your no, ya knock ‘em in the head. Now c’mon...let’s drink our coffee and get ready for debriefing.”

Steve leaned down to kiss Bucky, but paused “Can I…?”

Bucky chuckled “Y’can always kiss me Cap. I’m giving you permission unless I say no in the time.”

“You too, Buck. I like kissing. I do want to repeat" Steve spoke, a little more firmly "that I'm not at all ashamed of you, Bucky. I can't imagine ever being ashamed of you. It's about...my situation. And how I'm feeling about myself."

"I ain't of ya either Stevie. S'just a bit big around ya." Bucky says calmly "with all the media an’ all that that'll come with you comin’ out as bi."

Steve's heart sank a little, but he stepped toward Bucky anyway, holding his hands. "The last thing I want is to put you in a poor position, Bucky. If you don't want to do this, for your own safety...please tell me."

"Oh don' be ridiculous Stevie." Bucky says with a little grin, pulling Steve in for a lazy little kiss. "Cute beefcake like y'self? Try'n keep me away cap'n."

Steve kissed back, hating how brief it was, just wanting more but not daring to ask. On the battlefield? He could take anyone and anything on. But here? Not so much.

When the kiss broke, Steve was left wanting Bucky’s lips all over again. He felt drunk on it. Nobody else, woman or man, would ever feel this way to him. He blinked at Bucky, his blue eyes confused, stunned...happy. So happy it was painful, before he turned back to his coffee, not speaking.

Bucky hummed happily and returned to his own coffee as well. "We'll do our briefings, then head by Stark Tower. Tony asked us to come to do measurements for the arm." Bucky was maybe a bit too excited about that, but everyone knew that Stark tech was world-leading. Getting a prosthetic in Stark Tech? It had to be a fucking great one. Maybe he'd even be able to use his fingers properly? Only one way to find out.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's a debriefing from the mission, followed by Bucky being fitted for a new arm. Steve reflects on his thoughts when the building fell. Everyone else thinks about the situation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So so sorry for my absence; I’ve had a lot of trouble with depression lately :c But I’m finally going to be knocking out some chapters! Check within the next 5-6 hours for at least 2 more fic updates on other stories! Also, if you notice a "T" missing anywhere, my T key is being ridiculous, SO, I may have missed corrections when proofreading!

The briefing had been traumatic. It was very quiet as Steve and Bucky walked in, and while Bucky sat down, Steve stayed standing behind him. Steve occasionally trailed his fingers along his best friend’s shoulder, feeling the ripple of muscle and the life that was THERE. When the building had fallen, he’d been terrified that he’d never feel that life again. That he’d never get a chance to hold Bucky. That it was over before it began.

The others did their best not to look. It didn’t make any sense to draw attention when Steve and Bucky were clearly trying to be private about this situation. The team silently and collectively chose to act as normal as possible. Tony was noticeably absent. He clearly didn’t want to go over his own experiences in the wormhole. He didn’t want to touch on how it had felt to not be able to touch base with his pregnant wife (who was, it’s worth mentioning, alive and well).

Bucky was the one who spoke the most. His vantage point meant he had seen a lot, with plenty of input from Clint. Steve gave updates on what had happened to him; what the fight had been like, and what he observed. Loki was fairly quiet, and very clipped with his report. It took HOURS for everyone to speak, and Steve looked liable to bolt with Bucky at any moment. Coulson kept looking at them with concern.

Bucky had stayed by Steve's side, but not in an overly attached way or anything. They worked together, so it made sense they'd be close together. But it was a relief once the meeting was done. They arrived at Stark Tower after the briefing at the SHIELD facility, and Steve seemed very on guard. 

The tower though, was already under re-construction. Most of the lower floors had gone untouched, including the lab. Tony wasn't the only one in the lab; Doctor Banner was there too, and they were both working on something laid out on a table.

Steve walked over the threshold beside Bucky, keeping close to him. He wasn't taking any chances with moving away from him...not when they were all so near to where one of their own had almost died. And so near to where Bucky's building had collapsed. "Stark. Doctor Banner." he greeted, sounding a little stiff.

Tony turned, smirking at the sight of them.

"Wipe the smirk off ya face or I'm gone." Bucky threatened, but it was an empty threat, and he still approached them. To be entirely frank, he was a bit starstruck being in Tony Stark's personal lab. He didn’t show that for even a second. Instead he just tried to look at...well, everything. "So what d’you guys need from me?" Bucky asked, wanting to get this started before it got awkward. 

"For you to take your shirt off and sit down in the chair so we can see what we have to work with." Replied Bruce with a smile. 

Bucky just shrugged and pulled his shirt over his head, the dog tags clinking together a little. He settled back in the chair and looked at Steve, who nodded reassuringly.

Tony didn't really seem like the 'be gentle and polite' type of guy, so he moved forward with what looked like a blue piece of glass and held it at different angles around Bucky's shoulder. All along the screens, measurements started to pop up, and trackers of how remaining muscle twitched and moved. Tony began conversationally "So...."

"I lost it when falling off a building, yes it seems to be a theme, no I don't wanna talk 'bout it." Bucky cut Tony off. It was the usual conversation he'd have about his arm when he did medical shit. It was the part he liked the least, because he didn't really want to think about it.

"That's not what I was gonna ask" said Tony "I can tell it was trauma induced, not medically done. I can also tell you two have made out, which was going to be my question-"

Bucky just stared in disbelief, because no way anyone could have actually told... "What make ya say that?" He questioned. It was a cheap answer. He was lucky Steve had struck up a conversation with Banner or the guy would’ve freaked.

"Because I'm not an idiot. You too practically never stop looking at one another, and when Cap's not staring at you he looks like I just knocked his ice cream out of his hand. His lips are chapped, which is weird because it isn't normal for him to get dry skin without something having happened. Do I...need to keep going?"

"He'll freak the fuck out if ya tell him that, so please don't." Bucky responded with a little sigh. Steve was far from ready for the world to know he was smooching anyone, a guy even less.

"Seriously?" asked Tony, kind of curious now as he kept taking measurements. "The guy could have the world on a plate, and he's worried people will know that you two are making out?"

"Bein' gay in the thirties was a federal offense Tony. People literally got killed by their neighbors if they were caught." Bucky couldn’t believe Stark was being so dumb. Did this guy seriously not know that? Wasn't it like a well known fact? Or was it just that Tony couldn't think of himself in that situation?

"Duh" said Tony flatly "It's not the 30's anymore, and it hasn't been in almost 80 years. I get it, what it's like to have everyone think you're gross for loving who you do. You think Pepper was my first? First lady, maybe..." He got up and stepped the few inches to the monitor, pulling up the measurements. Luckily, Steve was still talking to Bruce and not listening. "In case you didn't notice, plenty of us would go to bat for the poor idiot. He doesn't need to worry anymore.

"Tony, last week was 1945 for the guy. He ain't really here yet. He's on his way, but he ain't ready for it." Bucky shrugged. He was grateful that Steve wasn’t listening. Bucky didn't think Tony was the way he was to be an asshole. He probably just had a hard time following that Steve really took this a lot harder than people realized. Bucky was pretty sure he was the only one who could see the PTSD in Steve's face. It was possible Sam could, but Bucky doubted it. Hell, Steve would wake up screaming just as Bucky would; they wouldn't talk about it, but sometimes they'd sit up late and watch old cartoons.

"How are you doin y'self Tony?" asked Bucky in a change of subject

“I’m just fine” responded Tony in a deceptively relaxed tone. “Why d’you ask?” He was messing with the parameters on the display, accounting for the way Bucky’s muscles and nerves reacted.

"Because y'aint a soldier an’ I doubt y've been fine since ya first came home from the desert." Bucky replied, looking at Tony and shaking his head. "I ain't gonna force ya to say a thin' though. Just sayin' if y'need to talk 'bout it, I’m here." Bucky simply watched as Tony does his thing with his shoulder and arm.

"I don't need to talk about anything" snorted Tony "My old man used to say that talking was for hypotheses and data. Nothing else. I added 'sarcasm' to the list, but therapy? Not so much."

Bucky shrugged a little, "Won't force ya t'talk to me." he hummed as he tried to relax a little more, looking at Tony and the measuring that was happening on the screen in front of Tony's face. "Y'think y'can make some'o this?" he asked curiously.

"Think I can?" Glad for the subject change, Tony scoffed "I know I can. I can make you a better arm than the original, and it'll feel damn real too. None of the bullshit you had before. You may as well have had one of those shark-mouth grabbers as a hand."

Bucky actually cracked a laugh at that. He didn’t say a word against it, because Tony wasn't far from the truth. Bucky had been able to grab things, but it had been a really sucky one. "Just... no built in guns." Bucky decided. He'd rather not having a weapon in his arm; if he did, he’d never feel safe.

"Aw c'mon!" protested Tony. "At least let me make your index finger a bb-gun!" He huffed, knowing the answer as he finished up his calculations. 

Steve came over and bent down to ask "You alright, Buck?" He sounded heartbreakingly caring and worried.

"M'fine Stevie, just don’ wanna have a gun arm." Bucky laughed, shaking his head. "Just... I get bored quickly." Which is why he'd been tapping his foot the last few minutes. "Got my ADHD... right, y'guys didn' do stuff like that did ya? Means I'm easily distracted and hyper 'bout most stuff. Can't focus properly."

"There's a word for that?" asked Steve, startled. He winced. He was starting to feel in over his head again. He was thinking about what might apply to him, and was a little afraid to ask in case there wasn't a word. But...what if there was?

"Yeah, it's a disability." Bucky explained. "Hey, Stark? Ya just about done here? I could really use some coffee'n I'm gonna take Steve to this neat lil diner I bet he'll love." It was a little thirties diner, old music, old costumes, old interior. His grandparents loved it, so why wouldn't Steve?

Tony sighed "I guess I can be done. I have all my readings. You're fascinating, y'know that? You've got all this history written in your biology, and I can only imagine what Steve's got under his skin!"

"Wouldn't you like to find out." snorted Steve.

Tony seemed to be resisting flirting with great effort, but finally shrugged "If I'm lucky one day."


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky takes Steve to a very familiar diner. They discuss mental health and play a nice game!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wooooo! I'm back in the game with a broken "T" key. Let's see how that goes!

"What's this diner?" asked Steve, as they left together. He was kind of nervous, but for the most part just happy to be with Bucky. He had more questions about this disability. In fact, he still had a thousand questions to ask, and wasn’t sure where to begin. 

"Nice quiet place my grandparents love." Bucky replied with a little laugh, leading the way down to the garage and into the car. He made a point of opening Steve’s door for him, which caused the soldier to blush. "S' a pretty homey place, the servers are all nice, coffee’s great and food's yummy. Their fries? Best in the city " Bucky leaned against his own door as he spoke, looking at Steve admiringly.

"That sounds great, actually." Steve remembered vividly the three times he'd been to a place like that. They'd had money for it a few times more than that, but he'd been so ill...  
Steve got into the car and buckled up. He was trying to form that habit; buckling into a car. Not only had car rides been uncommon for him, but buckling in was rare.

Bucky followed suit and soon they were off. The diner wasn't too far, and as Bucky had said, it was a nice calm place. There weren’t too many people at all, which was good for the two soldiers who’d been through so much. They even got a little vinyl-seated booth by a corner, which was Bucky's favorite spot. It gave them some privacy to chat and just hang out. "Okay y'have to tell me, how authentic is it? Or not at all?" Bucky caught the look on Steve’s face for the first time since they arrived. “You okay?”

Steve was in awe. It looked different, sure, but he still recognized it for what it was. "I've been here before, Buck" he said softly. "It's almost exactly the same. It's...what I remember." He looked across at the other man, shaking his head. “Of all the places you could’ve brought me…” But it was said with happiness.

Bucky looked a bit surprised, then beamed. Of course he’d managed to bring Steve to the only diner he'd already been to! Even if it had been like seventy years since then. "S'a nice spot. Think s' the original owners’ grankiddos that run it now. They just kept it the same, made a thing 'o it. S'pretty popular for a diner."

Steve glanced around, as if making sure nobody was looking, and then said in a soft voice to Bucky "Thank you for...this. For everything, Buck. Just being here...reminds me of the good parts of home. I mean...back then." He huffed in frustration.

"Hey, m'happy. An’ just because one place is home, doesn' mean other places can't be. Y'can have several homes, even if some are gone." Bucky voice was soft and loving, and he squeezed Steve's hand tentatively.

Steve, surprisingly, didn't pull back from their hands touching. He just smiled, and a light pink blush came over his cheeks. "I'd say you're right. I've heard that sometimes it's not a place, it's a person."

"Yeah." Bucky agreed with a wide smile, then he takes his hand back, only because the waitress showed up with two menus and a cheeky grin. She said a few words welcoming them to the diner. "You two just wave at me when you know what you want darlings." She crooned, then off she goes again.

Steve had been relieved that Bucky noticed the waitress, because honestly, he hadn't. He'd been so caught up in...whatever that had been. He opened the menu and again had to FORCE himself to ignore the prices, had to remind himself of what Bucky had explained inflation was. He found a classic cheeseburger, and thought that sounded promising.

Bucky took a while to pick, having several favorites, but he was absolutely getting an extra serving of fries. He'd been spending a lot of time sitting still, so he deserved a reward for managing. Admittedly, with how active he was with Steve, his ADHD had slowed down significantly. So much excitement meant (for Bucky) an easier time coping.

That same subject seemed to be on Steve's mind. "So there are...words for everything now, huh?" He seemed confused by this, as though wondering if that was a good thing or not. Was it good to have so many labels? Maybe. Maybe it would help people. But Steve wasn’t sure that was what HE wanted. Was it?

"Hm?" Bucky seemed confused. "Y'mean on the menu?" He wondered, not entirely sure what Steve was fishing for here. Then remembered the talk at Tony's. "Oh! Yeah, mostly. I have ADHD, attention deficit hyper disorder... or somethin’ like that. Dunno. It means I have a rough time sittin' still an’ keepin' my focus. S'a mental disability, means my brain is wired a lil different than others. Still a person and y'know, all that. My brain just don’ really focus the way yours do."

Steve bit his lip and looked down, idly flipping through the menu and not completely responding. What do you say to that? How do you admit yet another thing? One of these days, what he said was going to be damning. One of these days, it was going to be Bucky’s final straw.

"Y're thinkin' very loudly." Bucky said softly to Steve. "Mental illness is pretty common, not everyone is open to it. But most. I have a few things like'at. My ADHD, but also PTSD. My cousin has a pretty severe case o’ OCD."

He wished he knew what those other two were. What most of them were. "It feels like it's only gotten less bearable since I woke up." he admitted in a quiet, but surprisingly calm voice. "When I was a kid, I would feel...worse than usual. It was always hard to breathe, but it got harder. It felt like , even in open spaces, the walls were closing in around me. And now that I've woken up...it's just gotten…” He shivered. “Half the time, I can't take a step without feeling like I'm falling. My lungs are in better shape than ever, but every once in a while it's like an asthma attack again."

"These things get triggered by anythin'? Tight spaces, sounds, colors, shapes, thoughts?" Bucky was asking as if he didn't think it was weird at all...because he didn't. Honestly, he was surprised Steve didn't have more of these attacks.

And suddenly Steve felt one coming on. Throughout it, the only difference was that he tensed (just a little...he was always tense) and his breath came a little bit quicker. "I guess...when it feels like I'm in trouble. Not physically..." he waved a hand "Fights are no problem. But when I did something wrong. When I messed up."

Bucky nods, then reaches his hand over to take Steve's gently again. "Sound like y'go through some panic attacks, maybe anxieties. I get 'em too, but not as much anymore, or as violent. Mine are part of my PTSD, post traumatic stress disorder. I got it from the war. Sometimes, when they're real bad, I dunno what I do. Can wake up a few hours later, sittin’ fully dressed in the shower, just kinda... waitin’ for nothin. Stevie, they're common. I c’n Google some up for ya if y'd like?" He knew Steve wouldn’tt feel open for a therapist yet.

"Nobody should have to feel that way" protested Steve. "It's...common? That's awful." He was glossing over the fact that he was experiencing them. He didn’t want this to be about him. He wasn’t the important one here. "Buck...you get them?" he shook his head, surprised, horrified. "There has to be a way to fix them."

"I used to go to a therapist. I still have him on speed dial, though I don' go much anymore. When it was worst, I got pills to reduce the anxiety."

Steve looked a little more stoic, but his pupils were practically pinpoints from fear at this point. What was he supposed to say to that? He couldn’t think, his heart was pounding, his lungs were collapsing, spots were bursting in his vision… "I could give it a try" he almost whimpered, trying to put his heart in it.

"Stevie, we only do what y're comfy with. Lemme tell ya somethin that helped me, an’ we c’n try on ya a'right? S'a game... pretty silly." Bucky admits sheepishly. "M'gonna say a letter, you're gonna come up with three animals startin’ with the letter. So, I say G, you say?"

Steve looked at him quizzically, but answered "Goat, Gopher, Gecko..." He focused on what Bucky was saying, trying to figure out his angle and where he was coming from.

"Good, now M." Bucky continues going through a few letters, picking harder ones and adding silly demands like, only mammals or stuff like that. "How ya feel?" He asked after a few rounds, smiling goofily

Steve had had to focus on what animals to pick, and what parameters had to be met. He looked deeply confused at Bucky's question and realized suddenly that the attack was done. He could breathe again, the unusual tension was gone...leaving only the normal amount behind. "Buck...how did you...?"

"Y'kinda tense up. Doesn' really show, but ya clench ya jaw. I've seen it before, but not been sure what it was til ya just told me." Bucky shrugged and smiled. "The idea with that is to get ya mind busy with somethin’ else."

Steve smiled; he looked more relaxed than before. It was like he had been freed from some horrible prison, if only for a while. "Thanks, Bucky" was all he managed. He didn't know what else to say. "That's like...magic, honestly."

"My therapist taught me. I don' go no more, but he was real good for me." Bucky nodded, then let Steve's hand go, "How 'bout we order that food a'right?"

Steve hadn't even realized they were holding hands. He ordered his cheeseburger, kind of startled by all the questions they were asking. He looked to Bucky a few times for help, especially when they asked how he wanted it cooked.

Bucky helped him out each time, and the waitress didn't look stressed or annoyed. She simply looked kindly at Steve. She was probably assuming he was from some other country. Steve's face hadn't really had time to blow up just yet; it would probably happen in a day or so. Once they had finished ordering, Bucky spoke again. "Did ya know I once used to teach kiddos piano?"

"Really?" asked Steve, brightening "You know how to play? That was one of the things I could do growing up. There was a music school near my house, and they let me play if I cleaned the instruments when I did."

Bucky’s eyes shone at how excited Steve got, and he quickly responded. "Yeah, was real good at it too. Stopped for obvious reasons. But I remembered havin' a lodda fun with it."

"Hopefully with this new arm, you'll be able to play whenever you want" pointed out Steve with an affectionate smile. He was looking at Bucky warmly, with all the care in the world.

"Maybe I'll make ya play with me." Bucky leaned back comfortably on his side of the booth, looking at Steve with a cheeky, yet loving smile. 

"That'd be nice" said Steve "if I still remember how to play, that is." He smiled a little sheepishly. "I knew Howard Stark very well...if his son is anything like him in terms of talent, that arm will be good for anything."

"I mean, Stark Industries is pretty fuckin' impressive. Was doin' weapons, but stopped it when he got attacked an' taken in the desert. I hadn't actually ever met ‘em before." If there would have been time, Bucky would’ve been starstruck. Just like he could be at times when Steve was doing something very captainy.

"He sounds like a good man. A pain in the butt? Yes. However..." Steve looked good-natured. "that's the way Starks usually are."

Bucky gives up a little laugh, and just then their food arrives and Bucky happily gets started on his fries. "I'm admittedly curious what he might be able to fix me up with." Bucky said honestly, looking down at what was left of his arm.

"Whatever it is, I'm sure it'll be good." said Steve, who was willing to fight for the best of the best for Bucky. "You deserve it, after all you've done."


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky receives his new arm, and Steve asks a VERY important question!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hope this was worth the wait!

It took about a week. A week of waiting, a week of Steve worrying and Bucky feigning confidence that didn’t really accompany his desperate hope. Stark finally asked them to come back. When they came to take Bucky into the OR, Steve had held Bucky’s hand for a moment and said softly “Hang in there. I’ll be waiting when you come out.”

“I’ll be a’right Cap. Never broken a promise t’you yet.”

Bucky had obviously been knocked out when they attached the metal arm and he had just woken up. Steve was pacing in the room, occasionally glancing over at the soldier, sometimes checking his pulse. Steve couldn’t seem to keep away from Bucky, regularly checking in. He was listlessly wandering the room when he heard the patient speak.

"Stevie." His voice honest to God cracked. Steve whipped around to see Bucky rubbing at his eyes with his right hand. "Fuck... Stevie look." He wiggled his new metal fingers, then tapped his thumb against each finger quickly and easily. One finger at the time, he flexed them and clenched a fist. His eyes filled with tears. “I c’n touch...c’mere!”

Steve had been worried, honestly. He was worried this wouldn't live up to Bucky's hopes. Worried it would wreck the soldier to wake up and see something like before. But when Steve saw Bucky's face, saw the hand moving...well it was hard to believe it was a prosthetic. He forgot where he was. Forgot that others might come in. He sat on the edge of Bucky's bed and moved some of the dark hair away from his face. "It looks great" he said "How does it feel? Does it hurt?"

"My shoulder's fuckin sore. But Banner said it'd just be painful a week or so, s'all still adjusting." Bucky just kinda choked out a little laugh. "I can feel," he whispered, pressing the metal fingers to Steve's knee. "I can feel pressure." 

Steve did something, very carefully, that he was entirely new to. He lay his hand gently over Bucky's metal one, applying the tiniest bit of pressure. I'm here. I've got you.

"Bucky" he murmured softly. "You can play piano again." It was such a pure, innocent thought.

"I know!" Bucly cried out excitedly, shifting to get a little closer to Steve, grabbing his hand carefully. "I could actually hold a coffee while talkin' on the phone, or drive a car with a stick! Get back to ridin' my motorcycle!"

Steve laughed, and leaned down to rest his forehead against Bucky's. "I'm so happy for you." he said firmly. "I've never been so...damn happy in my life. Look at you smile" Now Steve blinked back his own tears.

Bucky beamed at Steve. "I’m takin' ya hikin." Bucky cheered. They could do that now. Bucky wouldn't be a hindrance.

"Hiking?" asked Steve, sounding like a kid on Christmas. He closed his eyes, relaxing as he took in the feeling of Bucky so close, and the smell of his...his friend. Like mint and soap and something like a hospital...but nice, because it was BUCKY. "I'd like that."

"Yeah, used to do it a lot before, but I had to stop for obvious reasons. Hikin' with just one arm ain't gonna be easy so I just decided I couldn't anymore, y'know?" He spoke nonchalantly, as though this didn’t bother him. "But I think y'd like it. I know a few nice trails."

"I'd love it" said Steve "I never really had...time before. When I was ill, there was no chance. I'd have died. And when I was given the serum, I went straight off to war. This feels like...a new beginning, Buck."

"Welcome to the future, we have fucked up aliens and time for hikes." Bucky reached the metal hand out and places it against Steve's shoulder, mostly because he was still trying out what on earth he could do with it. It worked like a normal hand and arm and it was baffling.

Steve tilted his head to rest it on Bucky's hand. "Can I ask you a question?" he asked quietly, unaware of how stereotypically teenager-y this question was about to be.

"That was a question, but you can ask more of them." Bucky hummed, unable to NOT make that joke. Steve really set himself up for that one.

Steve blinked in surprise, and cracked a smile. "We..." He looked a little nervous, blushing. It was a stark reminder for Bucky of the life he'd missed. "We are...I mean...what is this?" he indicated the two of them. "What are...we?"

Bucky chuckled in amusement, because there were so many ways he could mess with Steve for that statement. In the end, he decided to go soft on the guy. Steve was probably really confused in all this. "That's really up to you, Stevie." Bucky spoke calmly. Steve was the one who wasn't used to all this.

Steve was worried when Bucky laughed; worried he'd said something wrong. And then...the guy left it up to him. "Oh...um..." He looked down at where they held hands "I know what I want. But..." Steve looked kind of anxious. Again, he felt one of those...things coming. He got tunnel vision, and spots burst in his sight. His chest felt tight and constricted, but through it all he was careful as he held Bucky's hand.

Bucky rubbed Steve's knuckles gently, then softly began humming a soft little childhood tune his nana had sung whenever they couldn't sleep when she was babysitting them. He knew Steve was going through a small attack, and he hoped this would help.

It did. Steve was out of it within three minutes, but had to regroup. Remember where he was. Who he was sitting with. And what they had been talking about. "I want to...be with you." he managed "But I don't know what to call that, or...if that would get you in trouble. I know it's not against the law but that doesn't mean much."

"Y'wanna be my boyfriend Stevie?" Bucky asks with a cute smile. It isn't even teasing, his voice is just soft and sweet. He really did want to be Steve's boyfriend. "But sugar, if you wanna keep it private, that's fine with me. The press have been rough on ya the last few days." 

The papers had of course picked up on Steve Rogers being back. Captain America, Iron Man, the Avengers. Steve had barely been able to go anywhere without a camera in his face. Stark tower was one of the few places they didn't suffer from it.

Steve hated it. Hated every bit of the attention, and not just the anger at his disappearance. So few people were upset. But a lot of people seemed...well, entitled. Entitled to his life. "I do. I want to be your boyfriend, Bucky. But there's so much that's going to hit you in the face. I could go public" He'd thought about it a lot. "With your agreement, when you're ready."

Bucky reflected that Steve had taken the whole thing like a real champ. Bucky was proud of him for how well he'd handled it. He leaned in and gently kissed Steve's lips, a soft and adoring thing. "Yeah. But before we do that, I'd like to tell my family first y'know?"

“Mhm” said Steve willingly, his expression softening at the mention of family. He couldn’t begrudge Bucky that. “D’you think they’ll mind?” He asked softly. It hadn’t sounded like they would but..

"My dad's gonna be askin' bout ya intentions; he's a protective sorta guy, and he does’at with all our partners. My mama's gonna tell ya that from now on y'll have to come for all Barnes family gatherings and that ya better like food. My siblings’re gonna gush over ya an' probably ask y'stuff they shouldn'. But none of my immediate family s'gonna mind."

“My intentions?” Steve was stuck on that. “Do people not date to marry anymore?” Steve said it with totally naive confusion. Some people had dated just to date, and hardly anyone married the first person they were with in his day, but the usual idea was to get married.

"Oh, honey." Bucky shook his head. "Stevie baby, these days people mostly wanna get into ya pants, then y'know, leave. Y'should see Tindr n’ Grindr." But it was cute that Steve intended they'd get married one day. And maybe they would, who knew! 

“What’re Tindr and Grindr?” Asked Steve, morbidly curious and not entirely sure he wanted to know.

"Uh, dating apps, kinda where ya look for hookups. We're not getting it for ya." Bucky muttered uncomfortably.

"Dating...apps?" Steve'd been told what an app was, but still had trouble understanding. How could so much stuff be on that...phone? It still didn't seem like a phone to him. He felt helpless here

To change the subject, Bucky pulled up his phone. "So, how does this weekend sound? Good to meet my folks? We could go by for a meal."

At the question, the Captain agreed immediately. "Yes, I'd love to meet them then." He was also trying not to dwell on the fact that most people wanted to 'get into his pants'. That was such a weird thought.

Bucky sent away a quick message to his mama asking if they could come by. Well, him and his new boyfriend. With the text sent, he leaned over to give his boyfriend a proper kiss. “Hey honey. You’re doin’ so good” he said softly.

Steve kissed him back. With each one, he improved. And with each one, he became more and more addicted to Bucky's lips. When they finally stopped, he was still holding the new hand. "It's beautiful" he said softly."Did they say when you could come out of the hospital?" Steve didn't like hospitals, but he would stay with Bucky for as long as Bucky allowed him to.

"’Fore I went in, they said I was done when I woke, s'long as I didn' drive m'self home. Know ya ain't no fan of hospitals, so I figured we could go back to my place, celebrate with some chineese food? Maybe I could earn more smooches from m’best, most handsome guy?"

“You’re not too bad to look at. The arm adds to the appeal.” But Steve was blushing.

“I’m hot Stevie! Come on. Let’s get home.”

“Home?”

“Yeah. To our place.”


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We see the beginning of Steve's first visit with the Barnes family, and a mini heart-to-heart he has with Bucky's mother.

They spent the night at Bucky's apartment, and ordered in. Steve was still learning to cook, now that he had access to so much, and while he was okay at it, he wasn’t great. He did, however, improve at a rapid pace. Tonight they weren’t in a mood to work through ingredients and recipes; they wanted to relax and just be with one another. Steve seemed preoccupied though, and finally admitted, halfway through their meal, "I'm a little worried about meeting your family."

"Oh yeah? Go ahead'n tell me what's worryin’ ya?" Bucky suggested. Maybe he could put Steve's mind at ease, at least a little bit anyway.

“Well...I’ve never even been in a...” He looked cautiously at Bucky “relationship before. So I’ve never had to meet the parents. I don’t really know what to expect.” He toyed with his food anxiously, blinking up at his boyfriend.

"S'long as y're just you, they're gonna love ya Stevie." Bucky’s tone was assuring. "If it gets too much, we can just fake an emergency and head back here. I c’n blame my arm bein’ sore even." Stuff like this could be really overwhelming for anyone, and Bucky wanted Steve to know it would be fine. "Besides, s'a military family. Dad was a soldier, I was a soldier. If ya feel a panic comin' up, s'nothin we ain’t been through. Just gimme a nudge an we'll slip out for a few minutes. They ain't gonna comment."

“Do they know it’s me?” Asked Steve finally, on whom this seemed to be weighing. He’d prefer they knew ahead of time so there wasn’t any...gushing.

"I’m gonna call my mama tonight and warn her, an' she'll tell 'em off from proddin’ ya." His mom wouldn't allow anyone in the Barnes clan to make Steve uncomfortable, Bucky knew that much. "So, just be Steve an' we'll be all good.”

“That’s what I want” admitted Steve “I don’t want anyone to get the wrong idea...I love being Captain America, I love helping when I can. But...this isn’t...I mean...” he sighed “I want to be your boyfriend. Not Captain America, in this case.”

"Yeah, don' worry Stevie, my mama will have told them off ya back." Bucky responded calmly, stroking his hand up Steve's arm and leaning in to kiss his cheek. "They'll still have questions mind ya, but Steve kinda questions."

"Good" said Steve, who seemed happier now that he knew that as they would have a...somewhat normal visit. He’d gone a little pink at the kiss; Bucky never failed to bring a little bit of shyness to Steve’s now-lovesick heart. "I'm happy for you, Bucky" he said, referencing the arm again. "The look on your face..."

"Haven't had full functionality on my left side for years." Bucky murmured, still somewhat in awe of the amazing arm that Stark had produced. "Honestly just accepted that I ain't gonna have it again y'know? Now I do, s'kinda mind blowin'"

“You can do so many things again.” Said Steve, who was also in awe of what he was seeing. He touched the silver arm very lightly, watching the plates shift and adjust.

"I can drive a manual properly again." Bucky replied with a cheeky little grin. But really, since he'd worked at a garage, that was kind of a big deal. And when Steve was acclimatized to the present, this wasn't exactly going to keep being a job. He fully expected to go back to the garage.

Steve leaned down to kiss him again, lacing their fingers together. Sometimes, it was hard to breathe...but not from anxiety, or asthma. No. It was simply hard to breathe from joy.

The weekend arrived. Steve tried on three or four different things before settling (somewhat anxiously) on a light blue polo and dark jeans, and a set of brown sneakers that danced on the line between formal and informal. He had showered and shaved, and now stared at himself in the mirror. He touched his hair, making sure it was perfectly and neatly arranged, straightening his shirt and trying to figure out if anything was wrong. Finding nothing wonky, Steve stepped out into the living space to find Bucky.

Bucky had talked to Winifred Barnes for a long time, almost an hour actually. They'd talked about a lot more than just Steve of course, and in the end she'd assured that she would make sure no one bothered Steve about being Captain America. It was the same drill as always; you didn't just ask Bucky about how he'd lost his arm or his bad times in the army, and you didn't ask George about the things he experienced in combat. Simple really. 

Today Bucky was dressed in a nice pair of jeans and a comfortable henley. His hair was pulled up in a bun, just barely dried up from the shower he'd had. In difference from Steve, Bucky still had a slight stubble, but that's how he liked it anyway. He turned when he heard Steve behind him.

"Ya ready?" Bucky asked with a wide smile. Steve was looking fucking handsome and Bucky couldn't help but snap a picture. He loved taking pictures; reminders of the happy times, and the moments he wanted to capture forever.

Steve was surprised by the picture, but was quickly learning why Bucky took them. He approached the other man, leaned over, and kissed him. "I'm ready. Nervous...but ready"

Bucky kissed back, long and adoring, even taking Steve's hands while they were kissing. He loved holding Steve's hands while they smooched. "Y'll do great, they ain't too scary." Bucky sounded playful.

"It's not great that I can face down Nazis without flinching, but when it comes to meeting your family..." He sighed as they headed for the car. "I'll do my best, Bucky."

"Y're new to this Stevie, no one expects ya to be an expert." Bucky says easily, together they head to the car and Bucky pops into the driver's seat. Driving was thrilling now with his new arm. "If it helps, they're gonna divide their attention on my arm y'kno." He teased.

"That's true, and honestly, it does help" he admitted, cracking an amused smile. He tentatively put his hand on Bucky's knee as they drove. Bucky beamed happily. Any time Steve went out on a limb like that, the silver-armed soldier was over the moon with happiness.

The trip is a relatively quiet one; not badly quiet, but comfortably so. They listened to music and Bucky sometimes sang along. After a little while, Steve picked up on the chorus of a longer one and started in on it too. Bucky was amazed at how clear and pleasant the super soldier’s voice was.

It took about thirty minutes or so to get to Bucky's parents' house, which was a nice place in the suburbs. Green shutters, a nice little garden, white picket fence, a few fruit trees…

Bucky parked on the driveway and leaned in for a soft encouraging kiss. "This'll be fine, y'know?" He swiped his thumb over the apple of Steve’s cheek, and slid his hand down to rest over his partner’s heart.

Steve kissed him back. This place was beautiful; the sort of home Steve had once dreamed of owning. He got out of the car and, taking Bucky’s hand, they headed up the front walk.

Bucky smiled and knocked on the door without another word. It really didn’t take long for someone to come open the door, and Bucky smiled widely when it's his oldest sister. Rebecca Barnes, just a year younger than Bucky and looking very much like him, grinned at them both while holding a little toddler in her arms. "Look who it is Kevin, your favorite uncle." 

The little boy squeaked very loudly, dropping his pacifier and the toy car he'd grasped. He held out his chubby little arms out eagerly. "Bubu!" He chirped over and over. 

Bucky just laughed and takes the little toddler from his sister, giving him a big smooch on the cheek. "Hey lil guy! Ya dropped ya car, is it a new one?" Bucky easily picked up the red plastic car returned it. "Becca, this is Steve. Steve, this is Rebecca. She's my sister, a year younger. Is Jim here too?" The last part he directed to Becca. 

"No, he had to work, so it's just me and Kevin." Rebecca’s smile was soft and fond. Her attention then turned to Steve. "So you're Steve, huh? Heard a lot about you. All good, don't look so worried." She pulled Steve in for a hug, not really giving room for disagreement. 

Steve felt immediately at ease. Seeing the little boy had helped a lot. It was hard to be afraid of people who had kids! Steve hugged Rebecca back after the slightest moment of hesitation. He was gentle and careful, not wanting to do any damage by mistake. Already he felt so welcome. 

"Rebecca, was that James at the door?" Another woman calls, and an older woman with dark hair and a floral apron covered with flour joined them. "Oh there you both are! Steve, I hope you don’t have allergies! I’m making apple pie. Don't linger by the door, come in. And don't think you got away from the hug, I will hug you both once I get this apron off!"

Steve had recognized the woman immediately as Bucky and Rebecca's mother. He stepped inside and wiped his shoes at the door, looking to Bucky for a cue as to whether he should take them off or leave them on. Seeing Bucky take his off, Steve did the same, and then followed into the house. "You have a beautiful home, Mrs. Barnes.” 

"Oh thank you dear. It is a mess right now; my dear daughter leaves her school books all over the place and of course does not pick them up when I ask." Sighed the older woman with a weary yet affectionate expression. "And please, you may call me Winifred, or Winnie. It's what everyone calls me. I sound so old when you say Mrs Barnes." She shook her head. 

"Don't let Abby hear you tell people she's messy, she'll make it ten times worse." Bucky quipped with a laugh, and Rebecca snorted from the other room.

"Of course m....Winifred" He had almost said 'ma'am.’ This was all so new to him. He loved this place already; it was homey and relaxed, and everyone seemed so happy. "Can I help you with anything?" offered Steve, glancing around for something to do to assist. He hoped he wasn't overstepping.

"Oh, you help too. I like you." She shook with mirth. "Yes, be a dear and cut the apples in eights please. They are washed already, so you need only cut them up for me. James, follow the example of your boyfriend and help your mother, I need the coffee turned on." 

"Maaaaa, I'm holdin' my favorite nephew!" Bucky complained, then laughed and gently let Kevin down to the floor to play with his car.

Steve went red at the word ‘boyfriend’, mostly because he loved it!

"Oh you, let me look at your arm." Winifred demanded, tapping Bucky's shoulder when he passed. She then took his hand and looked at the joints of the fingers. "Oh, James, this is so much better." She cooed fondly.

Steve was a perfectionist, at least in terms of making stuff. Art, food, and even clothes. They'd often had to make or alter their own clothes when he was a kid, so he knew how. At the moment, however, he sliced each apple quickly and carefully. He glanced over his shoulder at Bucky and Winifred, pausing in his deft slices. "It does look amazing, doesn't it?" he asked, smiling.

"Oh absolutely." She replied very warmly. "And don’t think I don’t know you played a part in this young sir." She wagged her finger at Steve. "Thank you for taking good care of my son." She had something unmistakably MOM about her. It broke Steve’s heart in the best way.

Bucky blushed and slipped away from her to make the coffee. "Please don't embarrass Stevie so he'll dump me mama?" Teased Bucky playfully. 

"Oh hush you or you’ll be banned from the kitchen." She chided. Bucky just laughed, kissing her cheek as he passed her and winking playfully at Steve.

Steve was feeling more and more at ease, while also being pretty flustered by the praise "It was the least I could do" he responded "You raised a man who told me the truth at the expense of his job. I'm so grateful it was him who was sent in, because anyone else would've lied and lied. He was honest almost from the start."

Bucky blushed a little at the praise and smiled at Steve goofily. Steve always seemed to have good things to say about him. But his attention was stolen when Kevin demanded it and Bucky carried the little toddler out of the kitchen to play properly with him. 

Winifred smiles at Steve, a soft kind of concerned motherly smile. "He really likes you. He’s been speaking about you for weeks. Not saying who it was, just using your first name. You are very welcome in our home, Steve. You have done a lot for my boy, more than you know. He was in a very dark place before, but lately all I have heard is eagerness. So thank you, for giving the happiness back to my son."

Steve put down the knife and the apple he was about to start slicing, and faced her. “When I woke up, I've never felt so lost or confused...or afraid. He saved my life, and I don’t think he knows it. I hope I’ve helped him in some way too, but the truth is I don’t know that I’ll ever be able to thank him for all he’s done for me. He’s kept me feeling safe when the world was so scary. And you’ve only added to that feeling, Winifred.”

She pulled Steve in for a big mama bear hug. "I fully expect you here for all the big family celebrations from now on." She kissed him on the cheek. "Oh, now go off and see what the others are doing before I truly start crying. I will finish here in a jiffy!" 

“Thank you” He said weakly, before going to find his boyfriend. He headed down the hall between living room and kitchen, pausing for a moment in the blind spot between both and leaning against the wall. Home. This felt...like home.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They enjoy a meal at the Barnes residence, and Steve takes a leap or 3. When Bucky and Steve get back home, there's a moment of tenderness.

The others, meaning Bucky, Kevin and Rebecca were all in the living room "Woomawom!" Kevin exclaimed loudly, shaking his car at Steve as the soldier entered the room. Bucky grinned up at the blonde. 

"Hey doll. That means come an' join us to play car." He translated with a laugh. Kevin kicked his little feet happily and continued to roll the car around on the ground. He had several of them in different colors. Steve noted that one (looking brand new) was themed after...Steve’s uniform? He blushed at both the observation and the word ‘doll’ as he approached.

"So, Steve. How are you enjoying New York?" Asked Rebecca with a kind smile as Steve knelt. "Except for living with Bucky, that has to be a chore." She winked at the soldier when Steve looked appalled, so that he’d know it was a joke.

"Heeey! I’m a perfect roommate." Bucky whined dramatically. He crossed his arms and pouted playfully, his lip so far out that a parrot could sit on it. 

Steve snorted at the sight, and beamed at just how cute that was. He felt so at home here. Kneeling among them, he watched the little boy play while placing his hand on Bucky's lower back. It was a way for him to steady himself. "Things in New York..." he kept a smile on his face, mostly for the little one "Different, but bearable. Surprisingly easy, despite your brother" he teased. He clearly had a sense of humor.

Rebecca laughed a little and nodded. "I can imagine. Me and my husband recently moved, though not the same trip you have made. It's certainly something to find home again, but it helps with a partner." Her tone was encouraging.

"He was the first person I woke up to, and I wouldn't have it any other way" commented Steve, pulling a little face at the baby boy. 

"I'm hired to be helpful." Bucky grinned cheekily at Rebecca. "Maybe I should do like you though, grab Steve and move him to the suburbs." 

He caught what Bucky said and looked over at him quizzically, as if asking 'really'? He realized now wasn't the time and came up with a response fairly quickly. "Do the suburbs have a working gym nearby?"

Rebecca could absolutely see something very deep and real between them both. It was very sweet. 

"M'sure SHIELD would just build ya one if ya asked real pretty." Bucky’s voice was playful. But all this talking made Kevin feel left out, and he crawled over to Steve and clambered up into his lap. The little boy popped himself down, blabbering very loudly while waving around a red, white, and blue car.

Steve was stunned by this change of pace, and he stared down at the little one for a second, before pulling a funny face at him. Sticking out his tongue and crossing his eyes, he blew a little raspberry.

Kevin watched, then squealed excitedly and clapped his hands together eagerly. The car was forgotten and dropped, and instead he reached up to touch Steve's face, giggling and bouncing. 

"Uh-oh, you’re being replaced as the favorite, Buck." Teased Rebecca, and Bucky snorted as he watched Steve and Kevin play. They were just so cute. Bucky snapped a picture; he had a lot of pictures of Steve.

Steve was quite taken by this little boy, and his eyes were wide at the sweetness of him. He tickled gently under Kevin's chin, beaming from ear to ear and not totally registering what was going on around them.

Rebecca smiled fondly and Mrs. Barnes beamed from the doorframe. She'd shown up just in time to see the scene. Happy that her son had found someone who seemed so very sweet, she admired the situation. Steve did seem a little down; a depression she'd seen not only in her son, but also her husband. War did awful things to a person. "Are you all behaving out here? The pies are in the oven and Abby and George are on their way back home."

Steve snapped out of his daze with the child. Suddenly he realized that none of this was what he expected to have. A partner, a supportive group of people around him. People who saw him, not as Captain America, but as Steve. It made his heart light with joy.

Bucky leaned against Steve and smiled fondly. Steve really seemed happy about this, and Bucky was glad, because his family was the most important thing he ever had. He wanted Steve to like his family and he wanted Steve to feel included.

Steve looked over at Bucky from where he sat with the child, bouncing the little boy gently on his knee. "Can I help with anything?" he asked Mrs. Barnes sincerely.

"No, everything is nearly done, but thank you dear. Do you drink coffee or tea?" She already knew what her children liked.

"Coffee would be great ma’am" he responded, using the respectful title sheerly out of habit. He felt an odd sense of comfort here that he couldn't begin to explain or describe. But he loved it all the same. He kept bouncing Kevin on his knee as he smiled at the woman.

"Such a well behaved young man, James. You could learn something from him." She sassed, then headed off while Bucky laughed. 

"Yeah, yeah mama, I'll follow Stevie's lead." He called. "She likes ya." He commented, as Rebecca nodded. Then he noted Steve’s face.

Steve had gone pink. He was surprised by the word 'young', which was probably obvious. He was almost 100, and anyway, even in the 1940's he'd considered himself older than his technical age. In his teens, he'd had to grow up very quickly, and forget the idea of being young. He looked to the siblings and smiled "I'm glad she does; things'd be awkward otherwise."

"Not to used bein' called young man huh? I don' think she think 'bout the fact that y're like, born in the dark ages." Bucky could see on Steve’s face what he was thinking.

"Well, he doesn't exactly look like a fossil." Rebecca’s tone was amused. "You are the age ya feel, that's what our nana says.

"Well, I feel old" he admitted “We had to grow up quickly back then, and I had to grow up quicker than most. " He held Bucky's hand "So no, I'm not used to being called young at all." He smiled, as sheepish as his tone.

"Get used to it dollface, cause I betcha she ain't gonna stop. I'll still call ya grampa though, don’ ya worry or y'll get gray hair." Bucky was smirking.

"But you have to admit, he'll make a nice silver fox." Rebecca says with a laugh. "Jim will probably lose all his hair before they turn gray." 

"Oh c'me on, Jim will be handsome anyway."

"Is Jim your husband?" asked Steve, trying to ignore the comments about his own appearance. He was very shy about that kind of thing, and decided to focus on keeping up with the family situation.

"Yes, Jim is my husband, and this little one’s father." Rebecca’s smile was kind. "He’s a graphic designer; mostly he can work from home, but at times he has to go to the clients for presentations." 

"He’s a good guy, you’ll like ‘im." Bucky nodded.

"A graphic designer?" asked Steve, who was struggling to keep up. Sometimes he felt so lost in this time. He kept a smile on his face for Kevin, but held Bucky's hand with his free one. An anchor. A steady place.

"An artist for computers." Bucky gave a very simplified version. "He designs posters and websites and stuff like that for companies. Y'can talk art with him, he'll get ya art language." Bucky was, after all, here to introduce Steve to the modern day. He'd made it his task to do so as easily as possible.

“Got it” Said Steve, even though he didn’t. He missed doing art, and seemed to get introspective. “D’you think he could show me how?” He asked, pretty curious at this point.

"If ya ask him an' got an hour to spare." Bucky beamed while Rebecca laughed lightly. 

"If you would like, he could teach you how to use an art tablet to make digital art. It's not going to be the same as drawing on paper, but it turns out really great once you've learned and practiced. He likes it because he doesn't have to bring pens and paper everywhere, and it's better for the environment."

“I haven’t done art in a very long time,” he admitted “Not since before the serum. There was no time after that.” He kept playing with the child, and laughed self-deprecatingly as he said “I suppose I’m not any good anymore.”

"That's not how talent works." Bucky sounded very gentle. "I'm guessin' ya wouldn't tell me I ain't no good at piano anymore...bit rusted, sure, but y'll get it back, sugar."

Sugar. It brought a warm blush to Steve’s cheeks as he looked between Rebecca and Bucky.   
When the food was ready, Steve was reluctant to let go of the little boy, but he returned him to Rebecca and went with them to sit at the dinner table. He was endlessly polite, waiting for the cue to eat.

They were all sitting having a nice time with apple pie, chatting about all kinds of things. Rebecca said that Kevin was had some really great success in his language progress, and that he was enjoying his half days at the daycare. Bucky chattered about this new car he was planning on getting and so on. 

They are in the middle of pie eating when the door opened and closed; shortly after, George and Abigail Barnes came into the room. Abby was clearly youngest, just a teenager still. She just stared at Steve for half a moment, nearly vibrating with excitement, before managing to get herself under control. She skipped into the room and hugged her mom, popping down on a chair. "Hi guys!" 

George and Winnie both shake their heads with small smiles. George holds his hand up when Steve had made a motion to stand up. "Please, you can stay right there." He said calmly, "I'm George, it’s nice to meet you. That bundle of energy over there is Abigail."

"Abby!"

“A pleasure” responded Steve. He kind of wished he could stand up, but obeyed the request. He smiled at Abigail, giving a little wave.

Bucky snickered a little, taking Steve's hand under the table and giving a squeeze to tell him he was there for him. 

George said "James, I heard all about your new arm! How’s it working for you?"

"All good! S' so much better than the old one." Bucky smile, in Steve’s eyes, was like the sun. "This one feels pressure! Got it from Tony Stark himself."

“He earned it” corrected Steve. “He risked life and literally limb to keep New York safe.” Steve was fawning a little, but his mind hadn’t caught up enough to be embarrassed yet. “He’s the bravest man I’ve ever known.”

"Awh gosh Stevie! Ya sweet talk all ya guys like that?" Bucky says, blushing but also beaming widely. "And as I recall, y'did some asskicking out there y'self. Plenty o’ alien ass to kick." 

“You’re my only guy” responded Steve without thinking, before his cheeks went bright pink and he turned his attention to Mrs. Barnes.

"We all saw it on the news." Winnie shivered. "Are they sure all those things are for certain gone? None could be lurking somewhere?"

“We’re still sweeping the city as we clean it up” responded Steve, who wasn’t going to lie. “But we have scanners out looking for them. To be honest, I don’t totally understand how it works, but apparently it knows them when it sees them.” He didn’t respond to his own praise.

"Don' ya worry ma, y'aint gonna have no aliens in ya livin'room or steppin' at the flowers in ya garden." Bucky’s smile was reassuring. "Besides, I know you'd just knock it down with a pan, I've seen ya swing." 

George cracked an amused laugh at that. "Your mother would take an alien down by simply giving it an angry glare." This made Winnie scoff at them both, but she was smiling.

"As long as it's under control, I'm happy." commented.

“I have a feeling Mrs. Ba...Winifred could knock me down a peg with just a look” responded Steve, still holding Bucky’s hand. He was feeling more at ease, but still had the underlying thought...he was disappointing Bucky’s parents. He was making things bad. He needed to stop. But he cared for Bucky very much. He wasn’t going anywhere unless Bucky told him to.

Winifred sent him a cheeky little approving smile. Clearly she liked that answer, and George laughed. They both liked Steve...in fact, they all did. Well, Abby was just being starstruck, but at least she was being quiet rather than overwhelming. 

"So, Steve. Do you have any plans for the future?" George sounded curious.

Steve managed to keep his composure, but gave himself away a little by glancing at Bucky...only for a second. "I have options now that I didn't have decades ago. To be honest...I know what I hope for. But I don't know where to begin. I'm trying to focus on the present, to be perfectly honest. That's...not a very good answer" he chuckled, a little sadly.

"I believe that is a wonderful answer dear." Winifred said kindly and George nodded in agreement. "More of a plan than many have. Ask James the same and he will say he doesn't know." 

Bucky just shrugged. He was still figuring out what he wanted to do in life, but he was pretty sure he knew who would be in it.

Still, it occurred to Steve that maybe Bucky wasn't as serious about this as he was, which broke his heart a little. But he gave no sign of that as he smiled at the praise between them. "I've always been a 'plan' sort of person. Well..." He smiled "that's not entirely true. When I can avoid jumping in without one, I do."

Bucky looked at Steve with a fond expression on his face. "Whatever we end up doing, I'm pretty sure Steve's gonna lemme tag along for the ride." One of these days, Steve would probably realize he could get just about anyone in the world, and Bucky was honestly dreading that day because no sane person would pick a guy like Bucky.

Steve looked at him quickly, not quite able to hide his surprise. He smiled in relief, gently squeezing Bucky's hand, and as always careful not to hurt him. "Definitely I am" he said warmly, before remembering where they were. He blushed and turned back to Bucky's family. "How did you two meet?" he asked Winifred and her husband.

Rebecca had giggled and snapped a quick picture of the two of them staring longingly at each other. She sent it to Bucky, knowing full well her brother loved to have pictures of pretty much everything in his life. Bucky was a secret scrapbooker. 

"Oh us." Winnie smiled, looking like she was remembering some far off moment. "We were in the same class together when we were children."

George smirked playfully, which was a very Bucky look. "I smeared mud in her hair." He looked proud, earning a whack from his wife "We were eight."

Steve beamed. He remembered something all of the sudden, and asked “I’m sorry if this is a sore subject but...Bucky told me Harold Barnes was in your family...?”

"Still is, the old geezer. Are you telling me he isn't entirely insane? He actually did know you?" George’s eyes went wide. That's surprising to the lot of them. Well, not Bucky, who already knew. "If you would like, I'm sure he'd like to say hello sometime.”

Steve sounded fond “We were childhood friends. I got very sick right before his family moved, and we didn’t have a phone. He might’ve, but mail was expensive, and I didn’t know where he was to get in touch. He was a good friend.” He looked affectionate as he held Bucky’s hand. “I’m glad he got married. What’s she like?”

"Crazy." Suggested Rebecca. She held her hands up in surrender when her mom sent her a warning look. "Mom, last time we met him he set fire to a trashcan because he wanted to show us a magic trick he'd learned on the ‘world wide web’." 

Bucky just broke out snorting at that, because he loved the old man, entirely crazy, acting like a fifteen year old. "She's right! The trick was to get the fire alarm on and get everyone to evacuate." 

Steve smiled “Sounds like Harry” he commented cheerfully. He seemed to be relaxing the longer the group was together. “He remembers me?” He asked curiously.

"Yup, claims you were a real little shit too by the way. After havin' known ya for a time now, I'm inclined to believe him." Bucky says playfully. Because Steve was not an innocent saint that the history books made him out to be. He had social anxiety and PTSD enough to take down a horse, but he was also a real snarky idiot.

"He did help to paint a pretty different picture of you for Abby's school work; I think she scrapped that part though." Rebecca was doing her best not to giggle as Abby stuck her tongue out.

"I didn't scrap it, I might still use it." She huffed.

Steve blushed a little. “I got into my fair share of trouble” he admitted “But it’s not something I’m ashamed of.” He hesitated, but only got a second. “Abby, when’s your presentation? Maybe I can help.”

Abby got this look of glee in her eyes and Bucky patted Steve's shoulder "You put y'self in that one." He snickered.

Winnie just shook her head as she begins to put away the dishes. Abby pulled her chair in closer as she wasn't sitting close enough to Steve. Bucky began helping his mom wash off the dishes and Rebecca went to talk to George.

"Can you ever! I have this essay, it's mostly done, do you think you could look it over? And... Maybe a picture! Of you! Can I have it for my presentation?" She asks eagerly, nearly bouncing in her chair.

"I...sure. Of course" Agreed Steve, who really just wanted to be helpful. "Whatever you need" he promised, hoping she wouldn't push it too far. "Your essay...is it on the computer...?" He asked tentatively, teetering on the brink of showing exactly how clueless he was.

"Yes!" She says with an eager nod. "I can send it to you, or Bucky, so you can look at it if you want to." She says overly excited, bouncing a little in her chair.

"Send it to me Abbs, I will show it to him." Bucky really didn't want Steve to get his email spammed by a billion questions since he barely could even open it.

Steve got a little stroke of inspiration. “Maybe I could come speak to your class as part of your presentation?” he suggested. His heart lifted at the look of joy on her face. “I’m not perfect at public speaking, but I could give it a shot. I’ll come around and we can practice together, if you want?”

Winifred was listening, VERY impressed with her son’s boyfriend. His treatment of Abby was nothing short of incredible.

Abby bounced eagerly “Yes yes, of course! I’ll get a picture from you when you come around to practice, it’ll be great!”

It wasn’t long after that that everyone was told goodbye, and Bucky and Steve got into the car to head home. The Barnes family gave them a Hungarian sendoff, standing on the porch and waving as the car pulled away.

“Y’did great” said Bucky as they drove “Really, y’did. I’m so damn proud of you; they loved ya, Stevie, they really did.”

“Good” said Steve, smiling over at Bucky. 

The car ride passed with only the radio, and when they got back Steve got out of the car and together they headed upstairs. They found a package outside the door, and Steve looked at Bucky in confusion as the soldier’s eyes widened. 

“It’s here!” cheered Bucky, grabbing it and hastily unlocking the door. Once they were both in, Bucky hastily set the box down on the counter. “Open it open it open it!” He was so DAMN excited, and Steve looked at him quizzically.

The super soldier stepped forward and pulled the box open, easily tearing away the tape. Inside….

“Oh my God...Bucky…it’s a record player…”

Steve carefully took out the device, peeling away the protective wrap and setting it gingerly down on the counter.

“A’right, time for this!” Bucky rushed to his bedroom, and after some digging returned with some records. Three in total. “Got the Andrews Sisters, Billie Holiday, and one that might be a coupla years after ya time: Frank Sinatra. Bet ya like Sinatra. S’got an Otis Redding cover on ‘ere”

Steve silently plugged in the record player and gingerly put on the Sinatra record. The smooth sound filled the room, and Steve stepped toward Bucky. “Come here” he said softly.

Bucky stepped forward curiously, and Steve lay a hand on his boyfriend’s waist and took his hand. Bucky’s other hand rested on Steve’s shoulder and they started to dance as Sinatra sang.

‘She may be weary…  
Women do get weary...  
Wearing the same shabby dress.  
And when she’s weary…  
Try a little tenderness…’

“All my life” said Steve “I’ve been running away from who I was...from what I was, and running toward who I thought I was supposed to be. I never thought I’d find someone who I cared about so much. Who I loved so much. I do love you, Bucky. You know that, don’t you? That I love you?”

“I know, Stevie. I love you too. Holy shit, I love you…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be smut, smut, smut!


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve has his first time, and Bucky has his best <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: This has Switch Stucky in it, so they’ll take turns topping (bless) in several chapters. This one has Top! Steve

The dancing lasted...how long? Steve wasn’t sure, and he really didn’t care. Bucky was warm and soft against him, and Steve nosed at his boyfriend’s neck and thanked whoever was listening for this moment. It was just...just perfect. Steve pulled back enough to look down at Bucky, smiling fondly. He leaned in for a soft kiss, breaking it to give Bucky time to breath. “How did I get so lucky?” asked Steve softly...and genuinely. He never expected his life to go in this direction. “I woke up to you, not understanding or knowing what we would be...what we would do…”

“I c’n say the same. I mean, I never thought I’d be grateful to lose m’arm, but if I hadn’t I’d never’a been here with ya. Ya mean so much t’me Stevie. I really do love ya. Y’have no idea how much.” Bucky’s voice was rough, possibly showing that he was close to tears. He lay a few innocent kisses on Steve’s shoulder and neck as the song came to an end.

Steve shivered slightly at the feeling, tipping his head to the side to provide more room. Bucky was surprised by this reaction, but kept laying kisses anywhere he could reach. “Stevie?” Bucky sounded worried. Steve had whimpered “Hey, Stevie, y’oka-”

He didn’t get farther. Steve had pushed the soldier firmly against the wall, catching his lips in a kiss. Bucky’s hands slid up the strong back, then went up to rake his nails through the blonde hair. Steve hissed and whispered “Jesus...Bucky, tell me to stop if you need me to…”

“Don’ stop” gasped out Bucky “Please God don’t stop, I don’ want you t’ stop, I want you to keep going PLEASE…”

The begging? That did things to Steve he hadn’t expected as he looked at Bucky, a growl tearing itself from his throat “Shit” he whispered “Beg me. Now.” He leaned in and bit at Bucky’s neck, sucking marks and infinitely careful not to cause pain. 

Bucky yelped, trying to not make too much voice. “Please sir, please, I’m beggin’ ya, I need ya PLEASE...want you on me, want you IN me, please sir please! I’ll do anythin’, whatever ya want...name it, I just need ya pretty cock in me, please sir...” His voice was hoarse with desire as he tried to focus despite the press of Steve’s hard dick (holy shit it was big) against his thigh and the feeling of his lover’s teeth and lips against his neck. “Please God, I need ya...I’ll do anythin’, I’ll get on my knees an’ I’ll choke on ya…”

Steve sputtered in shock, but not for a bad reason. It was because suddenly he wanted Bucky on his knees more than he wanted anything else. Bucky, however, pulled back.

“Honey, we don’t gotta, I shoulda checked-”

“Shut up” hissed Steve, leaning in and capturing Bucky’s lips in a kiss. He was so damn sure he wanted this, though he also knew he’d need some direction the farther they got into it. Still, talking seemed to be something he did pretty easily. “You’re so pretty” he whispered “So fucking pretty…could’ve died if I couldn’t put my damn lips on you... You’d look even prettier on your knees in front of me, with your mouth open...” 

“Y’got such a mouth y’self, Cap’n” breathed Bucky, who had a blissful smile on his face, between kisses. “Never heard ya cuss so much.” God, the more Steve talked, the more Bucky NEEDED him. Bucky could FEEL Steve’s capable hands trailing across his body, touching gently, exploring the ridges of muscle and the curve of the soldier’s frame. It made him sigh in pleasure as Steve (suddenly tentative) touched his ass. “Fuck Cap’n, never knew ya to be so...so…”

The title in the midst of this situation sent a spike of possessive happiness through Steve. It was even better than being called ‘sir’. He met Bucky’s eye and, still looking at him, lifted his lover’s metal hand. His tongue slid across the middle finger, tasting it...and it wasn’t artificial, it was BUCKY, it was HIM. 

Bucky’s eyes widened as he watched his finger slid all the way into Steve’s mouth, felt the suck and warmth. Bucky’s hips bucked instinctively as he gasped “Lemme get my mouth on ya dick, please Cap’n, please...I gotta, I gotta get on my knees in front of you…”

Steve moved fast, pulling the finger out of his mouth and pinning each of Bucky’s wrists against the wall, growling “Not yet. You for damn sure don’t tell me what to do” He paused, taking a second to look at Bucky’s face and make sure there was no pain or fear there. He took a break from the dominance that was looming, his instincts protesting. Stamping that down, he started to kiss more gently across his lover’s cheeks and nose, spending time on his lips. He noted that Bucky was pushing against the grip on his wrists, and released him immediately...only to be caught off guard as Bucky dragged his nails down the super soldier’s stacked chest, catching his nipples. 

Steve hissed eagerly and stepped back, toeing off his shoes and socks and firmly pushing Bucky down onto his knees. Here, Steve hesitated, his confidence slipping. Bucky knew what to do here. His hands slid across Steve’s thighs and up to the zip of his pants. He undid belt and button, managing to slide Steve’s pants down. He watched Steve slide out of them, leaving his dick straining against his underwear. Bucky whined softly, DESPERATE to get his lips around it. “Stevie…” he breathed. His fingers hooked into the waistband of the boxers and pulled it down...and holy. Fucking. Christ. Steve was BIG, his cock heavy and flushed, and Steve looked away from Bucky, suddenly self conscious. 

Bucky, noticing this, started to massage Steve’s ass with his left hand. “Y’okay Stevie? Y’alright? Wanna stop?”

“God, please don’t stop...please don’t stop, I-GAH!”

Because Bucky had, without warning, started to stoke across Steve’s dick, flicking his wrist as he pumped steadily. Bucky had been given permission, and he intended to take it. He could hear the breathy, surprisingly high-pitched gasps coming from the super soldier. What a fucking turn on. Bucky slid his tongue along the underside of his boyfriend’s cock, and then slowly slid it into his mouth, taking his sweet time.

Steve’s hands slid into Bucky’s hair, instinctively guiding him, trying to keep himself stable enough to not push Bucky too far, but it was difficult. What he WANTED to do was buck his hips and shout in pleasure, but even he knew better, knew that it would choke Bucky and ruin this experience. Oh God, Bucky’s mouth was hot and slick, and Steve was trying not to SCREAM with how good it felt.

What was that sound? What was THAT SOUND? That high whining noise that seemed to fill the room, interspersed with indecent moans and whimpers of ‘Bucky...Bucky yes, yes…’

Oh. That was Steve. That was coming out of his own mouth. Looking down, Steve could see his cock surrounded by those swollen lips, and he suddenly felt short of breath in the best way. He couldn’t even reflect on how lucky it felt; too distracted, too hazy because it felt so good and Bucky was sucking him off and oh God oh God….

“Bucky Bucky Bucky Bucky…” It was a chant, a worshipful moaning cry of his partner’s name. Bucky looked up at him from under long lashes, eyes bright with mischief and excitement as he noted that Steve was coiling like a spring. He pulled back just enough to properly see his lover’s face, watching Steve’s jaw go slack and his eyes flutter closed as he let out the loudest moan yet and came hard. 

It was a surprising amount but Bucky managed to swallow it all, feeling Steve’s hands go slack in his hair and hearing him whimper and keen. But Bucky was stunned. Steve was still hard after THAT, but looked distracted, and Bucky (wiping his mouth just in case) stood up and ran his hands up Steve’s flushed chest. “Hey baby...hey, lookit me…”

Nope. Steve picked Bucky up and carried him to the bedroom. He for damn sure wanted MORE, and trusted Bucky to tell him to stop if needed.

Bucky started to laugh. He was just TOO happy, this was SO damn good. He couldn’t get over it. Steve carried Bucky to their bed and flopped back onto it, breaking his love’s fall. Bucky leaned over and kissed his partner again. “How are ya still hard after tha’ Cap’n?”

“Wild guess is serum.” responded Steve snarkily, in a surprising move for the typically shy interpersonal interaction of the man.

“Yeah? Bet I can get a round or two out of ya.” Bucky slid off of Steve and moved to his bedside table to get out a bottle of lube. He turned to see that Steve had pulled off his shirt and groaned softly. First time he’d seen the Captain 100% naked and it was KILLING him. Bucky set the lube on the bed and started to strip his own clothes off.

Steve sat up on his elbows to watch, his gaze tracing across every inch of revealed skin. He took in scars and toned muscle, the line of dark hair from stomach to the now revealed crotch. His eyes widened at the sight of Bucky’s heavy cock, and he whimpered softly. Bucky cracked a smile. 

“Like what you see...sir?” The last word was confident, but also a test.

Steve gasped in shock and eager pleasure. “Oh my God…” he whispered “Yes, you’re damn right I do…”

“Good” purred Bucky “Cause I’m gonna ride you til don’t know ya own name”

Steve whimpered “Yessss…” he breathed out. God, he’d never FELT like this before. They had been DANCING just a minute ago and now this, now THIS…

“Please, please Bucky please…”

“Tha’s right honey, beg me.” Bucky smirked as he looked 

“Please Bucky, I’ll do anything, I’ll do anything to have you, I want you so badly, wanna be in you, wanna feel you on me, I’m begging you, listen I’m being so good, I’m so good for you...please sir, please…”

“Look at me baby…”

There was a soft ‘snk’ as the lube bottle was opened, and that plus the gentle order practically forced Steve’s eyes open. He watched as Bucky straddled him, getting up onto his knees and covering his own fingers in lube. Bucky reached around himself and Steve watched in fascination as Bucky settled onto his own fingers, moaning aloud. 

Steve’s large hands came out and steadied Bucky’s hips, feeling the muscle twitch under Bucky’s own ministrations. Steve could’ve choked at how beautiful his lover looked, his eyelids fluttering and his body rocking gently to push his fingers in deeper. Two had gone at the same time, and Bucky groaned eagerly at the feeling. Steve fumbled for the bottle and said firmly “Move your hand.”

“But Cap…” Bucky caught the look on Steve’s face and jerked in shock as he realized what was about to happen. Removing his fingers, he rolled off and settled onto his back. 

Steve was working purely on instinct as he shifted Bucky’s ankles up to Steve’s own shoulders. Bucky moaned at the slight burn, because GOD being laid out like that, so vulnerable, was amazing. He watched as Steve slathered lube across his fingers. The super soldier was very careful, going one finger at a time. Bucky keened “STEVE! Yes yes yes...keep going, please…”

Steve, noting what had made Bucky so vocal, crooked his finger again. He watched in surprise as Bucky screamed in pleasure, so loudly that the neighbors surely heard. Steve’s breath was coming in little shudders, and suddenly he heard himself talking.

“You’re so damn pretty. I can see you shaking and squirming, hear you moaning and screaming...I know it feels good, doesn’t it?” His free hand wrapped around the massage Bucky’s thigh as he slid in another finger. Bucky was shaking desperately, his head tossing back and forth. 

“Stevie, Stevie...please, I’m ready, I swear...I need you, I need you fuck me, please fuck me, PLEASE…”

Steve slid in another finger, working the submissive man open. This hadn’t been how Steve thought the experience would go, but CHRIST he loved it. He could still hear Bucky desperately begging, his voice high and wailing. The sounds coming from him were indecent, and even Steve could tell he was inches from going over the edge. No. Not yet.

Steve carefully pulled out his fingers, and Bucky protested desperately “No no no don’t stop, please don’t stop….”

Steve slipped backward so that Bucky could drop his legs, and Steve moved around the edge of the bed and (just for a moment) leaned in to kiss his lover “Shhhh…” he said gently “Do you want to…?” Steve remembered every word Bucky had said about consent, and would immediately stop if needed.

“Steve, I’m beggin’ ya, I’ll do anythin’ for you t’fuck me silly, please, please Stevie…” Bucky was, indeed, begging, and opened his eyes to see Steve moving around the bed. 

“How d’you want to-”

“I wanna see you” said Bucky immediately “Sometime we’ll do it with me on m’knees, but righ’ now I wanna see ya…”

Steve nodded, and Bucky watched the soldier coat his dick in lube. He noted that Steve seemed overwhelmed with the feelings, the scents, the atmosphere of it all. Bucky was about to say something to him when Steve braced partially over him, pressing the head of his cock gently against Bucky’s entrance. Bucky gasped at the feeling, and whispered “Please Stevie...please…”

There was a slight burn for Bucky as Steve pushed in, but it was worth it to feel so fucking full. His legs hitched instinctively up to Steve’s hips as he looked up at his lover. Steve, he noticed, was taking deep breaths as though struggling to stay in control, steadying himself. Bucky reached up to tip Steve’s chin, meeting his eye. Though Bucky was a little sweaty and panting, he took a moment to whisper “I love you” and lean up to encourage a kiss.

Oh God, it was intoxicating, almost too much. Steve was overwhelmed with the sensation of Bucky; being in Bucky, on top of Bucky, and most of all in love with Bucky. He leaned down to kiss back, deepening it. Between each connection of their lips, Steve repeated “I love you. I love you. I love you.”

Bucky carefully shifted his hips, and Steve gasped and started to move in turn. Steve knew he needed to be careful here, and was. Each thrust was slow and deliberate, picking up speed but careful not to go too hard or hurt. Bucky’s breath was coming in gasps, and that only became more apparent when Steve leaned down to suck marks in the soldier’s neck. 

“Yes…” whimpered Bucky “Please...please more…”

“You wanna be marked?” The filthy words were coming from Steve before he knew it. “You want the world to see, to know that you’re mine? You want to tell everyone what we are? I don’t care who knows...no, I do, I want everyone to know that you’re MINE, and mine only.”

“Ah shit Cap’n, ya killin’ me” whined Bucky, his hips lifting with each of Steve’s thrusts to meet him “Please, please...harder, PLEASE!”

It had been asked for, and Steve would oblige, though he was still careful. He could feel Bucky beneath him, and knew they were both getting way too carried away. That Bucky’s neck would be covered in hickeys tomorrow, that Steve’s own back would have long scratches for the next 24 hours or so, that anyone right down to the street could hear them like this. And Steve? He didn’t care. He didn’t care at all, in fact, he wanted that. He wanted to walk into SHIELD tomorrow and see everyone’s face when they realized...when they KNEW. 

Steve could feel something odd in the air; through the sounds and smells of sex (now forever ingrained in his head) he also sensed Bucky’s muscles tensing as he gasped out Steve’s name over and over. Steve captured Bucky’s lips in a kiss, and a second later whatever angle he’d hit had Bucky screamed into Steve’s mouth “AGAIN!” tears rolled down his cheeks, but the good kind, the overwhelmed kind. “AGAIN, PLEASE!”

Steve’s hips rolled, making an effort to hit that place over and over, and then Bucky stiffened and the space between them was sticky and white. Steve kept fucking into him, but didn’t last much longer, and kissed his lover as he came in return. Steve stayed braced above him, finding it surprisingly difficult, but knowing instinctively that Bucky needed him right now. He pulled out slowly, carefully, and shifted onto his side. “Honey? Hey hey, you with me?” 

Steve pulled his blissed out boyfriend against his chest, cradling him there. “You did perfectly” whispered Steve, who honestly was the less experienced and should be the one being comforted. “You did beautifully, thank you…” Because that’d been Steve’s first time, and the way that had gone….Steve was pretty sure it’d been good. He’d have to ask Bucky later, but at that moment, Bucky mumbled something.

“That was best I ever ‘ad. Cause s’you, Stevie. And y’r my favorite. Always wanna be with you. S’that okay?”

“Yes Bucky. It’s okay for the rest of our lives.”

“S’gay” A soft kiss.

“Yes...it definitely is.”


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the aftermath of their first time together, they have a lot of affectionate cuddles, and something comes up that neither of them knew they needed to hear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The response here has been overwhelming. I've already decided to make this at least a two part series, but am going to finish my other fics (at least two of them) before I go to the next part. Obviously there are a few more chapters to come before I think about that! I thank you ALL for your clicks, your kudos, and your comments. Special thanks to Kagomelovesstucky, who has been here with me since the beginning of this account <3

As they lay there, with Bucky struggling to catch his breath and wrapped up in Steve’s arms, the soldier looked up at his love with a tired smile. “Y’were amazin’ Stevie...really ya were. M’so glad I gotta be with you...not jus’ like this, but in every way.”

Steve smiled fondly. “I do love you, Buck. Really. You’ve been my first kiss, and now...now this, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.” He meant it, too. He wanted Bucky forever, and had a lot to think about on how to make that happen. They’d known each other such a short time, but Steve really didn’t care. He just...wanted this. Cuddles and kisses and breakfasts and more...forever.

Bucky's smile was bright as the sun, and he pulled Steve in for a happy kiss. He felt the exact same way, and his heart soared because he just never wanted to be with another man! They were planning to go public too, so this would be perfect. "Good, cuz, y'can spend every night here. Really.”

Steve paused. “Like...live in this room? With you? Officially?” He beamed, his normally reserved smile full of joy. “Move my stuff in here, always sleep in this bed?”

“Well...yeah! I take it tha’s a yes?” Bucky was grinning cheekily, his nose crinkling in his excitement. He kissed Steve when his boyfriend nodded enthusiastically.

Steve kissed him back, keeping his arms around his naked lover and relaxing with the wonder of the moment. "Buck...I just..." As the kiss broke, he sounded worried. "I never thought I'd be allowed...never expected...and now I'm here, with you..." He smiled "Thank you." he said simply, and instead of another kiss, he hugged the other man close, careful as always not to hurt.

"Thank you back, Stevie. Y'really are amazing. And no, not because of the Cap thingy. I mean tha's cool, but... thank you for being Steve." Bucky’s voice was very soft. Steve was the amazing one. “I don’ love ya as Captain America. I love you as you. I love you as Steve.”

And then...then...Steve lost it. He just broke down in tears because he was so so tired. He'd spent decades in the ice, and before that he had been fighting and seeing death and starvation and the worst of humanity, with the rare versions of the best. He'd seen the man who helped him be the Captain get gunned down, had for a long time failed to catch his killer. He'd dragged people from living hells, had gone into the ice to save as many people as he could. Had woken up to confusion, and the miracle that was James Barnes. And so far, he hadn't really cried. Now he did. He didn't lean on Bucky physically; even if he’d wanted to, the way they were laying didn’t allow it. But he did turn his face into the crook of Bucky's neck and just...let go.

Bucky managed to maneuver them so that Bucky was holding Steve, just letting him cry, telling him softly he was doing great and that he should just let it all out. He didn’t shush or tell Steve to relax, because he WANTED Steve to finally have the catharsis of tears. Bucky just hummed a little while holding his partner, rubbing his back and shoulders as best he could while one arm stayed wrapped around him.

When Steve finally pulled himself together...God, how long were they there?...he sat up slowly, pawing at his eyes and looking more worn out than before, though also...more relaxed. "Thank you." he said again, this time softer, looking up at meet Bucky's eyes. His eyes were a little pink, though obviously not as swollen as a normal person's would've been. “Let me...let me run you a bath-”

“Us. Run us a bath, yeah? We could both use some hot water and some cleanup” pointed out Bucky.

Steve nodded, a small smile on his face “Us, then. Hey honey? I don’t love you as my guide, or my support. I love you as you. I love you as Bucky.”

Bucky beamed, because GOD that felt good, and then stiffly got out of bed with his love. Together they made their way to the bathroom, running the water and lighting a few candles. Steve settled in first, with Bucky leaned back against him so that they could soak for a while before they cleaned themselves off. They didn’t speak; they didn’t need to talk all the time. The silence wasn’t uncomfortable at all!

When they were clean (funnily enough, they’d helped wash each other. There was a sense of trust there that couldn’t be ignored) they got out of the tub and dried off. With towels wrapped around their waists, Steve went to what would soon be an empty room to put on some clean clothes while Bucky got dressed and changed the sheets of THEIR bed.

“So...bout earlier. My family really likes you” he commented, as he slid under the blanket “Like, they like ya a lot.”

"They do?" asked Steve hopefully "Good, because it'd be sad if they didn't." He scooted into bed beside Buck and rolled onto his side, looking at his boyfriend. "I'm glad it was you I woke up to." he said softly.

"Because of my dashing profile, right?” His smile was cheeky as he leaned in and stole a kiss from Steve. "M'happy they put me on it, too. I mean, wouldn' have met ya if not." Which was true; Bucky very likely would never in his entire life have met Steve.

“Can’t imagine my life without you now” Said Steve clearly “Not just because you’re showing me around, but also because...well, you treat me like a person. Not Captain America. You treat me like Steve.”

"I like Steve." Bucky says and shuffles close, pulling Steve close too and stealing a few kisses. "Seriously, Stevie, y're a person, and I love ya, as a person. Like I said earlier, the Captain America thing, s'just a job. Like how I ain't a soldier unless I'm in that position, ain't a car mech unless I'm at the garage."

Steve blinked quickly, his heart hurting with how full it feels. “Thank you.” He said softly, cupping his face. “I love you, thank you, I love you, I love you.” He was laughing now. “I love you Bucky, I love you!” He felt giddy, he was so damn happy.

Bucky laughed as he shifted closer to Steve, kissing him and just enjoying how happy he suddenly looked. "Thank you too Stevie." Bucky murmured. "Seriously, didn' know I'd ever be this lucky, then here y'are, jus’... bein' you"

Steve held him close. Just wrapped his arms around Bucky and cuddled him, feeling the closeness of her bodies pressed together, dotting kisses all over his hair and murmuring sweet nonsense into his ear.

The next morning, Steve woke still holding Bucky. Maybe a little too tightly, though hopefully not enough to hurt or keep his boyfriend awake. Steve slowly released him, letting him settle back in bed and covering him with a blanket, before getting out of bed, trying not to wake the man up.

Convinced that Bucky was still asleep, Steve leaned against the doorway and watched him for a second before saying "If you ever get tired, it's okay to walk away. I know I'm nothing to sneeze at, with all my baggage. I live in fear of nightmares, of muscle spasms, of the serum suddenly fading and leaving me back where I was...unable to help. I love you. But I'm scared, Bucky. So scared you'll get tired. But I hope this gets through to you. If you get tired...it's okay to walk away." He turned to leave, hating that that needed to be said but glad he’d said it. Until...

"Ain't goin' nowhere ya potato." Bucky muttered sleepily from the bed, mostly asleep but having woken up somewhat when Steve left the bed. "Stuck with me to the end'o the line."

Steve blinked in surprise, and a little bit of horror. Awake Bucky wasn't supposed to hear that. But the words made him smile, just a little. "I just want you to know it's alright if you change your mind." he said firmly.

"An I say y're a potato for bein' silly. I ain't goin no nowhere." He liked Steve, baggage and all. "I know y're like, born in the dark ages doll face, but I don' give a shit. I like ya with all ya issues, just as y'seem to like me and mine."

Steve crossed the bedroom again and sat on the edge of the bed, leaning down to kiss his boyfriend. He just loved kissing him! “I love you.”

"I love you too Stevie." Bucky pulled Steve in for another soft kiss after the first one. "I mean it, ya ain't some kinda burden."

"You aren't either, y'know" replied Steve, looking at Bucky earnestly when the kiss broke. "I feel so lucky to be with you. I'm here as long as you'll have me...y'know that, right?"

“Stevie...honestly, I’m kinda waitin’ for the day ya realize y’could have anyone. Y’got so many choices, an’ I’m not sure I’m the best one.” Bucky shook his head. “Just wish I was.”

“Oh Bucky…” Steve hadn’t realized that was on Bucky’s mind. “I’ve realized the attention I get, and the amount of people who’d want to be with them. I want to be with you. You love me as Steve, right? Well...I love you as Bucky.”

Bucky smiled, now more aware than before “Come back to bed, my best guy. Lemme cuddle ya a little bit more.

So Steve crawled into bed, and they lay there for a while...both lost in silent gratitude for the other.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve asks questions about musicians who are gay and bisexual, and Bucky brings up Freddie Mercury without thinking. Steve has questions, and Bucky answers, explaining about AIDS. It’s hard for Steve to hear, but he's happy that the two musicians they talked about had good lives.
> 
> Steve also makes a decision about the fact that it's time to make a statement.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow wow wow! We’re nearly at 2700 clicks. This is one of my most popular fics, and I can’t be grateful enough. As stated in the previous chapter, this fic will soon be coming to a close, and I will finish two others before I start on part two of this one! Thank you all so much for EVERYTHING; I am so so grateful for all the responses. Thank you!

After a while, both men knew they needed to get out of bed. Due to the speed with which Steve’s beard grew, he needed to shave again, and Bucky needed to get ready for the day himself. He wanted to shower again (he was a morning shower kind of guy when he could) and grab a quick bite to eat before they went in to Stark Tower. As they got up, Steve’s eyes skimmed over Bucky’s well-marked neck. A smirk crossed the blonde’s face; an unusually cocky one.

Bucky caught his eye and smiled “You admiring ya handywork...sir?” He had decided to poke at that little button at every opportunity, and now was definitely one. He watched Steve go red and his eyes narrow, and laughed “Too easy” he said as he snatched his towel off the hook on the back of the door. “Way too easy.”

“Oh hush” snorted Steve “When you call me ‘captain’ in the middle of things, it admittedly gets me going a lot more…Thankfully, I have more self control when it’s in public.” He wasn’t so sure about that now, and later he would discover just how much it got him going, even when it wasn’t the right time. For now though, he watched Bucky walk away, swinging his hips slightly.

Steve licked his lips, tempted to follow his love into the shower for another round. He resisted, and instead went into the bathroom to shave. He listened to Bucky sing in the shower, the same Otis Redding cover from the night before. Sinatra’s was a lot smoother and softer, but Steve found himself curious about the original. He’d have to find a way to listen to it. Then, he noted that the song had changed, and Bucky was singing something else in his clear, throaty voice.

“It’s a little bit funny…  
This feeling inside…  
Not one of those you can  
Easily hide…  
I don’t much money but  
Boy if I did  
I’d buy a big house where  
We both could live…”

Steve found himself swaying slightly as he shaved, still careful not to cut himself. These razors were so damn nice. Safety razors were so much worse in his day, so this was pretty cool. He paused as he heard a particular part of the song.

“How wonderful life is  
While you’re in the world…”

A smile spread across Steve’s face, and the result was that he almost cut himself. He was more careful after that. He hummed the tune quietly as the song continued, but the shower turned off before the song ended, and Steve made a noise of protest. He was done shaving and had leaned against the sink listening. Bucky heard the noise and poked his head around the curtain, grinning. He saw Steve’s eyes go wide with hope, and started to sing again.

“Yours are the sweetest eyes  
I’ve ever seen…”

Steve went slightly pink, but extended the towel to Bucky, who wrapped it around his own waist. “Sap.” said the metal armed shoulder fondly. “Tha’s Elton John. Bet ya you could meet him some time. He’s queer...came out in-”

Steve had stared at him, making a noise of shock and looking horrified.

“Oh shit, Stevie NO!” Bucky held up his hands “No no, Stevie, people use queer now. Not everyone, but lotsa people use it in a good way. M’sorry, wasn’ thinkin’. I’m not callin’ him a bad thing at all, and won’t use it again in front o’ you.” He looked apologetic, taking a few tentative steps forward.

Steve took a few deep breaths “Sorry” he muttered “Gaps in my knowledge, that used to be...a really awful thing…” He made himself calm down, because he knew Bucky, and knew that Bucky would NEVER say that against someone...especially after last night!

“No, I know Stevie, I jus’ wasn’ thinkin’...can I come over, keep tellin’ ya about Elton John?” Bucky felt horrible, but saw that Steve had nodded. Bucky quickly came forward and wiped a little shaving cream out of Steve’s ear. “He came out as bisexual, like you, in the ‘70’s...but late 80’s he came out as gay. Like me. Steve...I’m real sorry. I gotta think ‘bout that stuff.”

“It’s just not something I knew” Steve shook his head with a little smile. “It’s alright, Buck.” He then registered something, and looked conflicted “Was it hard for him?”

“Hm? Oh, Elton John. Yeah, he had a rough time, but he’s married now! Got a kid or two I think. There’ve been others too! This guy named Freddie Mercury, he was bisexual for sure. But…” Bucky suddenly realized he’d made a mistake, and his face fell.

Steve’s heart sank. “What happened to him?” He asked softly. Nothing good, it seemed.

“Now, Stevie, I’m clean, I promise. But Freddie...he had a lot of problems. Did tons o’ drugs, slept with a lotta guys. One of those guys was sick...there wasn’t a treatment like there is now. No cure still, but he coulda lived just as long as you or me. Back then though...s’called AIDS, and back then ya didn’ live. He was with this guy after ‘at, and they were real happy until the day Freddie died. I think it was like...the 90’s. ‘91 or ‘92.”

Steve nodded. “People got sick from sex when I was a kid...but I didn’t know people could die. And we definitely didn’t talk about it.” He paused. “It’s common with men, isn’t it?” He could tell by the way the topic had come up.

“Yeah...the way a lotta men have sex, kinda like us...it makes it easier to pass on. Stevie, don’ worry. I get tested every 6 months, jus’ in case, and take meds called PReP that keep me from gettin’ it. Anyway, sex like ‘at makes it easier to get it if ya partner does. That an’...what?”

Because Steve looked at Bucky, shaking his head. “I don’t get sick, Bucky. Even if you were positive...which I trust that you aren’t...it probably wouldn’t be possible for me.”

“Well, if that were relevant, that’d be good. But it ain’t, cause I got tested ‘bout a week before ya came out of the ice, and I was clean as bleach.” Bucky leaned up to kiss him. “I’ll talk to ya about other gay famous people some time, yeah?”

“Do you think...we could listen to Freddie Mercury and Elton John? It might be nice to know...and anyway, I want to…” Steve cleared his throat “I want to come out to the public at some point soon, when you’re ready. It might help to know they were okay. Because I know we’ll be okay. Anyway...who’d dare mess with Captain America and his boyfriend?”

Bucky snorted “What? You gotta boyfriend cutie? Well tha’s a bummer, I was gonna ask ya out t’ dinner.”

Steve blinked at him, and opened his mouth to explain that he thought THEY were boyfriends when he realized it was a joke and VERY gently swatted Bucky “Oh hush. Let’s get dressed so that we can head to the tower.”

“I’m gonna put makeup on m’neck first!”

Steve groaned “But…” He REALLY wanted to be able to see those marks all day. Steve, for once, wished he could bruise a little more for some long-term hickeys.

Bucky raised his eyebrows, leaning against the sink. “What, ya want people to see or somethin’? Well well well honey...ain’t we a lil’ frisky.” He kind of loved how possessive Steve seemed, and how pissy he seemed at the idea of the hickeys getting covered up.

“Well, I’d like people to see them and not flirt! You’re really handsome, Bucky, plenty of people want you.” Steve had a tinge of jealousy in his voice, which made Bucky laugh a little. 

“A’right, a’right, no makeup! But expect some stares, Stevie, and the public are gonna know for sure!” Bucky wanted to be sure that Steve knew what he was doing. And the super soldier did.

They walked to the elevator of Stark Tower when they arrived, and were immediately getting stares...not just for the dark splotches on Bucky’s neck, but also because Steve had his hand on Bucky’s lower back. They rode up to the war room together, with Steve keeping his hand on Bucky the whole time. Suddenly, he felt willing to take on the world for Bucky. He’d always had that in his head, but after last night it was a hundred times stronger.

They stepped into the war room for their meeting and there were a few people already there. Natasha glanced up and met Bucky’s eyes, her gaze moving over his neck. She didn’t comment. More people filed in, and when Tony (who was last) saw the situation, he commented “So…”

There was a beat of silence where everyone (except Steve) held their breath. 

“Who topped?”

Bruce choked, Pepper swatted him, Bucky went red, but Steve? Steve made eye contact and said “Me. Why, you want to try something out? I’m a taken man, Stark, but in another life…”

Bucky GUFFAWED loudly, and the room dissolved into giggles. This time it was TONY’S turn to go red as they set about business, talking about future missions, uniforms, the words. 

At the end of the meeting, they were all packing up when Steve said “Miss Potts?”

“Pepper, please. What can I do for you?”

“Er...think you could call a press conference?”

“Of course. What is this about? I need to know to give the news a little bit of warning, without giving everything away.” She looked at him curiously, though in her heart she knew.

“I’m done hiding” said Steve “I’m bisexual, and it’s time to tell everyone.”

“I’ll be up there with you” said Bucky. “If you’re ready to tell them you’re bi, I’m ready to be totally public as your boyfriend.” 

“Good” said Steve. “Let’s do this.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! Hope you all enjoyed the serious beginning and fun end to this chapter! It’s worth noting that I’m very familiar with the AIDS epidemic even though I’m HIV/AIDS negative, as my mother pretty much worked Ground Zero, Chicago, in the 90’s. She’s a wonderful woman, and back then they didn’t really know much about it, so she was incredibly brave and strong to do it. I’m so proud of my mom!


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pepper reveals to Steve the name of her and Tony's baby girl. The press conference takes place, and the response is a good one!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TWO MORE CHAPTERS LEFT IN THIS SECTION AFTER THIS ONE! Then I'll finish up two other fics before I move on! I love you all so much, and hope this has lived up to your expectations!

“Steven? Come here a moment?” 

Steve looked up from where he was adjusting his uniform. He was so nervous...SO nervous. He was determined to go public with Bucky, sick of hiding, sick of being seen by the world as STRAIGHT. He wasn’t. He was bisexual, and he was SO proud of that fact. He turned when he heard Pepper’s voice, and moved over to her. Every time he saw her, he remembered reading Tony’s file. Reading that he was married to her, and that she was pregnant. She was small for how far along she was, but it was clear since he knew. 

Pepper took hold of his hands and gently rested them on her belly, slightly swollen with baby. She spoke softly “You’re going to be a wonderful uncle, Steven. She’ll be proud to have you in her life...especially with how strong you’re being.” She glanced over her shoulder at where Tony was talking to Bruce. “Tony’s bisexual too. Hardly anyone knows, but he’d want you to. I don’t doubt that for a moment. He doesn’t think it’s relevant because we’re together...but it always is. If you were with a woman, it’d be relevant then too. Trust me. You’re being incredible. Not to speak poorly of my husband, but he’d rather fight for anyone else than for himself. I’m proud of you.”

Steve blinked quickly, looking her in the eye and feeling the baby bump very gently. “Thank you, Pepper. Really, thank you.” He could FEEL the life in her, sense the baby within. “A girl?” he asked, having caught that.

Pepper smiled “Morgan Stephanie Stark.”

There was a long silence as Steve stared at her. “W-Wait, like-”

“Well, we can’t well name a girl Steve.” She pointed out. “Stephanie is as close as we can get.” She could see something strange coming over his face, and was about to tell him that they could change it...that they didn’t need to do that, when he pressed a kiss to her forehead and whispered “Thank you, Pepper.”

She gently patted his cheek, and stepped away to go check her hair over. Steve stood there in silence until he felt a hand on his arm. He looked over quickly. For once, he didn’t feel like he was in trouble over this. He wasn’t having a panic attack or experiencing any bullshit like that. He was just...just ready. Ready to tell the world who he was, and what THEY were. Ready to end the charade of being straight when he WASN’T.

Bucky squeezed his arm gently. “Havin’ a good talk with Pep?” He could see that whatever Pepper had said meant a lot, so he wanted to make sure Steve wasn’t getting too lost in his own head. It was possible that praise was accompanied by doubt for the super soldier. But Steve? He smiled.

“She’s an incredible woman” he replied “She...she decided to name their daughter Morgan Stephanie.” He looked down at Bucky with a fond smile. “I never expected...never thought…”

“Ah Stevie, y’know Tony prolly had a part in tha’ too, right? I know it was a rough start, but he always looked up t’you, ‘specially when he was a kid.” Bucky squeezed Steve’s arm again, and then glanced over because Pepper had stepped out from behind the curtain. They could hear her speaking.

“Thank you all so much for coming. I know you all have so many questions, as we only recently had a press release with myself, Tony Stark, and a few other members of the team we have assembled known as The Avengers. Our task is to keep this city, as well as the rest of the world, as safe as we can. With myself as the liason to the public, I am happy to announce that we have a statement coming from Steven Grant Rogers, publically known as Captain America. I know the rumors have been flying that the man in uniform was a hoax, or a replacement. But the reality is, this is him. He’s here to tell you all something, and I INSIST that you hold your questions until he is done, at the risk of losing your Stark Tower press passes. Thank you very much. Captain Rogers?”

Steve took a deep breath. Through her introduction, he had been holding Bucky’s hand. They’d discussed that Steve would go out alone at first to give his statement, and now he was more scared than he could’ve expected. This went against everything he’d been raised to do, and he moved out from behind the curtain to the podium, trying not to reveal his panic. He did a pretty damn good job. He stepped in front of the microphone as a murmur passed through the reporting crews, and he stood there in silence for a moment before he started.

“The explanation for how I am alive, without aging or damage, is complicated. I’ll share that with you all another time. Today, this press conference, isn’t for that talk. Today is for something else.” He paused as total silence fell but for the clicking of cameras and the sound of pens scribbling. “My name is Steven Grant Rogers. I was born on July 4th, 1918, here in New York City. I was raised in a time when who and what I am was punishable, whether intentional or not, by death. I am bisexual.”

The cameras stopped. The scribbling stopped. Shocked, amazed silence fell. Steve took a deep breath and said clearly “I know this may come as a surprise...in fact, I’m sure it does. And I’m sure it will aggravate and frustrate people. It will make people angry. But if ONE person feels better because of what I say here today, then it will have been worth any fury directed my way. I am not ashamed of who or what I am, though I was raised to be. I am not ashamed to call James Barnes my boyfriend. He was the one I woke up to. He is the one I want to spend my life with. I am proud to know him, to be with him, and to love him. I am bisexual...and nothing and nobody can take that away from me. Buck?”

There was a shout from the reporters as a man impeccably dressed in a military uniform stepped out from behind the curtain, his dark hair neatly parted, and a big smile on his face. He stood beside Steve and held his hand. Steve felt tension leave his body at the touch. “Let me make something perfect clear” he said firmly “I’m not afraid of the results of this. My only desire is to live authentically and happily. This team is my family. This man is my family. And I’m not afraid to love who I love anymore. I’ll take questions now.”

It actually took a second for people to recover from there shock when hands started going up, shouting for Bucky or Steve, and Steve answered the first question, indicating a woman near the back. 

“Captain Rogers, when did you know? What would your mother think?” Her blonde hair was pulled into a tight bun as she addressed him, and people lifted cameras and pens alike to record or write down what was about to be said.

“I’ve known since I was 8 year old” he responded. “As other boys my age talked about women, I knew that I could love women or men. My mother was the only person I told, and she never flinched. She already knew, and supported me because we both were aware that it was impossible for me to be with a man. It isn’t anymore.”

“Sergeant Barnes! Sergeant Barnes!” at least three people were shouting for him, and Bucky pointed to one of them. A man this time.

“Sergeant Barnes, how does it feel to be dating Captain America? How does it feel to be dating America’s sweetheart?”

“Aw honey. I’m not dating him cause he’s the Cap’n. I’m dating him cause he’s Steve. I love ‘im as Steve.”


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of the press conference has some truly beautiful reactions from the fans.

The press conference lasted a full hour. It was long, exhausting, and worrisome, and by the time they got away from the ravenous group of reporters Steve genuinely felt like he might fall over. They got out of sight, and immediately he turned to Bucky and hugged him. He felt a growing sense of relief as they stood out of the public eye, even if it was just for this moment. He really didn’t want to look at the reactions that (based on what Bucky said) would already be pouring in. Despite what he’d said about not caring, it would still be hurtful to see an outpouring of hate toward him and Bucky.

That’s when Bucky’s phone rang. “Jus’ a sec, Stevie.” said Bucky quietly, pulling back enough to answer the phone. “Hey ma, I...oh! He saw?” Bucky hesitated “Wha’s he think? What...he knew!? Oh, tell him don’ call Stevie that” he was laughing.

Steve stood anxiously doing his best not to listen in even if he could. It was getting hard to resist, but finally Bucky hung up the phone. The blonde rung his hands together nervously. “So...what did she say?”

“My grandpa saw the release. He knew ya were around, but uh...he also knew you were bi. He figured y’were gay though. Says he’s damn proud of ya. Wants t’see ya.”

“He knew?” asked Steve in shock, and beamed “He knew? Wait, what did he call me?”

“A lil’ twink. Said tha’s what ya were back then. Oh...s’a thin gay guy, real sweet.” Bucky snorted at the look on Steve’s face. “Ya childhood friend didn’t give a shit Stevie. Now c’mon...let’s get home so we can relax a lil, and check out social media t’see what everyone’s sayin’. My phone’s goin’ nuts, bet it’s Twitter.”

Steve vaguely remembered the explanation of Twitter, but was kind of stuck on Harry’s view. “A twink” he huffed. “What would I be now? Did it change, or is it about attitude?” He was embarrassed that this was so well known by his best friend from the time. Apparently his mom AND Harry had known. He wondered who else had. Who else had been aware, had suspected? It didn't REALLY matter, not anymore.

“Oh it’s changed. Ya definitely a ‘twunk’ now.” Bucky was smirking in amusement, and barked out a laugh when Steve went cherry red. “Careful gramps, you’ll pass out.”

“Can’t faint, remember?” But Steve was smiling despite his blush. “So...do you think people have reacted okay?”

“Not sure, honestly. Ain’t gonna lie Stevie, there’s gonna be some shit...but I think for the most part people’ll be happy. Internet is full of gay kids.” He said it very matter-of-factly, so that it was impossible to view it as a kind lie.

As they got into the car, Steve asked “So...it’s like a safe haven? Why’s that?” He wanted as much information as he could get, honestly. The internet, as overwhelming as it was, didn’t sound so bad! It might even be good!

“Well, it’s kinda...people can be anonymous. And there’s a ton o’ great things that people can learn about. There’s more gender and sexuality stuff than you’d believe. Even romantic stuff s’different.”

“Wait wait...gender? There’s not just man and woman? Boy and girl?” Steve was feeling a little overwhelmed again. He would definitely respect and fight for the rights of...other genders, as well as the two he knew. But he didn't REALLY understand how it was possible either.

“Keep it t’gether Stevie. Let’s focus on t’day instead o’ worryin’ about tomorrow.” Bucky chuckled softly “But, there’s way more than that honey. We’ll get to it. F’now, let’s head back to the apartment. We gotta check out what people are postin’, cause my phone is goin’ nuts in my pocket.”

When they arrived, Steve changed out of his uniform and into more casual and comfortable clothes. Bucky did the same with his military uniform, and together they sat down on the couch. Steve sighed. “Your neck was barely visible in your uniform.” he said mournfully.

“Perve” responded Bucky with cheer, before opening his twitter. People were tagging Bucky in thousands of tweets, and Bucky started to scroll through. Of all of them, there were probably ten negative ones total. Going through the messages was a little overwhelming for Steve, but his eyes widened at the sight of some of them!

“#CaptainAmerica is out as #bisexual with his boyfriend James Barnes! They’re both so cute, and it’s so cool! YAY BISEXUAL FRIENDS!"

"Without a doubt the BEST PRESS CONFERENCE EVER! Next they'll say Tony Stark is #pansexual LOL! Can't wait to hear more about the Gays TM"

"I grew up with Captain America comics! I can't believe @luckybuckyb is dating THE Captain America. Lucky indeed"

\----Replied: "Didn't you hear? He's not dating Captain America! He's dating Steve!"

“Actually in tears. Can’t believe America’s Sweetheart is #bilikeme. What a great day!”

“Hey @luckybuckyb! Are kids in your future? Does Cap know you can get married?”

Steve read through these tweets, his eyes lingering on the one about kids and a marriage. He beamed as he lay his hand on Bucky’s thigh. “I can’t believe this is how everyone’s responding” he whispered “It’s like they’re proud of us.”

“Stevie...they’re happy. They ain’t had this before. People don’t usually say shit like this, y’know? You just walked out on stage and told everyone you were proud of who ya were. That makes people proud o’you. And happy too.”

Steve gently took the phone from Bucky, set it aside, and kissed him. He cupped Bucky’s face in hand and kissed him soft and sweet, taking his time and showing Bucky all the love in the world. Bucky shifted to settle over his lover’s lap. “So…” he said quietly between kisses “Did ya see the post ‘bout gettin’ married?”

“Yeah!” said Steve brightly.

“Some day, I’m gonna ask ya.”

“Not if I ask you first.”


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For the first time in decades, Steve gets to see Harold Barnes, and Bucky is with him all the way. Steve also meets his childhood friend's wife! It's a wonderful visit, and goes surprisingly well!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WELL! Final chapter of part one! Going to work on other fics and finish off two more before I start part 2! Also probably going to eventually start from scratch on Remembering Steve, with MUCH longer chapters, more drawn out, and more detail. But that's for the future! I love EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU! Thank you all!

“What are you talking about, Stevie?” The words were surprisingly formal coming from Bucky’s mouth as he watched his boyfriend pace. “You’re the one who wanted to see my grandpa. And hey, you’ll meet my grandma too!”

Steve was striding anxiously back and forth, dressed in a nice sweater with a collared shirt underneath and a pair of well-fitting dark jeans. He decided against his new favorite shoes (the Converse) and went instead with one of those brown semi-formal sneakers. It looked very...well, dashing on him! He had been reassured by Bucky through FIVE outfits that he was fine, this was fine, that was fine, it was good, I promise you look great…

Steve had trouble believing him, but if he didn’t settle on an outfit they were going to be LATE. So he’d gone with this one and called it a day. He felt so...so helpless, like he didn’t have any control over this situation and that’s what he WANTED. To know what was happening, to know where exactly they were going and to have some kind of schedule. But Bucky had explained that Harry was the same as always, and his wife matched him perfectly: They never planned or worried, they just Did. It was how Harry had always been, so it was no surprise that Helen was the same. His head was spinning. He didn’t even have any pictures of Harry to look at, and when Bucky had offered, Steve had decided against looking. He wanted, for some reason, to see his childhood friend and just understand that it was him. Jesus, the one thing he COULD have control over and for some reason every part of him protested against it. 

And he had just said to Bucky “I don’t know about this, honey. It just seems like a bad idea.”

So Bucky had responded “What are you talking about, Stevie? You’re the one who wanted to see my grandpa. And hey, you’ll meet my grandma too!” Bucky was kind of worried. He knew that it wasn’t just Steve that had been excited; his grandpa was too, and his grandma had heard all about Steve so she was curious to meet him. And now Steve was getting cold feet. Bucky stood up, and went to hold his hands, speaking him mind in his normal way. “S’okay if ya don’t wanna go see ‘em, Stevie. I just gotta give ‘em a call. All o’ us would rather ya wait til ya ready, y’know? Instead of makin’ yaself sick with worry.”

Steve shook his head “I want to see them, Bucky, just like we planned. But I...I’m…”

“You’re scared” said Bucky gently “S’okay to be scared. I’ll tell ya right now, my dad says he hasn’t changed...ever. And my grandma ‘n him are two peas. So relax, a’right? We can seriously stay home…”

“No, no. We should go, or we’ll be late.” Steve pulled on a jacket and together they stepped out. Bucky drove. Steve sat stiffly in the passenger seat, looking out the window. Every once in a while, Bucky brushed his fingers over Steve’s thigh. This wasn’t a panic attack (yet) but Bucky kept touching Steve to try to keep him out of one. 

Steve, meanwhile, was lost in thought. It was decades ago, and he and Harry were sitting outside, laughing over some stupid joke. They were having a good time when Sarah Rogers called them both inside. Steve and Sarah were poor as dirt, but Harry was always helpful...especially when Steve was sick. Picking up groceries for them, using his own pocket money to get Steve soup from the corner store, the works. Now they headed upstairs to find Sarah there smiling, wrapped in her mother’s old shawl (a hand-knit thing, used for years) with some food for both of them on the table. Sarah worked about 70 hours a week just to make ends meet, so she was always tired and they were constantly poor. But Harry always had a meal there, and Steve was always safe in the apartment even when he was ill.

Back in the present, Steve glanced over at Bucky. “You’re sure he’s alright with us being together? It wasn’t exactly something we talked about when we were close.”

“Oh I’m sure Stevie, don’ worry ‘bout that. He’s a good guy, and he’ll love ya all the same. We’ll be there in a minute. ‘Fore we get there, ya remember my nana’s name? Helen. And they have a cat, my cat’s mama, her name’s Jello.”

“Jello?” asked Steve, cracking a smile. “Their cat’s name is Jello?”

“They found ‘er as a street cat licking clean an old packet of jello, so tha’s what they called ‘er.” Bucky snorted “They’ve ‘ad pets as long as they’ve been t’gether.”

“I love pets, but I’d never really had any. Pet some street dogs, and of course I know your cat-”

“Our cat” corrected Bucky without thinking. He smiled a little as he registered that Steve had abruptly stopped arguing. “What, ya gonna argue that we don’t have a three-legged daughter?”

“Our cat” mused Steve, a smile growing across his face. “So...I suppose I do have a pet.” His heart lifted at the thought of yet ANOTHER sign that Bucky was so serious. It meant the world to him, honestly. He put his hand gently on Bucky’s thigh, and the rest of the drive was passed in silence. 

They left the main city and came out into a small suburb, with adorable little houses. It was a little ways away from Bucky’s parents’ house; about 45 minutes, and even if it had been closer, this was more for Steve and Harold than anyone else. They pulled up to the house and Steve sat there for a long time, looking straight ahead. The panic loomed in his head. He was sure this would go badly, and his heart was pounding, his eyes stinging, his breath coming sharply. He saw the curtain of the front window move, but couldn’t see whoever had looked out. He felt someone’s hand on his cheek, and turned to look at Bucky. Bucky was smiling gently as he murmured soft, soothing words. He hummed occasionally as they sat there, until Steve’s breathing eased and his tunnel vision faded. Finally, they got out of the car.

Before Steve got three steps away from the vehicle, the front door of the house opened and an old man stepped out, his eyes bright and his face wrinkled...but familiar. His hair was salt-and-pepper, not yet totally white, and his eyes were a soft hazel. “Steven Grant Rogers!” he laughed, strolling forward with surprising peppiness. “You haven’t aged a day, but SHIT you’ve buffed up!” His laugh was like thunder and lightning, booming and bright. His smile was familiar, and remiscient of the one Steve had seen on George Barnes.

Steve’s jaw dropped. That was Harry. That was definitely, 100% Harry. But with only a second’s hesitation, he quickly moved forward to close the difference and teased “Jesus Harry, you say I haven’t aged a day but you’ve aged a few hundred thousand of them!” Steve was doing his VERY best not to cry. Harry was much older, probably wiser, but the same goofy and lighthearted guy. “Married with kids and grandkids...never figured I’d date one of ‘em!”

“Y’know, I was thinking the same thing! Well, the last part!” Harry chuckled and smacked Steve on the arm. “Once upon a time I coulda taken you down…”

“You just took down my bullies instead. And I think the tables have turned by now” Steve could’ve shouted with how happy he was...but he didn’t. This wasn’t the time or place. Right now he needed to keep his head on straight, which he managed until he saw a beautiful elderly woman step out of the house. 

“Ah, Steve! This is my wife Helen. Helen, this is my friend Steve...the one I told you about!” He was beaming as he watched his wife extend her hand to shake, and saw the gentleness with which Steve did so. 

“It’s a pleasure, Helen. You two have a wonderful family; I’ve met most of them, I think.” He hoped he was coming off alright, but at that moment he was snapped back into reality as his old friend laughed.

“C’mon Steve, take a breather. This is my wife, not the president, and I’m your pal! Oh shit, oh shit…” Because Helen had knocked him on the arm “Come in!” he said quickly, and put an arm around Bucky. “Good to see you Jamie! I see you two have gotten frisky!” He poked at one of the blotches on Bucky’s neck, and the soldier blushed in embarrassment.

“Aw c’mon Gramps, ya can’t say stuff like that to me! Say it to Steve!” Bucky snorted at the look on Steve’s face.

“I’d be a lot more comfortable with that if Harry wasn’t your grandfather!” he laughed, and they stepped inside. The place was adorable; clean and well-managed, and immediately there was an old black cat trotting up to them. She seemed to know Steve was a friend, because once she was done greeting Bucky, she propped her paws up on Steve’s leg and wouldn’t move until he pet her. Steve smiled, and glanced around. “Harry, this is the kind of place we dreamed about as kids.”

“Damn right!” said Harry cheerfully. “Me and Helcat here spent the better part of 15 years saving for our own house. S’expensive right outside of the city.”

“Wait a minute!” Bucky stuck his hand up as though about to ask a question in school. “You used to dream about having a house in the suburbs? Like I joked about when we went to my parents’?” He couldn’t help but beam; that was so FUCKING cute. “Tha’s precious Stevie, s’real cute.”

Helen and Harry exchanged a quick look, but didn’t say anything. For the first time, Helen spoke aloud “Alright darlings, please please come properly in. It’d be lovely to sit in the kitchen with some coffee, and I have some fresh cookies, just out of the oven.”

Steve’s eyes brightened with excitement. “That sounds perfect, ma’am.” He followed her into the kitchen, holding Bucky’s hand while Harry walked behind them. While they walked, Helen spoke “Now now, Steve, I insist you call me Helen. Technically, we’re the same age!” she laughed “Aside from that, we have a saying in the Barnes family-”

All three of the Barnes’ said together “You’re only as old as you feel.”

“I think I’ve heard that before” laughed Steve “From Bucky and his sister. I feel younger every day.” He and Bucky sat at the table while Harry and Helen got the cookies and coffee together. “Harry...I don’t really know what happened after the move.”

“Ah well, I missed ya kid” said Harold fondly “But we drained all our money in the move, and since you didn’t have a phone and mail was expensive for us...there was nothing we could do. The next time I heard of ya, you were on the news, doing a circuit all over the world in that uniform of yours. Pretty spiffy.”

Steve rolled his eyes “That thing chafed too.” He had an arm around Bucky now, who leaned into him. “I heard that…” Steve paused “that you knew?”

“Course I knew” scoffed Harold, who immediately understood what was being referenced. “I mean, you were a cute little guy Steve, but you looked at men and women and everyone in between the same way. It’s how I knew James here was gay as the sun from the time he was 5.”

Bucky looked embarrassment. “Lots of cute boys in preschool, Pops!” he pointed this out jokingly, and rolled his eyes “He shouted ‘YOU OWE ME TEN BUCKS!’ to my dad when I came home with a boyfriend at 16.”

“Your dad didn’t believe it?” asked Steve, thanking Helen when she set a cup of coffee down in front of each of them. Bucky loaded his with sugar and cream, while Helen added two cubes of sugar, and Harry and Steve drank theirs black.

Helen spoke this time, a laugh in her voice. “No, he most certainly didn’t. Harold and I suspected, like he mentioned, from the time James was five. However, George was never aware no matter how much we explained it to him. One day he simply said ‘when he comes out to me, I’ll support him and believe him. Until then, I’ll keep treating him like he’s straight.’ The next day, James introduced his high school boyfriend. Jackson, I think his name was?”

“Don’t remember Gramma. Not real important anymore.” chuckled Bucky, noting the way Steve was determinedly sipping his coffee. “Lookit that, we’re makin’ Steve jealous.”

“He was always a jealous guy” laughed Harry. “But I don’t think there’s much to worry about. This one time we were sitting on the fire escape-”

“Oh no, Harry not that story…is that how you knew?”

“Steve, you dropped your shoe on the head of some guy you had a crush on, who was walking hand-in-hand with a girl you had ALSO a crush on. Knocked him out cold, and I had to go get your shoe cause it was your only one. Jealous bastard.”

Helen snorted “Harold has told me so many excellent stories…”

Steve blushed “Well, I guess you knew I liked that guy.”

“I was just glad you didn’t like me. I saw you as a brother, and figured you didn’t, but I didn’t wanna hurt you. Plus...that’d make this situation much more awkward.”

“Oh come on Harry...we never were, and never would’ve been like that, or I would’ve dropped a shoe on your head when you were walking with Agnes.” Steve laughed aloud, and Bucky held up his hand again.

“Wait a second, wait a second. You dropped ya shoe on the head of a guy ya liked? Wow. Glad I wasn’ with anyone when we met!” Bucky was giggling as his grandparents guffawed, and Steve spoke up again. 

“I think I could be intimidating enough to steal you away…” he winked at his boyfriend, and then turned back to Helen and Harold. “So, I never really saw what was public about me after I went out into the world. What did people say?”

“You were, and still are, a hero” said Helen earnestly. “We all saw the news. You saved my cousin’s life.” She looked at him with something soft on her face.

“Wait...what?” Bucky looked startled. “I didn’ know that.”

Steve shook his head “What happened?” he asked quietly “What was your cousin’s name?”

“Oh Steve…” she reached across and took hold of his hand that wasn’t holding his coffee. “We’re Jewish. Both Harry and I. My family immigrated to the United States not long before I was born. My aunt and uncle stayed in Germany, and they and my cousin were taken to one of the camps. Which you and your men liberated. He lived into his 80’s, and passed away peacefully. You let him live a happy life.”

Steve’s eyes softened, but there were also some memories in them. Helen patted his hand. “There are many people who can say that they and their families are the way they are...because of you.”

Steve cleared his throat and said “Being Jewish myself, I was only too happy to help. It was horrible to see but...I’m glad I helped you, even if indirectly.”

Helen smiled, letting go of his hand and starting to put cookies onto plates. She seemed like she was happier now that that was in the open, and Steve couldn’t help but smile to hear he’d made such a different for her. They sat and chatted, eating cookies for a while before Harold started up again.

“So you two…” he spoke shrewdly and asked “Jamie only mentioned you met through work...I’ll bet everyone else knows the details?”

Steve smiled warmly “I woke up to him. He was meant to lie to me, to ease me into this century, but...it didn’t work out for him. He told me the truth, and lost his job as a result”

“Then Stevie had ‘em call me back in so I could get m’job back. Tha’s when he saw the shirt Gramma got me. Came out t’him without even meaning to, covered in grease an’ all.” He snorted. “He had a buncha questions, and tol’ me how he was. Nice and bisexual, all f’ me.”

Steve rolled his eyes. “I was nervous. Back in my day...well, you both know.” 

“Of course we do. Luckily it’s not like that anymore.” Harry looked with a gentle smile at Steve. “Being straight myself, I can’t...really understand. But I knew I’d go to bat with you if you were ever found out...wasn’t gonna let anything happen to you.” He looked curiously at his friend, admiring how he looked with that smile on. He also noted the way Steve had an arm around Bucky, his fingers tracing along the soldier’s shoulder.

Steve smiled fondly. “I’m just sorry I didn’t tell you. I didn’t really understand myself, so I had no idea how to explain it to you. Aside from that, I didn’t want to put either of us in a bad position.” He looked over at Bucky. “In any case, it seems like it-”

“Worked out perfectly” completed Howard. “I’m happy for you both. I don’t think this could’ve gone better.”

They sat pensively for a little while before Helen spoke up “So tell me, Steven...what are your intentions with our grandson?”

Steve blushed in embarrassment. Bucky had warned him that this conversation would be coming, but it was expected from George Barnes, not George’s mother. He hesitated, though not for long. “I said a couple days ago, I have choices now I didn’t have before. I know what I want...and that’s Bucky. I don’t think he believes that I’m determined to be with him, and that he’s the only one I want.”

“I’d listen to him, Jamie. If he’s anything like he was, once he sets his mind to something he sticks with it. You’ll have to tell him to go away before he actually decides to.” Harold snorted in amusement. “He’s a loveable idiot.”

“Yeah” said Bucky happily. “He is.”

When they left later, Steve gave Harold a hug and Helen a kiss on the forehead. They got into the car and (this seemed customary in the Barnes clan) there was another Hungarian sendoff by the two seniors as the car drove away. Steve started to laugh, purely out of joy and the relaxing of tension he hadn’t known was there.

“Watcha giggling about baby?” Bucky asked, chuckling himself. He was sure that visit had gone well, and that Steve had been really happy to see his old friend again.

“Your family is just...so great. And the odds of...this is just bizarre.” He was still laughing between his words. “Bucky, I keep saying it but...I never thought I’d be here.”

“Out, with a guy, or happy?”

“All of the above. Plus...I never expected to fall in love.”

“Do you regret it?”

“Never have. Never will. Years of being frozen? You were worth the damn wait.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> End of part one! Seriously, thank you all so much. This experience has meant the world <3


End file.
